How to make friends in summer. 12 Effective Strategies for Making Friends Outside School During Summer

How can you make friends during summer without relying on school. What are the best ways to build lasting friendships outside of academic settings. How to overcome the challenges of making connections during vacation months.

The Summer Friendship Challenge: Overcoming the “Too Little Too Late” Problem

Summer can be an exciting time, but it often brings a unique challenge when it comes to making friends. Many people find themselves in a situation where they want to enjoy the season with new companions, only to realize they haven’t invested enough time in building those relationships. This is what we call the “Too Little Too Late Problem.”

Why does this happen? Friendships take time to develop and strengthen. If you’re hoping to have a group of friends ready for summer adventures, starting your efforts as the season begins may not yield immediate results. The key is to manage your expectations and approach the process with a long-term mindset.

Instead of aiming for an instant social circle, focus on laying the groundwork for lasting friendships that will continue to grow beyond the summer months. Remember this mantra: build your social life before you need it. By adopting this perspective, you’ll set yourself up for success not just this summer, but for years to come.

Leveraging the Summer Advantage for Friendship Formation

While making friends during summer presents challenges, it also offers unique advantages. As the season changes, people often become more open to new experiences and connections. This shift in mindset can work in your favor when seeking new friendships.

Why is summer particularly conducive to meeting new people?

• Many individuals reassess their social lives and seek to expand their circles
• Busy professionals may take time off, creating opportunities for socializing
• Those who have recently ended relationships are often ready to meet new people
• The general atmosphere of summer encourages outdoor activities and social gatherings

These factors combine to create a fertile ground for forming new connections. By recognizing and capitalizing on this summer advantage, you can increase your chances of meeting potential friends who are equally eager to expand their social networks.

Establishing a Weekly Social Hour: A Cornerstone Habit for Friendship Building

One of the most effective strategies for maintaining and growing your social life is to establish a consistent “Weekly Social Hour.” This dedicated time serves as a reminder to engage in crucial social activities that often get overlooked in our busy lives.

What should you do during your Weekly Social Hour?

1. Follow up with new acquaintances you’ve recently met
2. Reach out to existing friends to maintain connections
3. Research and plan new social activities
4. Extend invitations for upcoming gatherings or events

By setting aside this time each week, preferably on a Tuesday evening, you create a habit that ensures your social life remains a priority. Summer is an ideal time to implement this practice, as it aligns with the season’s social energy and sets you up for ongoing success.

Implementing Your Weekly Social Hour

To make the most of your Weekly Social Hour, consider these tips:

• Choose a consistent day and time that works with your schedule
• Set a reminder on your phone or calendar to ensure you don’t forget
• Create a checklist of social tasks to complete during this time
• Use this hour to brainstorm new ways to meet people and expand your circle

By dedicating this time each week, you’ll find that your social life becomes more manageable and rewarding, leading to stronger, more lasting friendships.

Rekindling Old Connections: Strategies for Reconnecting with Past Friends

Summer provides an excellent opportunity to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances. However, it’s essential to approach this process with care and subtlety to ensure a natural and comfortable reunion.

How can you effectively reconnect with old friends?

• Start with a casual message or social media interaction
• Gradually increase communication over a few weeks
• Share updates about your life and ask about theirs
• Suggest meeting up for a low-key activity

When reaching out, avoid rushing into making plans immediately. Give the relationship time to rekindle naturally. A thoughtful approach might involve asking about their favorite summer hangout spots and expressing interest in trying them together. This strategy creates a natural segue into making plans while showing genuine interest in their preferences.

Navigating the Reconnection Process

As you work to reestablish these connections, keep the following tips in mind:

1. Be patient and allow time for the relationship to rebuild
2. Show genuine interest in their lives and experiences
3. Share your own updates, but avoid overwhelming them with information
4. Be open to the possibility that the relationship may have changed

Remember, people change over time, and your rekindled friendship may look different from what it once was. Approach the process with an open mind and a willingness to form new memories together.

Exploring Summer Activities: A Gateway to New Friendships

Summer offers a plethora of activities that can serve as excellent opportunities for meeting new people and forming friendships. By engaging in these activities, you not only enjoy the season but also increase your chances of connecting with like-minded individuals.

What are some popular summer activities that facilitate friendship formation?

• Outdoor sports leagues (beach volleyball, softball, ultimate frisbee)
• Community gardening projects
• Local festivals and outdoor concerts
• Hiking and nature exploration groups
• Outdoor yoga or fitness classes

Participating in these activities allows you to meet people who share your interests, creating a natural foundation for friendship. The relaxed atmosphere of summer events often makes it easier to strike up conversations and form connections.

Maximizing Your Summer Activity Experience

To make the most of these opportunities, consider the following strategies:

1. Arrive early to events to have time for casual conversations before activities begin
2. Offer to help organizers, which can lead to meeting other volunteers
3. Attend events regularly to become a familiar face in the community
4. Be open to trying new activities outside your comfort zone

By actively participating in summer activities, you create multiple chances to meet potential friends while enjoying the season to its fullest.

Leveraging Technology: Online Platforms for Summer Connections

In today’s digital age, technology offers numerous avenues for meeting new people and forming friendships, even during the summer months. Online platforms can be particularly useful for those who may find traditional social settings challenging or for expanding your social circle beyond your immediate geographic area.

Which online platforms are effective for making summer connections?

• Meetup.com for finding local interest groups and events
• Facebook Groups centered around summer activities or local communities
• Bumble BFF for connecting with potential friends in your area
• NextDoor for meeting neighbors and joining community activities
• Discord servers focused on specific hobbies or interests

These platforms provide a way to connect with people who share your interests, making it easier to find common ground and start conversations. They can also help you discover local events and gatherings you might not have known about otherwise.

Tips for Safe and Effective Online Networking

While online platforms offer great opportunities, it’s important to use them safely and effectively:

1. Start with online interactions before meeting in person
2. Meet in public places when transitioning to in-person meetups
3. Be authentic in your online profiles and interactions
4. Respect others’ boundaries and privacy
5. Be proactive in organizing meetups or suggesting activities

By using these online tools thoughtfully, you can expand your social network and find potential friends who share your interests and values.

Cultivating a Friendship Mindset: Attitudes that Attract Lasting Connections

While strategies and activities are important, the mindset you bring to your friendship-seeking efforts can significantly impact your success. Cultivating the right attitudes can make you more approachable and increase your chances of forming meaningful connections.

What are some key attitudes that foster friendship formation?

• Openness to new experiences and different types of people
• Genuine curiosity about others’ lives and perspectives
• Willingness to be vulnerable and share your own experiences
• Patience and understanding that friendships take time to develop
• Positivity and enthusiasm for social interactions

By adopting these attitudes, you create an inviting presence that draws others to you. People are naturally attracted to those who exhibit genuine interest and positive energy.

Practicing Friendship-Building Attitudes

To incorporate these attitudes into your daily life, try the following exercises:

1. Practice active listening in conversations, focusing on understanding rather than responding
2. Challenge yourself to try one new activity or meet one new person each week
3. Reflect on your interactions and identify areas for personal growth
4. Express gratitude for the connections you have, no matter how small
5. Approach social situations with a spirit of curiosity rather than expectation

Remember, building friendships is as much about personal growth as it is about meeting new people. By cultivating these attitudes, you not only increase your chances of making friends but also become a more well-rounded and socially adept individual.

Overcoming Social Anxiety: Strategies for Confident Summer Interactions

For many people, the prospect of meeting new friends can trigger social anxiety, especially in the more exposed settings of summer activities. Overcoming these feelings is crucial for building the confidence needed to form new connections.

How can you manage social anxiety and build confidence in social situations?

• Practice deep breathing exercises before social events
• Start with small, low-pressure social interactions
• Set realistic goals for each social outing
• Focus on others rather than on your own anxieties
• Celebrate small successes in social situations

By addressing social anxiety head-on, you can gradually build the confidence needed to engage in more social activities and form new friendships. Remember that many people experience social anxiety, and overcoming it is a process that takes time and practice.

Practical Exercises for Building Social Confidence

To build your social confidence, try incorporating these exercises into your routine:

1. Practice initiating conversations with strangers in low-stakes situations, like asking for directions
2. Engage in role-playing exercises with trusted friends or family members
3. Keep a journal of positive social interactions to reinforce your progress
4. Gradually expose yourself to more challenging social situations
5. Seek support from a therapist or counselor if anxiety significantly impacts your life

By consistently working on your social confidence, you’ll find it easier to engage in summer activities and form new friendships. Remember, everyone has moments of social discomfort, and it’s through facing these challenges that we grow and develop stronger social skills.

Make Friends During Summer Without Solo Travel

Summer can feel very lonely if you’re not in a place where you have friends with whom to go out. You might see other people going to the beach, traveling, having fun, and relaxing, and comparatively, you wish you had just a fraction of that.

It’s a hard place to be in, I know from experience.

You never feel that “social void” as much as in the summer when everybody else is having the fun of their lives.

Some people recommend solo travel to meet new friends. That can be fun and interesting, but, for your social life, it can only get you temporary friends in a temporary experience – at best.

If you want to build a social life that will be with you even in your busiest times of the year (when you’ll have no time to talk to new people), then I recommend that you stick with the town you live in, and invest all your “summer energy” in building a long-lasting social life.

The Challenge of Making Friends During Summer – The “Too Little Too Late Problem”

So when you’re thinking “It’s time to have me some fun! It’s time to get social, go to the beach, enjoy the sun, etc…” Sorry to say, but you have a problem. We all do: friendships take time to build. If you need friends in order to go out, and you haven’t been building them, it’s too little too late.

So the first thing to do is manage your expectations. Instead of thinking that “this summer is going to be the best and the most fun, because I’m going to meet new friends and do all kinds of fun things!!” …think that “this summer is going to be great because I’m going to build a social life that will keep growing from now on.”

Be conservative with your expectations. It’s very important. If you have unrealistic expectations, you’ll get discouraged quickly and maybe get very sad about it. Friendships just don’t take a few hours to be built, they take more than that. And if you want to have amazing experiences, you need to pick, choose, and meet a few people before you find the right ones.

So, at least now you know; commit to never putting off socializing until you absolutely need people with whom to go out. Start making friends before you need them.

A mantra for your social life: build it before you need it

The Advantage to Making Friends During Summer

Yes, there is some good news about making friends during the summer.

Like any new season, or new episode in life, people get much more open to meeting new people and picking up new habits. See, if someone is in a tight cycle of habits, it can be hard to start meeting them, as they’ll have a hard time fitting new people in their lives.

But with new seasons, people open up for the new.

In summer, that effect is magnified. Even the busiest people start to realize that they better do something about their social lives. Some bust their behinds all year at work, and figure they deserve a little break now that summer is here – maybe it’s time to socialize and have fun.

Between us, that’s a lousy way to manage a social life. As I said, you need to be making friends way before you need the company to enjoy the summer.

But still, that means more people are available and are up for some socializing – that’s good for you.

There are also people who recently broke up with friends or lovers. When the summer comes they start thinking “okay, time to turn the page and meet some new people.”

In other words – more potential friends for you. Good news!

Let’s Dive In With Some Action Steps

1. Summer Is A Perfect Time To Install The “Weekly Social Hour” Habit

To keep your social life alive, there are some actions that you have to keep doing. These are things like: following up with folks you just met, staying in touch with your existing friends and acquaintances, finding new activities to do with friends, and inviting people to hang out.

The main reason why people stop doing these things is that they get distracted and forget. By putting a weekly reminder on your calendar, you can never forget. You dramatically raise the chances for your social life to stay alive and thrive.

Summer is the perfect time to install this habit, so do it now: put a weekly reminder in your calendar (Tuesday evening, preferably), call it something like the “Weekly Social Hour.”

2. Activate The Old Friends And Acquaintances

It’s time to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances. You should be subtle here. Reconnect gradually, but don’t rush it. It doesn’t feel natural if you haven’t spoken for a while and then all of a sudden try to make plans and hang out.

Contact them maybe twice, with a week or so interval, then invite them to go do something. Give them time to think of you as well.

One thing to try: when you contact them, ask them about where they hang out; and say that it sounds great and that you should try and do the same. That will raise the chances for them inviting you to join.

3. Go To The Places Where People Are Looking For Friends

These opportunities are available all year. But in summer, it’s your opportunity to try as many of them as you like. It’s time to try any place that can possibly land you some new interesting friends.

One condition: go where other people are looking for friends as well.

All local events, community events, interest groups… everything that might work, you ought to try. Here are some examples of places to meet people; and here is how to start a conversation and make friends.

Anything that MIGHT get you new interesting friends, you ought to try.

4. Summer Dance/ Sports/Hobbies/Yoga Workshops

These are temporary summer workshops.

Summer dance or sports workshops are interesting: because they’re temporary, they attract casual users. The people who attend are interested, but not necessarily die-hard fans of that activity. They are very likely to be there just to meet new people – exactly like you, which is great.

5. Update Your Social Skills (of course)

Nothing is more exciting and motivating than an overall update to your friend-making skills. As you learn new techniques and strategies to meet people, socialize, and make new friends, you’ll be tempted to go and apply it all, and see the results.

Wishing you a great summer!

– Paul Sanders

How to Make Friends at Summer Camp

One of the cool things about summer camp is that it gives you a chance to hang out with tons of new people, who you may not get to meet during the school year. This is a great opportunity to make new friends. But it can also be a little scary. Sometimes, it’s hard to figure out the best way to bond with people you don’t know much about. And now that summer is in full-swing, you might be getting nervous if you haven’t found a solid friend group yet.

Luckily, there’s still time for that to change. Camp friends can be a great addition to your social circle, and these friendships often last long after the summer is over. So it’s worth making the effort to connect with the kids at your camp. Not sure how to get started? These tips might help:

Get to Know Your Group: Usually, campers are separated into groups, teams or bunks. Make it your goal to talk to at least one kid in the group each day. You don’t need to worry about being the funniest, most interesting, or most outgoing kid in the whole camp. Just be yourself, and be open to getting to know the person you’re talking to. Ask which camp activity is their favorite, or ask them about their school. You don’t have to become friends with every person you talk to. For now, just focus on getting to know everyone, and seeing where you have common ground.

Listen to Others: In a camp setting, you might find that most of your conversations are taking place in a group. That means you won’t have as much control over what’s being discussed, and you may have a hard time steering the conversation away from topics that don’t interest you. That doesn’t mean you should check out if you get bored, or start talking over other members of the group. Instead, listen to the conversation, and respect whoever is speaking. Ask questions, and make contributions when you can. You’ll make more friends by being polite and engaged, than you will by acting rude and disinterested.

Be Supportive: Whether they’re playing a sport, performing in a play, or working on an art project, everybody wants to feel good about themselves at camp. Being overly critical of someone else can lead to hurt feeling, and unnecessary drama. So try to build the members of your group up, instead of tearing them down. When it’s appropriate, try offering a compliment, or cheering somebody on. Remember, camp is a place where everyone wants to have fun. People will be more likely to hang out with you if you make them feel confident and happy, rather than stressed or judged.

Be a Joiner: Don’t be scared to participate in an activity you’ve never tried before. Don’t refuse to be a part of an activity, just because it’s not your favorite. You may feel shy about dressing up for theme days, or getting involved in events, but you also might regret keeping to yourself too much. The more you join in on, the more opportunities you’ll have to bond with the rest of your camp group. You don’t have to be the best at everything you try. But if you give it a shot, and aim to have fun, you’ll have lots of chances to build new friendships, and strengthen the ones that are already forming.

Go with the Flow: It’s easy to get comfortable with certain routines, but it’s important to remember that things are often pretty laid back at camp. Activities may be moved or cancelled for special events, or because of rain. Rules that are enforced at your school may not exist at your camp. Holding on too tightly to routines, or insisting that things be done exactly the way you want, can put a damper on your experience, and everyone else’s. Instead, be willing to go with the flow. It will make the day run more smoothly for the whole group, and that will help others to feel more comfortable being around you.

Sometimes, it takes a few weeks to get your bearings at summer camp. But if you haven’t found yourself a group of friends yet, there’s no need to stress. You’ve still got some time left to try out our tips, and make some connections at your camp. By making an effort to get to know your group, and taking advantage of all the camp has to offer, you’ll stand a solid chance at forming friendships that last you through the summer, and even into the school year.

Friendship Circle — Special Needs Blog

For young children, especially those who have finished their first year in school feeling emotionally and psychologically bruised, summer break can be a really important time to de-stress, rebuild self-esteem, and get some extra nurturing from family. After a week of chill time, some parents might be ready to reflect and ask themselves, “What might make next year better?”

If you are reading this and quickly putting your fingers in your ears, saying “Nah, nah, nah, I can’t hear you,” I totally get it. It is more than okay to take a real break from it all and simply enjoy the time. Feel free to dig your toes in the sand, sip your fruity drink, and turn up the radio! No judgment, no pressure, no guilt.

If you are reading this and thinking summer is a less busy time in which you can focus on what might make the next school year better, then here are some ideas to help your child connect with peers and, hopefully, begin to nurture some friendships that will extend to the classroom.

1. First and foremost, play with your child for a set period of time every day.

It is easiest for kids who struggle with making and keeping friends to develop play skills they need with adults first. Good ideas for encouraging cooperative play include simple activities that require taking turns with high-interest toys, such as racing each other with two ramps and two Hot Wheels, taking turns with one Hot Wheel and a ramp, playing games like Pop-Up Pirate or KerPlunk, or building things together (such as forts).

If your child needs to learn to include others’ ideas in play, you can help by following your child’s lead (that might mean you don’t get to be Moana) but gently expand the play to include some of your ideas too. If your child needs to learn to solve social conflicts without yelling, abandoning, or hitting, you can practice gently changing a rule or taking an extra turn and provide opportunities for your child to learn to find a space to calm down, offer a trade, compromise, or explain the situation.

2. Go to your neighborhood park regularly—preferably around the same time and day.

You are hoping to connect and establish relationships with other age-matched children in your community. Parks provide primarily sensory (sand, water, etc) and physical play that developmentally tends to be easier for young children struggling to connect and play with other kids. The best parks are those that are enclosed, and if not enclosed, not spread out so much that the kids aren’t really close enough to each other to facilitate interaction.

You might have to start an awesome game of lava monster or avengers or whatever with your child to get other kids to notice and want to join in (think Pied Piper). Once momentum has gathered, try to work toward getting another child to take over your role and step out as soon as you can.

Bring awesome toys that will draw other kids to your child. That might mean you bring a parachute, or a beach ball, or a big dump truck, or two big shiny shovels … or a really cute puppy. Whatever it takes! (You can, of course, just borrow the puppy.)

Oh—and good snacks. If all else fails, everyone likes popsicles. Even if it just ends up to be you eating them. So be sure you like the snacks you bring …

3. Go to summer camps that are hosted by local businesses, community centers, or churches.

The strategy here is to find connections that are close to home so that your child can develop friendships that have “roots” in their community. Ideally, camps you choose would have a low staff-to-child ratio and provide activities that hit just the right sensory balance of activity and rest and a good, predictable routine.

4. Consider hiring a babysitter/peer mentor.

Think child labor … I mean, opportunity to develop responsibility and good work experience. You are preferably looking for a neighborhood child three or four years older than yours. Older children tend to be able to fill in the social gaps of younger kids and provide additional social practice for your child. This is mindful social engagement practice—meaning you will need to do some planning to ensure that your child is learning skills at the level he or she is at.

Try planning out with your child activities that the two of them can do together. To keep the time positive, keep visits short—an hour or so. Encourage making a snack together, some outside time, and some special play time. To make sure your child wants to interact with this person, consider buying or borrowing some special activities that are used only when the mentor comes. Maybe a special Lego kit they do together (older child finds the pieces, your child puts them together) or a craft bin or Shopkins.

5. Try to establish a connection with a child or two who will be in your child’s class in the fall—and then playdate the heck out of them!

Your goal is to help create a friendship with roots. Research indicates that kids who have even one friend who has their back are more protected from bullying because that friend is likely to be physically with your child, and more likely to defend your child.

That willingness to stick your neck out for someone else does happen when special unicorn children just inherently do the right thing for others, even when they don’t know them. Thank God for them! But more often than not, standing up to a bully happens when true friends don’t want their buddy hurt.

Just like adults, kids need fun, positive time with another person that is consistent over time. Otherwise, what we adults call “friends” are really just acquaintances (sorry to tell you, the little boy your child met at McDonald’s playland never to be seen again is not a “friend”). A real friend knows what your child’s room looks like. A real friend knows what your child likes to do—and mostly likes to do the same things.

6. Practice recess basics with your child.

Tag

Start with just you, and then add more people. If your child has difficulty tracking who is “it” when there are multiple people, consider videotaping the game (five minutes should do it). Then, at bedtime or a quiet time, review the video, pausing when a child is tagged. Ask your child who is “it.” You would be surprised how many children leave kindergarten not really sure who is “it” when playing tag.

Physical games

Your child needs to be able to take turns during activities, such as kicking a soccer ball in a net or shooting a basketball. You might also want to practice sabotaging the activity by taking an extra turn or two to enable a conversation about fairness and kids advocating for their own turns. Practice being a good sport by complimenting each other on good shots, good tries, etc.

7. Turn off the Wi-Fi. Unplug this summer.

Seriously. If your young child is experiencing challenges connecting socially, it means that this is an area of struggle. It also means that your child needs extra practice playing and interacting with people. Real people, doing real things in real life.

Many older, socially challenged people describe gaming, texting, and social media as the main way they connect with peers. The pressure to socialize digitally increases with age, which means that when kids are young in this electronic-pushing world, we need to protect the space of real time, dynamic, face-to-face interactions. This learning is sacred to being able to interpret the nuances of communication, such as body language, and to tune in to other people in action. Kids need to able to cope with boredom to create new ideas and to deal with not constantly being stimulated. Your teachers will thank you for this in September!

Don’t worry; I don’t believe that any of us are now able to escape the digital landscape as we get older. Your child will certainly gain those skills, but when kids are young and vulnerable, they need to plug into their families and other kids more than anything else.

8. Strengthen your relationship with your child.

School is not always the easiest place for some of society’s most interesting and needed people. Children build the strength and resilience they need knowing that they have a place at home and people at home who just “get them” and love them for themselves. This means creating an environment where you are free to say yes way more than “NO!”—where your child’s interests are encouraged and praised specifically (i.e. “I love watching you jump on the trampoline. You make it look so fun!” rather than “You are a good human.”)

It also means recognizing when kids are doing their best, that they may have some challenges that other kids don’t, and that they need your patience and compassion even more than other kids. Try to find the good where and when you can—even if on some days, because you are human, you can only muster, “Hey, he breathed in and out consistently all day! That’s something!”

For more from Shonna Tuck,
read Getting from Me to We:
How to Help Young Children
Fit in and Make Friends

Why Making Friends is One of the Most Important Things that Happens at Summer Camp

“Friendship is the gold of childhood”

Michael Thompson, Ph.D.

When I saw this TED Talk by Susan Pinker, “The Secret to Living Longer May be Your Social Life,” I was reminded once again of the crucial importance of relationships and social connections to our children’s (and our own!) life-long health and happiness.

Children and adolescents require more than intellectual growth and physical health to become happy, successful adults. They also need to develop the social skills necessary for positive relationships with others. The importance of quality childhood friendships for well-being both during childhood and later in life has been clearly established, and many camp programs specifically focus on fostering those friendships, along with teaching, modeling, and practicing social skills.

Campers look like they’re having a lot of fun playing outdoors and learning new activities, but are they also learning life skills during just two weeks at a residential summer camp? That was one of the primary questions of a study I conducted in 2014 which examined the perceived impact of a two-week residential camp experience on children’s happiness and social skills development. Participants were 167 children ages 6-15 from six different two-week, residential summer camps in Arizona, California, and Colorado. The children completed an end-of-camp written survey during the summer of 2014 in which they were asked to rate (1-5) how much they thought their social skills were impacted by their camp stay. Did their social skills, for example, get a lot worse (1) or a lot better (5)?

Participants’ parents went online to complete the same survey two to four weeks after their child’s camp stay. Both children and parents reported significant positive changes in the children’s social skills and happiness as a result of their two-week camp experience, and 140 of 147 (95%) children reported improvement in their overall social skills.

Social Skills Improvement

Focus on Friendship

Camp counselors, unlike teachers, view their primary role as one of facilitating friendships and positive experiences. They are also trained to help campers build social skills. At most camp programs, counselors participate in up to a week of training prior to the summer. Sessions include exercises in communication, leadership, and team building, during which counselors are trained to lead “ice-breakers” that help campers get to know one another and connect. Making friends is an important part of the camp experience, and with the help of their counselors, children learn and practice their friend-making skills. Given that camp programs emphasize forming new friendships and rekindling old friendships, the finding that children felt their social skills improved as a result of camp supports the hypothesis of this study and anecdotal testimonials. Not surprisingly, all campers (100%) reported making new friends at camp, with 99% of campers’ parents (132/133) reporting the same.

How many new friends did you make at camp?

Note: 10 children (6%) did not answer the question.

How do camp experiences foster friendships and develop campers’ social skills?

While the specific mechanisms for social skills development were not part of this study, campers’ comments provide some clues as to why camp experiences help foster close friendships and improved social skills.

Sense of belonging and social acceptance, understanding their value to the camp community:

“I’m not exaggerating, camp is my favorite place on Earth. The people provide a sense of belonging and ‘welcomeness.’ I’ll be back next year!”

“I liked the freedom you are provided with and how many new friends you can make within two weeks!”

“Camp is really fun. It’s usually hard to make friends, but here it’s easy.”
“I liked bonding with my horse, my friends, and the counselors.”

“Camp is really fun and it’s usually hard to make friends, but here it’s easy.”

“I get to make new friends and grow better friendships with existing friends.”

Opportunity to practice skills like cooperation, altruism, and empathy:

“What I like best about camp is creating connections and having a new home.”

“What I like best about camp is hanging out with my friends.”

“Camp helps me come out of my shell.”
“It’s fun and I get to play with my friends.”

Improved ability to label emotions in facial expressions, more time in face-to-face communication (no screens!):

“I want to come back to camp to get away from electronics, and I really like this experience.”

“I liked that there are no electronics, like a cleanse.”

Opportunity to practice their conversation skills at meals, activities, around the campfire, during rest time and while walking around camp:

“I loved doing activities with my cabin group and just talking to them.”

“The best thing about camp is the bonding time you spend with your cabin mates.”

Meeting new people:

“I love camp and getting outdoors and meeting new people from places all over the world.”

“I loved all of the wonderful counselors and the friends I made.”

Children who live together in close quarters, share activity and meal times, and gather around campfires in discussion and games get an intense burst of time with one another and often report feeling closer to their friends at camp—with whom they spend only two weeks—than to their school friends. Because they are with each other so much and—at the six camps of focus in this study—are required to unplug from electronics, children at summer camp spend more time in intentional, directed conversation as compared to when they are not at camp. Trained counselors lead campers through team- and relationship-building activities throughout the day, skills that are more deeply developed thanks to increased face-to-face communication.

At camp, children are socializing with one another from the moment they wake up until the minute they fall asleep. They have time to internalize group social norms and learn appropriate social interactions by emulating counselors and fellow campers. For a child who has grown up in the same neighborhood or gone to the same school their whole life, camp may be the first opportunity to meet such a large number of new friends and interact with a diverse group of people. Campers get practice talking to new people, figuring out appropriate self-disclosure, and asking questions to get to know others.

It’s no surprise that campers and parents believe camp experiences improve kids’ social skills. Those two weeks each summer spent at camp may, indeed, be life-changing. And new friends and improved social skills may be one of the most important reasons!

REFERENCES

Crosnoe, R. (2000). Friendships in childhood and adolescence: The life course and new directions. Social Psychology Quarterly, 63(4), 377-391. doi: 10.2307/2695847

RELATED

Study Finds Campers Really are Happy
Friends: Finding Gold in a Plastic Era
See more of my research data at campresearch.wordpress.com.

If you like Sunshine Parenting, please subscribe to get an email update each time I post. You can also follow me on Facebook or Pinterest for links to other articles and ideas about camp and parenting. Thank you for reading!

More information about Audrey’s new book is here: Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults.

In Happy Campers, Audrey shares what she’s learned from three decades of creating a culture where kids become happier while gaining important social and emotional skills. The book is based on her thousands of interactions with campers, camp counselors, and parents, her academic research in positive psychology, and interviews with camp directors from across the country.

How to Make Friends in College: A Comprehensive Guide

Do you remember the first friend you made?

The first person I consciously remember calling my “friend” (and later, “best friend”) was someone I met in preschool. I was probably four years old. We had similar interests, and complementary personalities (he was the big picture idea guy, I was the detail-oriented do-er).

As I’ve continued through life, my friendships have shifted. I’ve made new friends along the way, deepened my relationship with existing friends, and fallen out of touch with others. When you look at it this way, it seems like friendship is something that just “happens.” You can’t control it, it would seem, and maybe it’s better not to. After all, you can’t force friendship.

Yet, what I’ve come to realize in the past couple years is that while you can’t force or manufacture friendship, you can seek and cultivate it. It isn’t completely out of your control. In fact, since it’s such an important part of living a happy life, it’s something that you put on autopilot at your peril.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

– C.S. Lewis

One of the best things about college is all the opportunities it gives you to start fresh. This is especially the case with friends. You’re in a new place surrounded by literally thousands of people you’ve never met before. All of these people are potential friends. You just have to seek them out.

Which can be overwhelming.

Sometimes college can feel like this.

That’s why I put this article together. I want to help you turn your feeling of overwhelm into a feeling of opportunity and excitement. Excitement at the insane number of opportunities you have to make new friends while in college. Whether it’s your first semester or your final semester, this article will show you how to make new friends and deepen existing friendships in college and beyond.

Let’s get friendly!

Why You Have the Friends You Do

Where did you make your first friends? For most people, the answer fits into one of two categories:

1. Your school
2. Your neighborhood

What do these two areas have in common? They’re where you spent most of your time as a kid. So the reason you had the friends you had was quite simply that you spent lots of time repeatedly interacting with them.

Now, there are some important caveats. I’m not saying that geography determines all. Shared interests and personality play a very important role as well. You were obviously drawn more to some people than others. Perhaps you admired how outgoing the other person was, while they were drawn to your calmness. Perhaps you both liked trading Pokémon cards, or both preferred recess over story time.

To be honest, I always preferred story time to recess.

Still, the influence of where you spent the most time and whom you spent it with is strong.

This continues later in life, too. My best friends from high school were people that I knew from the following places:

• Marching band
• Honors classes
• Theater
• Often two of the above, or in some cases all three (!)

Once more, the key factor was spending lots of time together doing shared activities, activities that reflected at least some sort of shared interest or value. People join marching band for lots of different reasons, for instance, but most of them are bound to share at least a couple of those reasons in common.

This information can tell us a lot about how to actively make friends, and that’s what we’ll cover next.

How to Make Friends with Intention

“If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

– Zig Ziglar

Now that we’ve covered why we have the friends we do, let’s go out and find some. I know this may seem kind of weird. After all, friendship is one of those things society tells us should just happen naturally. Actively seeking friendship can seem unnatural.

I think, however, that being intentional about your relationships is one of the keys to a happy life. Unlike your family, you have control over who your friends are. It makes sense, then, to be deliberate in choosing friends. Actively seeking out friends means you’re more likely to have people around you who energize you, make you laugh, and support you during difficult times.

Now that we’ve established the importance of being intentional about who your friends are, we can move on to the how part. I’ve broken this next part into three sections to make it easier to navigate and review later.

So let’s get to the first part: where to find friends.

Part 1: 9  Places to Find Friends in College

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

– Dale Carnegie

Something that I’ve struggled with in the past is where exactly I should go to meet potential friends. This might seem obvious to some people. But if you’re an introvert like me, it can be helpful to have a defined list of places, as it takes some of the mystery and worry out of potential interactions.

Even if you’re a very social person, you may not have realized all the possible places that you can go to meet people in college. It’s pretty ridiculous when you think about it, especially if you go to a larger school.

So here are nine places to find friends in college. This isn’t a complete list, but it’s a great place to get started. If you think of other places I missed, please share them in the comments.

1. Campus Events

Thomas is fond of saying that college is a lot like a four year TED or SXSW conference. Nowhere is this clearer than in campus events. Here are just a few of the types of events that were common at my college:

• Guest speakers
• Karaoke nights
• Protests
• Charity 5Ks
• Free craft nights
• Classical music concerts
• Music festivals
• TEDx
• Quidditch matches
• Themed dances (with free food!)
• Global Nomad socials

Campus events are a great place to meet people. They give you an automatic talking point (especially if it’s something like a speaker), and they run the gamut of comfort levels for introverts and extroverts.

Facebook has made it easier than ever to learn about these events. What’s more, you can always check out the dozens of posters advertising them around campus. The real challenge is choosing which ones to go to, as there’s likely something every night of the week.

Bonus Tip: Many events (especially those with guest speakers) have a reception before or after. These are great places to strike up a conversation.

2. Campus Organizations

Campus organizations might be the best place to make friends. This is simply because there are so many of them. Whether it’s an intramural sport, a social cause, a recreational activity, a musical pursuit, or a career aspiration, there’s probably a club for it.

Clubs have all the benefits of campus events with the added bonus that they meet regularly. This gives you a chance to have repeated interactions with the same people, which is an important ingredient in forming friendships.

Caveat: Pick your campus organizations carefully. It’s fine to try out a bunch of different clubs at the beginning of the semester, but it’s better in the long run for both your social life and your stress levels to commit to 2-3 clubs that you really enjoy and care about.

It’s also worth noting that some clubs are better for forming friendships than others. Clubs that are highly structured, such as a musical group or campus council, often leave little room to actually talk and get to know each other.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t join more structured clubs (I was in several musical groups throughout college), but it can make it a little trickier to make friends than less structured organizations such as a philosophy discussion group or a running club.

3. Classes

There are 168 hours in a week. Assuming that you spend 8 hours a night getting excellent sleep, that leaves you with 112 waking hours. You probably spend around 12-15 hours in class each week, which works out to 10.71% – 13.39% of the time you’re awake. This represents a great opportunity to make friends.

As with clubs, some classes work better than others for making friends. Classes that have labs or group projects, annoying as they may be, tend to work better since they give you more time to talk than a class that’s just straight up lecture.

Classes also enjoy the obvious benefit of some sort of shared interest (or at least shared obligation, if it’s a gen ed/required class).

4. Your Dorm

If you’re not in class, then odds are you’re in your dorm. Especially if it’s your first year of college. The food may be gross, and the decor may look like it was lifted from Doom, but one thing dorms do have going for them is that they’re a great place to make friends. Even if it’s just bonding over shared adversity.

Seriously, though, dorms are great because of all the spontaneous social interaction they invite. Whether it’s hanging out in the common area doing homework, brushing your teeth in the community bathroom, or staging an impromptu hallway Nerf battle at 2 am on a Tuesday, it’s a fertile ground for friendships to develop.

Of course, the above also applies in other living situations. Sharing a house with semi-random people was where I made some of my best friends in college. Even if you’re renting an apartment off campus, you can still make an effort to get to know your neighbors.

5. Informal Hangouts

This is a pretty broad category, including everything from big house parties to dorm lounge smash tournaments. Often these begin with a casual text like, “Hey, we should all hang out tonight.” Where things go from there is anyone’s guess.

What’s great about informal hangouts is that they allow for lots of time to actually talk and get to know people. (Okay, this may not be true if it’s a wall-to-wall frat party blaring Kanye, but you get the idea).

They’re also, well, informal, so if things get awkward it’s easy to just leave. These sorts of hangouts are also great for cultivating existing friendships (more on that below).

6. Around Campus

People often overlook this, but if you keep an open mind you can meet some really cool people this way.

Basically, this is everywhere that’s not class. Some examples include:

• The gym (if you’re both working out, then that’s clearly a shared interest).
• The student center (great for people watching, but also a nice place to strike up casual conversations)
• Waiting in the hall (whether it’s before class or a meeting with a professor or whatever)
• Walking around campus (obviously don’t be creepy, but if you happen to be walking the same way as someone or to the same location, that’s a nice conversation starter)

This is probably on the more “advanced” level of making friends, as it requires you to initiate conversations with strangers. But it’s a great way to overcome shyness and increase your confidence.

7. Online

This can take different forms, but the most obvious is any Facebook groups associated with your class or school. I didn’t do this a ton myself, but I knew people who made friends just through being active in the class Facebook group before the semester even started.

This is a great way to go if, like me, you come across more eloquently in writing than you do in person.

Just don’t be one of those people who spams the group–not cool.

8. Internships and Research Assistantships

Research and internships are a great way to grow new friendships.

We’re big fans of internships here at College Info Geek. Not only do they look great on resumes and give you real work experience to talk about in job interviews, but they’re also a superb way to make friends.

For example, when I spent seven weeks living on campus as a summer research assistant, I had the chance to make several new friends. The campus was nearly empty, and that made it feel a lot more manageable. I lived in a dorm with maybe 200 other students, and I ran into a lot of the same people while cooking dinner or doing laundry.

Once again, this sort of experience provides a great common ground for conversations. Even things as simple as, “So what sort of research are you doing this summer?” or “How did you find this internship?” can be the openings of meaningful relationships.

9. Campus Jobs

In the “professional world,” people often talk about having “work friends.” But this isn’t something that requires you to have a full-time job to take advantage of. Besides the time management and obvious monetary benefits, campus jobs are a cool way to meet people.

When I worked in the campus post office, for instance, I had the chance to chat with the same several people six days a week. I’ll admit I didn’t use this opportunity as well as I could have, but looking back it was an excellent place to meet people. This is an even better strategy if it’s a job with a lot of downtime such as working reception.

Having trouble remembering the names of all the new people you’re meeting? This guide will help.

Part 2: How to Go from Acquaintance to Friend

“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.”

– Oscar Wilde

So you’ve gone out to some of the places above, and you’ve met some people. Ideally, you’ve chosen a place where you can encounter some of the same people over and over in order to build rapport. Maybe you’ve even exchanged phone numbers or added each other on Facebook.

Now that you have these “weak ties” (to use a term from sociologist Mark S. Granovetter), how do you take the relationship to a deeper level? How do you go from acquaintance to friend?

The answer, it turns out, is simple. Not necessarily easy, but definitely simple. What’s the “secret”? One-on-one time.

Hanging out in a group is lots of fun, but it can be difficult to spend enough time talking with one person to really open up to each other and get beyond surface level conversation. The best way to go from acquaintance to friend is to spend quality time talking and/or doing an activity together.

Meeting for coffee is a low pressure way to get to know someone better. Your coffee does not have to be as fancy as in the photo.

To make this easier, I suggest that you focus on cultivating one or two relationships at a time. Going out and meeting lots of people is a good idea to keep your social skills honed and broaden your network, but when it comes to making friends it’s best to keep it small. Especially if you’re more introverted and find social interactions draining.

Like dating, it’s also best to keep things casual at first. Message the person and suggest meeting for coffee or (cheap) lunch. These settings are great because they’re low pressure and allow for easy escape if the conversation gets stale.

Or if you want more structure, then suggest an activity you both would enjoy, ideally one that’s not too intense. That is, going for a walk in a local park is probably better than suggesting the two of you hike the Appalachian Trail.

Tip: Pick an activity where you can actually talk to each other. So eating a meal together is better than seeing a movie, for example.

If things are going well, then you may be ready to take things to the “next level,” which we’ll cover in the following section.

Part 3: How to Deepen and Cultivate Friendships

“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let’s say that you’ve gone through Part 2, and you now would definitely call yourselves friends. How do you maintain this friendship, and how do you take it to a deeper place?

Maintaining the friendship is similar to the above section. Just keep in touch and do things together regularly. Pretty simple (though it can take some effort, especially when your life gets busy).

As for deepening a friendship, the key in my experience (and from people who are far more qualified), is vulnerability.

This video from The School of Life sums up the concept nicely:

When people complain about “shallow” conversation, they’re usually getting at a deeper lack of vulnerability. They’re getting at, as the video explains, people trying to seem impressive instead of revealing what they’re really like, how they really feel.

Vulnerability isn’t easy. As Brené Brown puts in her TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability”:

“…in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.”

This can be painful. And risky. But also tremendously rewarding. Have a look at this article for some practical ways to be more vulnerable.

Bonus Round: Common Questions and Miscellaneous Tips

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”

– Tennessee Williams

Before we wrap up, I want to address a couple common questions students have about friendship, as well as include some miscellaneous advice that didn’t fit elsewhere in the article.

1. How do I stay in touch with my friends from high school when I’m in college?

This is a tricky one, and it depends on your circumstances. If you go to college in the town where most of your high school friends still live, it’s just a matter of meeting regularly.

If, however, you and your friends are scattered all across the country at different colleges, as it was for me, then you have to be more deliberate. My high school friends and I have always made a point of getting together during breaks to go to trivia, have parties, and even take summer road trips. And, of course, text, call, and FaceTime regularly.

Be like these skater dudes: make time to hang out.

That being said, you should also expect that you’ll drift apart from some of your high school friends. People change a lot after high school. The gap between “life stages” widens, or is at least more visible than it was before college. This can be uncomfortable, but it’s bound to happen.

On the other hand, if you were unsatisfied with the friendships you had in high school, college is a great place to start fresh. Obviously don’t be a jerk, but don’t feel like you have an obligation to remain friends with people just because you hung out with them in high school. That’s the sunk cost fallacy at work.

2. None of my friends ever want to do anything. What should I do?

This one’s simple: Become the organizer. Take an active role in planning things for all of you to do. It took me far too much of college to realize the power of this approach.

Because generally it’s not that your friends don’t want to hang out. They’re just in the same position as you, looking for someone to nudge them toward an activity. Don’t be part of the inertia; be the one who moves things along.

3. Advice: Branch out from your initial friend group

Coming into college, it’s normal to make friends with the first people you meet and click with. There’s nothing wrong with this (I’m still friends with some people I met at my college orientation).

But I would encourage you not to feel like those people are the only ones you can ever be friends with. Go to some of the places I suggested above and try to branch out. Join a new club, take a class that’s outside your area of expertise, or strike up a conversation with a coworker.

The result is likely to be a richer life and an expanded social circle.

Get Out and Make Some Friends

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

– Anaïs Nin

This article covered a lot of ground. As with any kind of advice, however, it’s useless if you don’t apply it. At the end of the day, the best advice I can give for making friends is to make it a priority. Once you’ve achieved that mindset shift, your job is to get out there and make it happen.

So today, I’d like to challenge you to apply just one piece of advice from this article. Try looking in a new place for friends. Invite an acquaintance out for coffee. Practice vulnerability with an existing friend.

If you take even one of these steps, you’ll be on your way to a happier, more fulfilling life.

Image Credits: header image, blurry crowd, swing set, story time, jazz, research, get coffee, skaters 

Tips to Help Your Child Make Friends at Summer Camp

Making friends can be a challenge for anyone, child to adult, but when kids head to camp this summer, parents can help. If it’s your child’s first time at camp or if they are a seasoned summer camper, making new friends can be difficult. This is especially true for those kids who are shy. While shyness can affect everyone at one time or another, depending on the situation, there are ways to overcome shyness, timidity, and anxiety when meeting and making new friends. In anticipation of summer camp, here are some tips to help you, as parents, aid your kids in overcoming shyness, anxiousness, or even fear when making new friends.

Look Around

Observation is the first step. When kids arrive at camp, tell them to use their eyes and take a close (but not creepy) look at those around them. It’s all a matter of observation. Tell kids to see if they can spot any common interests with their fellow campers. It might be a cap from a favorite team or clothing with a treasured logo or a shirt exactly like theirs. The possibilities are endless, and the similarities open the door for an easy introduction and conversation.

Easy Introductions

Let your kids know that introducing yourself can be hard, even for adults, but once they’ve identified some common ground, the task is easier. Whether the common interest is sports, music, fashion, or even nail polish, the pressure is off, and the introduction will be easy. Remind your children that the other kids are likely just and nervous and will in most cases welcome an introduction from a friendly face. It’s all a matter of mustering up a little bit of courage. Tell your kids to keep it simple and offer up a friendly compliment followed by a short introduction like this, “Cool cap, I’m John. I’m from Richmond” or “Love your flip flops. I’m Lynn. I’m from Tampa.” 

Ask Questions to Learn About Your New “Friend”

Remind your kids that introductions are usually short, and they probably don’t want to tell their new “friend” everything about them in the first five minutes. Instead, help them think of some ways to find out about their new “friend” by asking questions. A good place to start is with camp, tell your kids to ask questions about what others are excited about for camp week. They can even begin by saying, “I can’t wait to learn snorkeling. Have you ever done it before?” Because people of all ages love it when someone wants to know them and what they think, a great conversation starter could be, “What are you most excited to do at camp?” It’s a great way to get their fellow campers talking and to find more common ground as they form a fledgling friendship. Remind your children that everyone they meet won’t necessarily become a best friend but learning fellow campers’ names and something about them can help. It’s important your kids know becoming friends takes time, but as they bond over activities and connections, they’ll likely have at least a few good friends when camp is over.

Games Can Help

Camps often use games as ice breakers, and letting your kids take a favorite card game or a deck of cards can help them form friendships in their free time. Tell kids an easy way to meet others can be by simply asking, “Do you wanna play Uno?” or “Anyone know how to play rummy?” Laughing and playing together, learning new games, can help form the early bonds of friendship while at camp.

At Camp Live Oak, the goal is fun and learning, so remind your kids that making friends won’t be hard as they laugh and learn together!

How to Keep Kids Connected to Friends Over Summer Break | Scholastic

As the school year comes to a close, help foster the friendships your child has made through these simple ideas and activities to stay in touch and spend time together.

1. Exchange info. 

School directories are great (if you can find yours) but they usually list only one phone number. Share alternative contacts with the parents of your kid’s pals by handing out calling cards. You and your child can DIY them or order from moo.com. Or create a shared online calendar. That way, you’ll all be on the same page when it comes to scheduling meetups.

2. Book a multi-family field trip.

Get tickets with another family for an event. By locking into a specific time and place, you’ll firm up the commitment and give the kids something specific to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be fancy: A minor-league baseball game, a family-friendly walkathon for a good cause, or a local concert are all great ways for kids to have a blast together.

3. Invite friends to be pen pals.

There’s nothing like getting an old-fashioned letter or postcard. Encourage your little one to get creative: Send artwork, puzzles, or Mad Libs back and forth. Or have him create his own postcard on USPS.com. It’ll get mailed for you the next day (how easy is that?). Bonus: A child who doesn’t like to write might be more willing to think up a few captions.

4. Plan a mini class reunion.

Throw a mid-summer bash with other classmates, like a barbecue party or a picnic at a park with a great playground. Set up a four-square board on the basketball court, organize a few games like leap-frog races or musical outdoor chairs (use rocks or playground equipment), and they’ll be good for hours!

5. Host a movie night.

Daytime playdates can be tricky with camp schedules. A movie night (at home or at the theater) can be an exciting way for kids to hang — plus it’s great for younger ones who aren’t ready for a sleepover. You can even show the flick in your backyard. You’ll need a DVD projector, speakers, and a screen, but you can rent them. Don’t forget the popcorn!

90,000 How to make friends and be friends: answers of psychologists to adolescents and peers

30.05.2017

Summer has come. Old friends have dispersed in all directions. And you may have gone to a camp, to a dacha or some other new place. Or maybe in September you have to go to a new school. How do you make new friends in these situations to make it happen?

First, remember that you are worried and worried in a new environment and when meeting new people EVERYONE! Another question is how the person behaves in this case.

Know that sometimes when you worry a lot or try to appear cool and confident, you push people away with your behavior.

Which behavior is repulsive when meeting people?

1. You pretend to be indifferent or unapproachable. In fact, you really want to meet and chat with everyone, but you are afraid, so you pretend that you are not interested at all. When others see you with such an expression on their face, they think so, so they do not approach themselves and do not call to them.
2. You start comparing. Starting to communicate, when strong relationships with new guys have not yet been established, you, again, wanting to show your best side, say: “But I was in the camp last summer, there was a much cooler football field!” What do you mean by that? That you were in a cool camp. What are others hearing? This camp is bad. They feel offended, maybe envious. And resentment and envy are not the best helpers at the beginning of a friendship. And they may even answer you: “Well, go to that camp of yours!”
3. You perceive the other person as a stranger. Unconsciously, you see danger in a stranger, so you begin to behave like a “beech”, to defend yourself, although you have not yet been attacked.

Start communication with positive attitudes!

People most often want to meet a new person. Interest always prevails over the rest!

What’s the best way to start a conversation?

1. Be yourself, smile and just behave .No wonder there is an expression “keep it simple, and people will be drawn to you.”
2. Start communication with a request or a question. Everyone is pleased to hear something good or to be useful, to help a “newbie” (this gives a sense of importance and significance – I know, but he does not know, I prompted him).

For example: “Guys, you have such a cool football field here! So I want to play on it! ” (compliment)

Or – “Hello! It’s cool you have here. What’s so interesting? ” (compliment + question)

Or – “Guys, where is the pool here? I wanted to see.Have you already swam? Well, how is it? ” (question)

3. If you want to be a good conversationalist, talk to people about them.

What does this mean? At the beginning of the conversation, ask more questions and be interested in people. Listen more than talk about yourself.

However, there is one point – do not overdo it. If you see that a person is willing to talk, ask and listen. If the person is not ready to answer your questions, do not bother with further questions.

What are people willing to talk about? About your successes, hobbies, hobbies, your city / town / district, your pets, etc.

So I can ask – Are you doing anything? And where do you live? Tell me about that city, I’ve never been there. Do you have pets? Which? Etc.

What is not worth asking? – About health, money, family relationships. We do not know what the person’s family situation is, so with our innocent question, “Who does your dad work with?”, We can upset a person if, for example, he does not have a dad.

Or the question “How much are your jeans worth? Or what kind of firm are they? ” we can also create tension, because it may turn out that the thing is not at all branded, and the person does not want to talk about it and is embarrassed. Or, on the contrary, the thing may turn out to be very expensive, and a person may be embarrassed by your interest in it.

4. Broadcast the position “WE”

There is a great secret! It’s called Mowgli’s Secret.

Do you remember the phrase that allowed him to befriend all the inhabitants of the jungle?

“You and I are of the same blood! You and me!”

What does this mean? The other person is more likely to start communicating with you and trust you if you broadcast the similarity with him.

Say words like “ I also love to sunbathe.

Just like you, when I got on the bike for the first time, I could not slow down.

I brought the game. We are going to play cool now! “

5. Be interesting.

“Easy to say,” you might think. In fact, not as difficult as it might seem.

Just be interested, get carried away with something. If you have a hobby that you are burning with.If you are a professional in some topic and start talking about it with enthusiasm, then others will also get carried away. Especially if you know some tricks in this topic that others do not know – some unusual information or a special trick in any business.

However, if you have not yet found such a hobby for yourself in which you are a specialist, do not worry!

The previous tips are also quite enough to start making friends in a new team and not alienate you.

Happy summer!

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90,000 Summer 2021 – DSOL White Mountains

January 29, 2020 Ekaterina

“I really miss the White Mountains, our second shift.Now I saw myself in a photo on Instagram and I remember how we performed in the summer on parent’s day, how we danced on stage. This is a good camp. The best one I’ve been in. And I will definitely come this summer. Wait. ”

03 May 2019 Alexandra

“We just arrived home from the sanatorium! We were on a family shift, on these May holidays! With a 4 year old child! And we are delighted, we managed to stay for only 3 days, but we got a lot of impressions! Clean air, wonderful room, excellent sports grounds! And of course the same wonderful staff, helpful and attentive!…
I would like more such shifts! To return to a corner of peace and tranquility, where you can forget about your phone, vanity and business and just enjoy) sorry you can’t attach photos and videos!) We have a lot of them) Thank you)))) ”

January 31, 2018 Elena

“Forgive me for being late. My child rested on New Year’s holidays in the White Mountains for the first time. OOOOOO really liked it. I found new friends. Accommodation, food, rest are amazing.”He wants to come again. When we drove her, we ourselves were amazed by the indescribable beauty: the snow is clean, the air is clean – we drove like a fairy tale. We met the director – a wonderful woman. Educator Elena Viktorovna
sensitive person. Thanks everyone! All the best and prosperity to the White Mountains. ”

11 January 2018 Natalya

“My son (14 years old) went to the New Year shift from 02 to 09 January, he returned yesterday. Initially he did not want to go, he returned with very positive impressions and regret that he had spent little time.He said that he would definitely go in the summer, made friends with the guys. Very good mood and attitude, I am glad that the child rested and gained positive emotions. Many thanks to the team and management for giving our children a real winter holiday. ”

Filmstrips about the Arctic from the collection of NEDB

Arctic – a harsh, cold land. Reindeer, polar bears, seals, walruses and killer whales live here. It is not easy to live here, but the indigenous peoples, despite the all-pervading industrialization, have maintained their traditions and customs for centuries, preserving the fragile northern nature.

Filmstrips from the collection of the National Electronic Children’s Library will help you learn more about this amazing region of the Earth.

A house made of wooden pillars, covered with deer or walrus skins – the traditional dwelling of the Chukchi. A beautiful yaranga was built by the boy’s father Talik, it was so good that the owner of the sea Takayushin wanted such a house for himself. You can find out how the story ended by watching the filmstrip “Ice Yaranga” (1985, L.Yasinskaya, ill. D. Bryukhanov).

Filmstrip “Ice Yaranga” / L. Yasinskaya, artist D. Bryukhanov, 1985

Filmstrip “Alyoshka and Oleshek” (1973, AF Chlenov, ill. Yu.S. Greshkovich) will tell about life at the polar station, how the Arctic summer looks like and how to make friends with a fawn and what adventures I had to go through a boy and a deer in the tundra. In turn, the hero of the filmstrip “Near the White Sea” (1970, F.G. Lev, ill. V.V. Bogatkin) spent the summer in a Pomor village, learned what a polar day is and set off on a voyage.

Filmstrip “Alyoshka and Oleshek” / Chlenov Anatoly Filippovich, artist Gershkovich Yuri Solomonovich, 1973

Filmstrip “Near the White Sea” / Lev Felix Grigorievich, artist Bogatkin Vladimir Valerianovich, 1970

Lapland – the edge of winter, deer, northern lights.It is here, against the background of the polar night, that the events of the fairy tale “Sampo-Loparenok” (1977, Z. Topelius, ill. V. Ya. Bordzilovsky) take place. Sampo boy disobeyed his parents and went for a sled ride. Ahead of him was a meeting with the formidable mountain king Hiishi, a magic friend – the Golden Horned Deer and a long way home. The heroine of the fairy tale “Star-Eye” (1984, Z. Topelius, ill. By RA Stolyarova) was born in distant Lapland.

Filmstrip “Sampo-Loparenok” / Topelius Zakhary, artist Bordzilovsky Vitold Yanovich, 1977

Filmstrip “Star-Eye” / Topelius Zakhary, artist Stolyarov Remir Alexandrovich, 1984

“Vaska Bear” (1989, N.Osipova, ill. B. Ignatieva) is a story about how a bear cub settled at a polar station and made friends with polar explorers. The bear from the filmstrip “Insolent type” (1984, EK Marysaev, ill. M. Saltykov) got into the habit of feasting in the northern village and it was not easy to wean him from this habit.

Filmstrip “Vaska the Bear” / Osipova Nelly, artist B. Ignatiev, 1989

Filmstrip “Impudent type” / Marysaev Evgeny Kleonikovich, artist M.Saltykov, 1984

The voyages of the Russian Arctic explorer Vitus Bering helped to make many geographical and scientific discoveries, to map the northern and eastern coasts of Russia. The film strip “To unknown shores: The first voyage of Vitus Bering; The second voyage of Vitus Bering ” (1988, OP Orlov, ill. G. Grigoriev).

Filmstrip “To unknown shores: The first voyage of Vitus Bering; Vitus Bering’s second voyage “/ Oleg Petrovich Orlov, artist G.Grigoriev, 1988

90,000 why rashes appear on the face in summer and how to prevent them

Sun acne usually occurs in late spring, early summer, or during travel, when, after a long break, the skin is exposed to sudden sun. Most of all, this form of rash affects women 20-40 years old and people whose skin is prone to oily.

For many years it was customary to think that the sun is like a panacea for acne: it dries them out and heals the skin. This opinion was formed due to the incompleteness of the picture of everything that happens under the top layer of the skin. The first time really – the sun ennobles the face, cleans up pimples and evens out the tan tone. This is because light rays have bactericidal properties and dry out comedones. Infrared radiation heats up stagnant spots, and they become invisible. Vitamin D and the hormone of happiness serotonin are produced.At first glance, there is really only one benefit from the sun: the face becomes clearer, the mood is better.

After the peak of improvements, there is a recession. The reverse process begins, and the activity of sebocytes increases by 120-140% after four days of active exposure to the sun. As a result, the rashes return in increased numbers. Ultraviolet light can be useful, but it should be metered in portions. On the beach or in a solarium, radiation hits the skin in such an amount that it is by no means cured.Although smart skin in the summer tries to protect itself from ultraviolet attack and thickens the stratum corneum. But this only complicates the production of sebum on the surface and leads to clogged pores.

What else

• Increased UV radiation reduces skin immunity.In summer, the skin sweats, and dust, dirt, city smog and harmful impurities, which are rich in city air, easily adhere to a damp surface. Wet skin is more vulnerable and easily damaged by friction. You can rub your forehead or put on a sweater with a narrow neck, and micro-wounds are already formed on the surface, into which microbes penetrate like an open gate.

• Melanocytes (specialized skin cells) produce melanin in excess, which provokes the appearance of age spots.

• In summer, the acid-base environment (pH level) changes towards alkalization. This environment is conducive to bacteria and inflammation.

• The sun changes the chemical composition of sebum, it becomes denser and often forms plugs in the glands

How to prevent “summer” rashes?

So that summer does not become stressful for the skin after a long break, you should appear in the sun gradually.The skin will become accustomed to UV rays and the reaction will not be as severe.

You need to wash your face in the heat not only in the morning and in the evening (this is a mandatory minimum), but also during the day. For intermediate washing, it is enough to wipe your face with a cotton pad moistened with tonic or thermal water. The latter are different in saturation with trace elements – depending on the source from which it is obtained. Thermal water with selenium works especially well in summer. It is a natural antioxidant that protects the skin from free radicals and soothes after sun exposure.Selenium is contained in thermal springs in France, and the packaging usually indicates where the water came from.

Spray thermal water in the shade and do not leave to dry on the skin. Water droplets turn into small magnifiers and can cause burns in the sun. After one to two minutes after application, blot your face with a tissue. During this time, the minerals will have time to saturate the skin, and if you leave the water to evaporate on its own, the desired hydration will end in an unpleasant feeling of tightness.

For morning and evening cleansing, dermatologist Dr. Robinson recommends products containing salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide. For gentle cleansing of the skin, an exfoliating gel is suitable, but without microgranules.

GARNIER Cleansing Gel Clear Skin Against Blackheads

Gel for washing EVA ESTHETIC for combination to oily skin

Salicylic Cleansing Gel IMMUNO Propeller for Sensitive Skin

If you use scrubs in washing, then for the summer you should refuse them.Hydroxy acids (AHA / BHA) cope with cleansing and acne, but in the sunny period they are also dangerous and can provoke pigmentation. Therefore, if you cannot do without acids, then cleanse your skin only before going to bed, do not plan to go to the beach the next day, and be sure to use an SPF cream.

For oily skin prone to breakouts, dermatologists advise an oil-free sunscreen base. Any cosmetic products should be oil-free so that pores do not clog and non-absorbable fat does not provoke acne exacerbations.But still there are oils with which oily skin will make friends: with polyunsaturated fatty acids, that is, non-omedogenic. They thin sebum and clog pores less. These include: argan, mineral, tomato, shea, black currant, rosehip and others. There is a special comedogenicity table by which it is convenient to check oils. They wrote about it here.

If you have oily skin, pay attention to masks with tomato extract. After such a mask, the skin is not sticky and is not oversaturated with active substances.

WEIS face mask with tomato extract

If you have to stay in the sun or on the beach for a long time, then it is advisable to renew the cream. It is important to apply it on clean skin, otherwise all dust and dirt from the previous coating will go straight to the pores.

Drinking plenty of fluids in summer is important, and not just to prevent dehydration: frequent drinking also helps to get rid of acne. Thorough cleansing and maintaining water balance is the basis for cleanliness and health of the skin when it’s sunny and stuffy outside.

To benefit from the sun, the cosmetologist from St. Petersburg Alla Nikolaeva advises to sunbathe at safe hours: from 7 to 12 in the morning and from 18 to 21 in the evening.

And the last tip, which is relevant at any time of the year, is less stress. From it, diseases appear, worse than acne, but they also pop up. Take care of yourself and your health, and then the summer will truly delight.

Review author:

Milichkina Alena

90,000 Opened the first session of the “Victory Summer”

At the Victory Museum, the city summer club “Victory Summer” was opened.The first five-day shift opened on May 31st.

At the opening ceremony, the first members of the club were greeted by the director of the Victory Museum, Deputy Secretary of the Public Chamber of the Russian Federation Alexander Shkolnik.

The guys who arrived at the shift met with their counselors and saw a festive gala concert.

This year, ten new directions are opening in the club: historical, environmental, civil, patriotic, media, technical direction, children’s self-government, space, creative, “We are the world” and the direction for the smallest “Murzilki”.

The organizers plan to invite guests to the club who will share the secrets of their profession with the children. These will be bloggers, journalists, athletes, as well as movie stars – children will be able to make friends with idols, ask them questions, take pictures and, of course, learn skills.

During the summer, the club will hold 13 shifts, and each of them will be unique for children in its own program. That is, if a child visits several shifts over the summer, he will be able to try himself in several directions.

In the Summer of Victories, a team of experienced counselors is engaged with children, who have undergone special training at the school of counseling skills and are ready for any situation on the grounds. This teaching staff is led by experienced senior counselors who are always ready to help others. They will answer any parent’s questions and will do their utmost to ensure that each child has a great time.

Throughout the entire stay of children on the territory of the club, their safety is ensured by employees who are in direct communication with the Russian Guard and the police.These are people professionally trained to solve even the most difficult tasks related to the safety and security of people. Also, on the territory of the club, two medical workers will be on duty every day during all shifts.

“Summer of Victories” is a club with a day stay, every day it accepts children at 8:30 and by seven o’clock in the evening they are taken home by their parents. Children spend Saturday and Sunday at home, which is very convenient, because many go out of town on weekends or to visit.

You can sign up for the Summer Victory club by sending an application to the mail on the Victory Summer website.In the application, indicate the full name of the parent, child, date of birth of the child, phone number of the parent and the desired date of change. For registration, a standard package of documents is required: copies of the child’s birth certificate and the passport of one parent or legal representative, the child’s medical insurance policy, as well as medical certificates of health.

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What to wear with women’s summer pants: What pants to wear in summer

Practical and comfortable trousers are increasingly replacing dresses from office bows.So that in summer it is not hot in them, it is worth choosing models from natural materials – cotton, linen, silk. They will not wrinkle if sewn from mixed fabrics – for example, with the addition of viscose and elastane. Consider what options for summer trousers women prefer and what they can be combined with.

Fashionable colors

Every year and every season, not only new styles come into fashion, but also new colors. The main trends of summer 2020 are deep blue, bright red and orange, as well as warm yellow and muted blue.

Deep blue is the trendiest color of 2020. It is associated with nature as it is the color of the sea and sky. The advantage of blue shades is that they are an excellent base for combining all other colors. Blue enhances other bright colors and sets off muted ones. The faded blue is reminiscent of jeans. It is associated with comfort, convenience and goes well with almost all bright colors, and also looks good in monochrome.

Red is traditionally associated with energy and confidence; purposeful natures use this color in their image.It’s easy to balance with neutral accessories.

Orange is the newcomer of the season. He immediately sets a sunny and positive mood. Combine it with other bright colors with caution, since not all shades can make friends with each other.

Yellow is just as optimistic in mood, but can accentuate natural pallor. This color looks good on tanned skin, which is especially true in summer. Muted hues help take a break from brightness and create a calmer look.

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Culottes

Wide culottes are a comfortable summer alternative to regular pants. They are comfortable and look like a skirt. To look stylish in culottes, you need to know a few life hacks. The shortened trousers visually “cut off” the legs. Such a model fits perfectly on tall girls, but those who cannot boast of model growth will have to resort to tricks. To lengthen your legs, wear culottes with light colored shoes.If the dress code allows, complement the look with summer heeled sandals. Sneakers and trainers only fit long legs.

Pay attention to the width of the model: the wider the legs, the wider the hips will look. Fashionable culottes involve creating an image from straight lines. Complement the trousers with a top or a straight-cut blouse that can be worn slightly outward. A cropped jacket or coat is suitable as outerwear.

Tapered trousers

Tapered trousers are a kind of summer classic that can be combined with any top.Choose the right model based on the look you want to create. Solid colors or striped pants will add a little more rigor to your look. Models with polka dots, prints or bright colors look more light and casual.

Slim fit and high waist visually lengthen the legs and accentuate the silhouette. To feel comfortable in hot weather, wear trousers made from natural fabrics with a touch of elastane or polyester to help prevent wrinkling.The choice of shoes, as in the case of culottes, depends on your height and leg length.

High-waisted

The main advantage of the high-waisted model is visual body shaping. The legs appear longer, the waist is slimmer, the thigh line is smoother, and the belly is slightly pulled. Summer options for such trousers are often complemented by wide belts. These pants can be worn with cropped tops, tank tops or airy blouses. In order not to disturb the proportions of the body, it is not recommended to wear an oversized top.

There are several guidelines to follow depending on your body type. If you have wide hips, it is best to avoid models with pockets or other bulky elements in the upper part of your trousers. Otherwise, the hips will appear even wider. If, on the contrary, the volume of the hips needs to be visually increased, choose options with drapery on the belt and tucks. The Charuel catalog contains short and standard length models.

With arrows

Summer trousers with arrows are ideal for those who need to adhere to the classic business dress code or choose an image for a gala event.Standard pants of this model have a straight cut, and the arrows are smoothed exactly in the middle on both sides of the leg. In the classic version, the belt is located at the waist, but there may be variations with a high or low fit.

Pants with arrows can be classic length or cropped. The latter visually “cut off” the legs. To correct the violation of body proportions, you can use light-colored shoes with heels.

Perhaps the only inconvenience for shooters is some difficulty in ironing things after washing.To achieve a perfectly straight line, you need to carefully fold the legs and gently iron on both sides.

Joggers

Joggers are one of the most comfortable types of trousers. We can say that they are a more classic version of sweatpants. The image created depends on what material the joggers are made of. Cotton pants with an addition of elastane are often used as casual wear. It is appropriate to appear in them at a summer corporate party.

Joggers made of satin, viscose or silk, despite the continued sporty style, can be worn in the office or on the go. With the right top, they look very elegant and solemn. To create an evening mood, complement the joggers with a flowing top and always-on pumps with heels.

Wide leg trousers

Wide trousers came to the women’s wardrobe from the men’s. At first glance, it may seem that you are wearing a skirt.These pants look stylish on almost any figure. The look created depends on the fabric. Look for summer trousers in cotton, linen, chiffon or silk. They go perfectly with tops with straps, short-sleeved T-shirts or light, airy blouses. To create a business style, complement the look with a jacket or a jacket made of fabric of a similar texture.

90,000 how Erdogan tries to make friends with America again :: Opinion :: RBK

Kurdish issue

The two leaders confirmed that they see each other as “strategic allies”, which is based on the common interests of both countries, as well as similar positions on many issues.However, despite the commonality of Trump and Erdogan’s views on the Middle East agenda, the Kurds remain the most important stumbling block.

The fact that a few days before Erdogan’s arrival Washington announced its intention to supply weapons to the Syrian Kurds gave the talks a special piquancy. The Pentagon explained this by the fact that the Kurdish “People’s Self-Defense Groups” (YPG) are the only force “on earth” fighting the “Islamic State” (IS, an organization banned in Russia.- RBK ) in Syria.

Read on RBK Pro

The situation in which the Kurds were the only support of the Americans in the fight against IS in Syria did not develop today. Already in 2014, when IS began its active expansion in the region, the anti-terrorist coalition created at the initiative of the United States, which formally included several dozen countries, was not backed up by a real force capable of resisting jihadists “on the ground”.

Firstly, this was due to the fact that under Obama, the United States refused to directly intervene in military conflicts, preferring more indirect methods, trying to solve problems with someone else’s hands. However, there were no American allies willing to fight back the Islamists, even with the support of coalition forces from the air. Secondly, by 2014, relations between Washington and the Gulf countries were going through hard times, and after the signing of the Vienna Agreements on the Iranian nuclear program in the summer of 2015, they completely deteriorated.Having lost support from the Arabian monarchies, the United States lost the ability to rely on the Sunni Arabs in Syria, which left them no choice but to focus on the Kurds. As a result, over the past three years, the Americans have found themselves in an extremely delicate position, when both of their key allies in the Middle East, each of which is valuable to Washington in its own way, are bitter enemies to each other.

However, this does not mean at all that the Kurdish issue has no solution.As the Syrian Kurds move to the south of Syria, the share of Arab tribes in the total number of forces leading the attack on the positions of the Islamists is growing. This can be clearly seen during the operation to capture Raqqa. This is also facilitated by the establishment of the American-Arab dialogue, and, first of all, by the warming of relations between the United States and Saudi Arabia. Apparently, the share of Sunni Arabs in the total number of forces of the anti-terrorist coalition “on the ground” will continue to grow. This means that the degree of Washington’s dependence on the Kurds will gradually decrease.

True, all this will require Erdogan to be patient, which the Turkish leader does not have that much. Especially considering that in the conditions of a systemic crisis inside the country, Erdogan really needs victories, which, most likely, will have to be obtained on the external borders, and above all in Syria.

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