How the 90-second rule can change your life
How often do your feelings overtake you?
How often do emotions such as sadness, anger, fear or shame emerge, then wind up disrupting the next hour, afternoon or evening?
“Feelings are like ocean waves,” says psychologist Alyson Stone, “they rise, crest and recede, all day long.” We can all relate. But according to brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, these waves last just 90 seconds. After that, we’re simply re-stimulating our internal circuitry.
Explains Taylor: “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”
She goes on: “Something happens in the external world, and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body, it takes less than 90 seconds. This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away. After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological reaction, over and over again.”
Sarah Chauncey weighs in: “What keeps emotions lingering are the stories we tell ourselves about them … Because we humans are story-making machines, we often tend to interpret our body’s signals as emotions, when in fact, they’re just … processes, happening. They will pass – unless we attach a story to them and keep them alive.”
Chauncey cites two popular refrains, which, though playful, may help us make sense of our emotional lives:
1. Brains are Teflon for positive experiences, Velcro for negative; and
2. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Helping children manage their emotions
To help children build resilience, Fiona Forman, who recently launched a mental health educational program for 8-12 year olds, has “devised a strategy for dealing with stress and strong emotions.” She calls it N.A.B.B.: name the strong emotion, accept the strong emotion, breathe, and connect to your body as you breathe, “try to feel your breath going right down to your feet.”
How important is the 90-second rule?
“If you want to thrive in this world,” says Dr. Bryan Robinson, author and Professor Emeritus at UNC-Charlotte, “the 90-second rule offers a mindful way to override your hardwired survival reflex of reaction and cope with life’s unexpected events – no matter how dire the circumstances – in a calmer, healthier, more mature way.”
Adds Meg Coyle, Founder of One Body Inc. (she offers a free online course called “Practical Pathways to Inner Peace”): “When we allow ourselves to pause and breathe, we create space for that same 90-second emotional download Dr. Taylor discusses. …
Consider practicing the 90-second rule this week. When stress hits and you can feel yourself launching into full-on fight or flight mode, go back to the principle of the pause. Inhale. Exhale. And allow yourself to feel the tension in your body ease, without expecting yourself to respond immediately to the situation confronting you.”
The 90-Second Rule That Builds Self-Control
“To recognize that my upsets come from myself is the first step to remedying them.” —Anthony De Mello
Self-control is always available to you when you use the 90-second rule.
Source: Photo by Armin Lotfi on Unsplash
In his classic book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl wrote, “When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves… Everything can be taken from a human but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. ”
That inner freedom helped Frankl survive the Holocaust, find meaning in his personal tragedy, and empower himself. He chose his response to his circumstances instead of letting the circumstances make the choice for him. And his famous quote helped millions of people discover the gap between our circumstances and our reactions.
Building on Frankl’s astute observation, brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor, author of My Stroke Of Insight, describes our ability to regulate that neurological process that she calls the 90-second rule: “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens; any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”
We’ve all had the experience of a situation or a person setting us off. A rude comment, bad news, something breaks down, an unexpected inconvenience, and we lose our temper. It’s not because we have bad luck or life has a vendetta against us.
Why, then? When someone or something sets us off, it’s because we don’t possess the impulse control or we’re not aware of another way to respond to the upsetting situation.
No situation and nobody can make us feel or do anything. Viktor Frankl showed us that. We always have a choice to react or not. For those who claim that unleashing their ire feels good and have no intention of changing, that’s another matter. Perhaps it feels good until things get out of control, somebody gets hurt, or the damage cannot be rectified.
A preventive and more mature approach is making a U-turn and practicing the 90-second rule before the damage is done. Scientists say that constant reaction to things beyond our control not only creates misery but it also shortens our lives. Chronic reactivity creates a stressful biochemical boomerang that weakens the immune system and increases the likelihood of a heart attack or stroke.
According to Taylor, from a neurological perspective, we have the power to choose moment by moment how we want to be in the world. I sat down with her and asked her about self-regulation when the neurological circuitry of the survival brain washes over us:
“Essentially, when you look at cells in the circuitry of the brain, every reactivity is simply a group of cells performing their function. From the moment you have the thought that there’s a threat and that circuit of fear gets triggered, it will stimulate the emotional circuitry related to it, which is the fight-or-flight reaction. That will trigger a physiological dumpage of usually norepinephrine or anger into the bloodstream. It will flush through you and flush out of you in less than 90 seconds. So from the moment you think the thought that triggers that whole cascade of events to the chemical flushing out of you takes less than 90 seconds.”
Taylor offered a tip for the next time you feel triggered that helps you regulate your reaction:
“Look at the second hand on a watch. As soon as you look at it, you’re now observing yourself having this physiological response instead of engaging with it. It will take less than 90 seconds, and you will feel better. Of course, you can always go back to thinking those thoughts that restimulate the loop. There’s probably a thought somewhere in your brain of somebody who did you wrong 20 years ago. Every time you think of that person it still starts that circuit. When things are getting hot and you’re getting hot-headed, look at your watch. It takes 90 seconds to dissipate that anger response.”
Another way of translating Taylor’s rule is when you react to a situation, you make a choice to do so—an unconscious choice perhaps, or a neurological choice—but a choice nonetheless. The good news is you can learn not to let every little hiccup throw you into a tizzy—whether it’s a printer paper jam, a traffic jam, or grape jam smeared on your clean floor.
Self-Control Essential Reads
If I were to modify a message from President John F. Kennedy, I might suggest that you “Ask not what your life can do for you; ask what you can do for your life. ” It’s a matter of flipping your perspective.
If you stand in a different place and look at your life from another angle, the U-turn has the power to change your world. When I interviewed Lee Child, author of the New York Times bestselling Jack Reacher series, he told me he manages stress by flipping his perspective and subscribing to the idea that “I’m not afraid of stress; stress is afraid of me.” Taken together, your perspective and awareness of your own 90-second neurology provide choices for greater self-control.
You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die or when. But you do get to choose how you want to live in the present moment. And although it’s a powerful and awesome feeling when you make the choice, it’s not always easy to do.
Life’s curveballs will slam you at lightning speed from all angles, from time to time, throwing you off your path. The question is, “What are you going to do about it?” This is a question many of us never stop to think about. If you want to thrive in this world, the 90-second rule offers a mindful way to override your hardwired survival reflex of reaction and cope with life’s unexpected events—no matter how dire the circumstances—in a calmer, healthier, more mature way.
Facebook/LinkedIn image: Zivica Kerkez/Shutterstock
Boosting Our Emotional Intelligence: The 90 Second Rule
The focus of this month’s social media is to examine three ways to boost our emotional intelligence while managing our reactions to others. In the Ezine we looked at Mary Beth O’Neill’s four steps for reactivity management. In this Blog, we will look at Jill Bolte Taylor’s 90 Second Rule.
In her book, My Stroke of Insight, Bolte Taylor states, “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop. ”
You can’t control the quick chemical response but you can choose what happens next.
“When my brain runs loops that feel harshly judgmental, counterproductive, or out of control, I wait 90 seconds for the emotional/physiological response to dissipate & then speak to my brain. I am consciously asking my brain to stop hooking into specific thought patterns.” Jill Bolte Taylor says this is learning to listen to your brain.
She offers the 90-second rule, as a way for us to understand our reactions to threatening situations. When we are faced with a situation where we “feel” a sense of threat, as danger approaches–which can happen when someone speaks to us using a tone that appears angry or disrespectful, or when we feel overcome with anxiousness or heightened levels of nervousness or stress–our body reacts with a chemical response. In other words, at times we can have an automatic and physiological reaction to a given situation of threat that impacts our state of being, which in turns influences what we do and how we behave. However, this physiological reaction only lasts for 90 seconds or less before it has moved through our body. Whenever we stay angry or upset with someone based on our response to his or her behavior, or we let our emotions overtake us, it is a choice that we have made, says Bolte Taylor. Or, perhaps it is because of a choice we did not make, as we gave in to the emotions. One way or another, a decision is made, either automatically or after controlled thinking–let’s call it mindfulness–that keeps us from jumping to an automatic response that we later regret.
When was a time you gave yourself a 90 second pause that changed what you said or did?
Bolte Taylor, J. My stroke of insight: A brain scientist’s personal journey (2005). New York, NY: Penguin Group.
Reset Your Mind: Use The 90-Second Rule For Problem Solving
Do you know how long an emotion lives in your body? According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a leading neuroscientist, it takes an emotion 90 seconds from the time it was triggered to subside. In reality, this is usually not how things play out. Emotions can be triggered by any of the challenges we face daily – some as small as picking up dishes left behind by a partner or child, others as large as navigating a viral pandemic. In the heat of the moment, these triggers and their resulting emotions take over our brains, our behaviors, and our lives. Very often, they seem to last more than 90 seconds, maybe days, months, or even years.
In this post, we’ll explore how our emotions function using the ABC’s model of the mind and how we can hit the reset button on our minds by applying the 90-second rule to transform our emotions.
The 90 Second Rule
The 90-second rule can be attributed to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor in her best-selling book, My Stroke of Insight. Emotions are not only felt in our minds, but are also physiological responses to various stimuli, which can be internal (e.g. a thought or memory) or external (e.g. a phone ringing or a viral pandemic occurring). This is why when we are angry, for example, we feel our head throbbing, our heart rate going up, and our face heating up. Dr. Taylor explains in her book that when we simply observe the physiological sensations in the body without reacting, the emotion dissipates within 90 seconds. If we continue to feel it after 90 seconds, which generally seems to be the case, it’s because we’re choosing to ruminate and stay hooked to the thoughts. She describes it in the following way:
“Once triggered, the chemical released by my brain surges through my body and I have a physiological experience. Within 90 seconds from the initial trigger, the chemical component of my anger has completely dissipated from my blood and my automatic response is over. If, however, I remain angry after those 90 seconds have passed, then it is because I have chosen to let that circuit continue to run.”
There will be times where events will trigger stronger, longer lasting emotions such as sadness and grief, and that is normal. This 90-second rule, however, provides a useful way of looking at our experiences in many everyday situations. When we’re triggered, reminding ourselves to look at the physical nature of the emotion and how it plays out in our bodies can help us overcome the initial impulse to react. Once the intensity of the emotion passes, we can explore our experience and choose our response.
Let’s look at the 90-second rule within the context of the ABC’s of the Mind framework that I described in my last blog post.
ABCs of the Mind: A Recap
A: It all starts with activating events, which are largely out of our control – anything can happen at any time. These events can be internal or external.
B: The event then triggers our beliefs. These are also largely out of our control, as they’ve been shaped by our past experiences and they automatically come to mind in response to the event. These beliefs start a chain reaction of thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, which are all part of the 90-second automatic reactions. No matter how long you’ve been meditating, you’re going to feel different emotions triggered by different events in your life.
C: This is where choice comes in. Once we notice our automatic reactions at level B, we can choose how we want to proceed. Our default reactions include pushing (resisting what’s uncomfortable), pulling (clinging to what’s comfortable), and running in circles (rushing and being stuck in a loop). Or we can choose to be mindful by bringing awareness with other qualities of the mind that allow us to be open, kind, and balanced.
After the initial rush of chemicals induced by our emotions, we can choose to ruminate and stay stuck in our cycle of reactivity, or we can step out of that reactive loop to examine our experience. This allows us to understand the information our emotions are providing us. These emotions can inform us about our unmet needs or mental habits that don’t serve us. This clear seeing can help us disrupt the loop of reactivity and make intentional choices. This is what I call the RESET process.
The RESET Process
This process can help us calm down, explore our experiences, and find the most skillful means of responding to the situation at hand.
Relax your mind and body: Take at least 90 seconds to relax your mind and body. Meditation or a simple awareness of breath is a good option, but you can also relax your mind and body by exercising, dancing, or being in nature. Any activity that allows you to rest your thinking mind and engage your senses is calming to the limbic system (your emotional brain) and helps you prepare the mind to be receptive to new ways of thinking and seeing.
Explore your experience: Many people who practice mindfulness end their meditation and move on to their next activity. Meditation creates the right conditions in the mind and body to explore our experience further, which leads to new insights about our default patterns. In this next step, after the 90 seconds of emotions have subsided, we can look at our thoughts and patterns, our body sensations, and feelings. We do this step with kindness and non-judgmental curiosity.
See the big picture: Here, we step back to see the big picture—when we look at our thoughts, what are we noticing about our beliefs and assumptions about ourselves and others in this situation, our intentions, and others’ perspectives? In this step, we widen our lens of awareness to gather more information beyond our immediate reactions. Having an understanding of others’ perspectives and our intentions and and beliefs allows us to see patterns of behaviors and consider new possibilities.
Expand possibilities: Once we see our default patterns and align with our intentions, we can expand the possibilities available to us. Rather than going with the first outcome or solution that we already thought of, we stay open to possibilities in this step. This can open up new ways of seeing the problem and novel approaches to engaging in the challenging situation.
Take actions in alignment with your intentions: It’s not enough to have insights into our defaults and to discover solutions—we must act on them. In this last and very important step, we need to break down the solution into concrete steps that we’re going to take that are aligned with our intentions and, if possible, beneficial to all involved.
The RESET process can help us engage with our experience in a kind and creative way after the initial 90 seconds of reactivity.
Resources and Suggestions to Use the RESET Process
RESET Meditation for Clarity: When you feel stuck or face a difficult situation, check out the free RESET For Clarity meditation on my website. It will walk you through each step of the process and help you find a solution that works for you.
RESET On-The-Go: The RESET process can also be used on the go. You don’t have to do the entire meditation and can instead choose any of the steps, in any order that you find helpful. Here are a few ways to play with RESET:
- Start your morning with a RESET—instead of looking at your phone, take a few deep breaths, check in with your mind and body, and maybe set an intention for your day.
- RESET before a meeting—take a few breaths to relax your mind and body, check in with your intentions for the meeting, and walk into the meeting with good intentions for all involved.
- Waiting in line—especially when shopping during COVID-19 period, take a few breaths to check in with how you’re feeling, notice any anxiety, calm down using your breath, release any tension that you’re holding in the body, and be aware of what’s happening around you.
Free Friday Mindfulness Sessions: Join me on Fridays at noon for free mindfulness sessions to cope with Covid-19. These sessions are being offered in partnership with the Amherst Area Chamber of Commerce, the Business Improvement District, and The Mill District. No sign up necessary!
Below is the video from last Friday’s session. The practice begins at around 16:00 minutes into the video.
You can access the other meditations and insights from my free weekly mindfulness sessions for coping with the pandemic here.
Have fun with the RESET process and share your insights and questions in the comments below!
The Life-Changing 90 Second Secret.
Although we may not want to admit it we are responsible for creating all of our own emotions. Every thought that we think causes a chemical reaction and that reaction causes a physical response.
How severe this response is comes down to our perception of the situation. We carelessly repeat words in our minds that add a running dialogue to our thoughts. We then add visuals to the mix and together this creates our own unique illustrated storybook.
This storybook is then repeatedly read over and again until it causes the smallest spark in our minds to explode out of control until it significantly affects our bodies.
We have all behaved in ways that we aren’t too proud of and we have all got caught up in the moment. When we allow our emotions to temporarily overwhelm us we react impulsively, irrationally and out of character.
I first heard about 90-second emotions through Pema Chödrön when she explained that if you allow an emotion to exist for 90 seconds without judging it will disappear. Chödrön describes this feeling as “the hook” as our thoughts hook, line and sink us. Chödrön’s recommendations led me to discover brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor’s book, A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey.
Taylor describes the 90-second rule as, “Once triggered, the chemical released by my brain surges through my body and I have a physiological experience. Within 90 seconds from the initial trigger, the chemical component of my anger has completely dissipated from my blood and my automatic response is over. If, however, I remain angry after those 90 seconds have passed, then it is because I have chosen to let that circuit continue to run.”
All emotions last for less than 90 seconds, Taylor explains. If anything continues after that it is because we have added our own story and chosen to hold on to the emotion. Therefore, we are causing our emotions to escalate further and we are also ensuring they last longer. The more often we replay the memory, that is attached to a thought, or repeat one of our old painful stories, we remain caught in the cycle and it will get more and more difficult to disconnect.
According to Taylor, if we are aware that emotions take 90 seconds to surge through our systems we can simply allow them to naturally pass and flush out. If we choose to fight the emotion we will emphasize it further and then we will need to fight it again and again, and by then the emotion will then have the power to control us.
When we have awareness that all emotions initially last for 90 seconds we can allow them to ripple through us, causing a wave without any resistance; we can let them go without causing further reaction. If we allow emotions to naturally pass through us we can really look at what story we might have attached to the emotion to heighten its effects and trigger us to respond.
This process will allow us to look at why we repeat similar patterns of behavior and what exactly is causing us to escalate our emotions.
We can make a conscious choice about what to do with our emotions so that we are empowered and override an emotion when it takes a hold of us, rather than subconsciously reacting due to the red mist or rose tint that alters our perception.
It is our choice whether we master and assert self-control and patiently wait out the 90 seconds while the emotion intensifies, dissolves and then passes. Or, whether we allow it to cause an inferno in our minds so that it powerfully gains momentum until it eventually rages inside us.
To override our emotions we must first pay attention to the physical changes that take place just as the emotion is engaged. We will experience sensations, such as, our muscles tensing, an increased pulse, shortness of breath, our face flushing and our vocal cords tightening. When all of this takes place we should remain alert so that we are consciously aware that our emotions are at risk of escalating and we can remain in control as to what happens next.
At this stage if we remain calm, grounded, fully present and balanced, we can then try to remove any irrational thoughts that occur and begin to inhale and exhale deeply for around 90 seconds, thus giving the chemical surge the opportunity to pass.
As the emotions rise up it is essential to look at how we are feeling and what emotions are evoked. Remind ourselves that the moment will pass and any emotional response after that is one that we choose.
If we can name the emotions as they occur and look at how they are powerful enough to ignite a physical reaction, we will weaken the risk of them becoming further strengthened and taking control.
Then we can look with clarity at how we would normally perceive it. We can then rewire our thinking, so rather than fueling the emotion we can soothe it with kind and loving words. If we might normally berate ourselves and feel frustrated by noisily saying things like, “I’m such a fool,” we can instead show ourselves compassion by choosing caring expressions such as, “I’m constantly learning and I forgive myself.”
When we become enraged or our emotions surge and heighten we can show understanding and be compassionate to ourselves and others so that our emotions will dissipate as quickly as they began.
By paying attention and incorporating the 90 second rule into our lives we can not only take accountability for how we are behaving, we can alter the patterns of behavior we display. We can then avoid being triggered by age-old irritations that sneak up on us momentarily and grip hold of us not just for a moment or two, but recite themselves over and over so they control us for years.
Recycling pain is known in the Buddhist tradition as samsara. With a very simple concept, we can choose whether we escape the pain or whether we suffer with it for a lifetime. When we understand what lies beneath each of our emotions and we have succeeded in mastering them, we can trust ourselves entirely.
“Pay attention to what you are thinking, and then decide if those are thoughts that are creating the kind of life you want created,” she says. “And if it’s not, then change your thoughts. It’s really that easy.” ~ Jill Bolte Taylor
Jill Bolte Taylor explains more in her number one rated Ted Talk.
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Travis May
Image: Flickr/Lauren Hammond
The 90-Second Rule
“And we have complete control over our own attitude. We are the ones we decide how we feel, how we look at things, how we react.” -Catherine Pulsifer
Little Gems of Wisdom & Fun from Mary Lynn Ziemer
Feelings can be like ocean waves. They rise, crest, and recede throughout our day. But, according to brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, these waves of emotion actually only last for 90 seconds. After that, it’s up to us. Taylor explains:
“When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”
One of the most important things to remember is that YOU are in control of every situation you are in. After that initial 90-seconds, it’s your choice how you choose to view and respond to it. There’s a technique I like to call “Flipping the Switch to Joy.” And it’s amazing how powerful we can be when we learn to change an entire situation by choosing this response. It is time to feel empowered, take charge, and assume a leadership position in your own life. So, how do you start?
Then, Reframe and Refocus.
The 90-seconds of your body’s chemical response has passed. oNow you can pause, and choose what you would like to focus on. If you continue to think over and over again about something that is bothering, how can you expect a new outcome? However, when you shift your focus, or “flip the switch,” an entirely new universe of possibilities will open up for you.
Whatever you focus on is what you will get more of. When you are focusing on the most ideal outcome, you will feel empowered and strong in the knowledge of who you really are. That feels so much better. It’s in these loving feelings that the true power resides. So, to experience a state of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, you must let go of anything else and shift forward to what you really want!
Anytime you have a situation in your life that you want to change, or take to the next (fun) level, be sure to consciously give up anything that is not helping you. Let it go, surrender it up to the universe, give it away, and be persistent in this task! Sometimes a good cry, or even a good laugh, will allow you to release it!
Then, ask yourself this very important question: “What would I like the outcome of this situation to be?” Ask your intuition to show you the way with complete clarity. As you repeatedly release feelings and shift your focus from the emotion of what you have in front of you, to picturing what you truly desire, you will feel better and become calmer. You must truly leave the old emotion in the past, where it belongs. The better feeling is one of love flowing through you, and taking you to calm. That calmness is the key success factor to accomplishing what you really want. Calmness is the magical mindset.
So, what is it that you truly desire? More money? A deep, loving relationship? Improved health for yourself or someone else? That wonderful job that makes your heart sing? Fill in the blank here______. Whatever it is, know that it is all possible!
You have the incredible power to create your life, experience by experience… the way you want it to be. You can shift to what you want. You can feel the happiness, the joy, and the enthusiasm of your natural self for your life. Or, you can do the opposite. Which will it be? You cannot have both at the same time.
Only in calm can you find the Truth. Only in peace will you see the clarity of the situation.
And only in harmony will you experience your true desires.
Today, be consciously aware of how you feel and empower yourself by making the most self-loving choices. All expectations take the same amount of effort and time, so make them only positive and exciting. Put your complete focus on anticipating what you really want, in every segment of your day. Imagine whatever it is that you have in front of you going well.
Dwell on the outcome of your choice!
“I am so grateful that everything goes well for me and everyone else in my life today. I am so grateful that today is the best day of my life. I feel more love and I have more fun than ever!”
Be aware of your emotions, and practice “Flipping the Switch to Joy” as often as possible. It will soon become an amazing habit!
Have an absolutely magical week full of love, gratitude and fun, fun, FUN!
~Mary Lynn Ziemer
If this message inspired you, please share this link with a friend, colleague, client, or family member to brighten their day as well!
Need help feeling more joy today? Contact Mary Lynn for an initial Coaching session!
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The 90 Second Rule – Worldmaker International
What does using the 90 Second Rule look like? Guide your child through these 3 steps:
1. Recognize the emotional experience. This tool is useless without the recognition that some sort of emotional experience is in play. If your child struggles with this awareness of emotional experiences, encourage them to do an internal weather check. Encourage them to ask: Is my internal weather stormy, cloudy, clear, rainy, or windy? Weather indicators can happen in both the body and mind. What is going on in my body? Does my stomach feel rumbly? Does my face feel hot? Are my hands shaking? Is it getting hard to breathe? For younger children, you might consider having them mark or draw where they feel something in their body using this sheet. Second, what am I thinking? Am I wishing something would stop or someone would leave? Are my thoughts kinder or harsher than normal- to myself or others?
2. Let it be. Allow the emotion to exist. Don’t push it away. Don’t say it is bad or good. Just let it be. This can be really difficult to do! To help your child with this you might suggest that they watch the second hand tick on the clock as they count 90 seconds or focus on another strong sensory experience around them. You might also ask them to try to give the emotion they are experiencing a name. For tips on helping your child label their emotions, see our Emotion Identification resources.
3. Move on. When the 90 seconds are done, our brains and bodies and done what they need to do to process through that emotional experience. From here, it is time to move on with whatever else you were doing before. If the emotion persists, it is because thoughts are triggering the brain and body back into the same emotion cycle. Getting back to whatever you were doing before helps keep your thoughts focused on something else other than reliving the emotional experience.
How to turn on self-control: the 90-second rule
“When we are no longer able to change the situation … we are required to change ourselves,” wrote Viktor Frankl in his book A Man in Search of Meaning. A psychiatrist who had gone through the horrors of a concentration camp believed that everything could be taken away from a person except the last – the inner freedom to choose his attitude to any situation.
It was the choice of his own response to dire circumstances that helped Frankl find meaning and find strength in himself. His words gave millions of people a chance to discover the line between circumstances and our response to them.
We can control ourselves
Brain researcher, neuroanatomist Jill Taylor, author of My Stroke Was a Science to Me (Corpus, 2012), writes that humans are capable of regulating neurological processes. She calls this the “Rule of 90 Seconds”: “When a person reacts to something, there is a 90-second chemical process. And the experiences that remained after him are the personal choice of everyone to stay in this emotional cycle. ”
It happened to everyone that something or someone pissed us off.Rude commentary, bad news, sudden breakdown, unexpected inconvenience made me lose my temper. And the reason is not that life is against us or that bad luck is pursuing us, says psychotherapist Brian Robinson. What then is the reason for the breakdown?
According to Taylor and Robinson, it is that we do not have impulse control or are not familiar with any other way of responding to a situation that upset us. However, no other person or circumstance can make us feel or do anything.We always have a choice whether to react or not, and how exactly to react.
Of course, there is someone who believes that he has every right to surrender to “righteous anger”, and does not intend to change and worry about self-control. But, most likely, sooner or later, their emotions will go beyond, then someone may suffer and irreparable consequences will arise.
In addition, scientists have proven that our reactivity not only generates suffering, but also shortens life. It creates a stressful biochemical boomerang that weakens the immune system and increases the likelihood of a heart attack or stroke.
“Method of 90 seconds”, which will help you remember foreign words and never forget them again
“I myself use this method all the time, it works ironically. Sometimes it seems just magical: you can learn any expression so that it will remain in your memory forever, and spend only a minute and a half, “- describes his technology linguist and teacher Anton Brezhestovsky, who thanks to this method has already learned a dozen languages.
We at Bright Side decided to listen to the author of the “90 seconds method”.But before that, we figured out in detail what his strategy is and whether the process of learning a new language can really be so easy and interesting.
Our most common mistakes when learning a new language
Even at school we are taught to enter all new expressions into the dictionary. We record with discipline and … we never look there again. As a result, a word or phrase settles only on paper, but not in our head.
Do you think that if you go from the opposite and repeat a new expression 20-50 times, it will be remembered firmly? Alas.After a few repetitions, the brain starts to idle. A simple example: if you pour a glass of water into a flower pot, the plant will drink it to its advantage, and if a bucket of water, then the excess liquid will pour out back: the flower simply cannot drink it.
Simple and effective strategy of the “90 second method”
1. When you encounter a new word, you write it into the dictionary . But not just this word separately, but in context. For example, you shouldn’t write it like this: depend – “to depend”.It is better to write down the phrase in which you came across the word depend: It entirely depends on you – “It depends entirely on you.” So you will get a lot of valuable details (prepositions, articles, word order, etc.), and most importantly, on occasion you can immediately give out a ready-made phrase in a conversation. The word itself needs to be underlined or bold .
2. During 7 days you read this expression aloud 1-2 times. Don’t force yourself to remember it, just Concentrate on it and understand exactly what you are saying.2 readings take 10 seconds.
3. After 7 days of daily repetition, you take a weekly break , and then read the new expression 3 more times within 10 seconds. It is important to do this out loud, emotionally, clearly and fully concentrating on him.
4. After another 2 weeks, you read it again aloud (3 times within 10 seconds).
70 + 10 + 10 = 90 seconds.
With this strategy, the desired sentence is literally cemented in your memory.All this has been verified by the author of the method on his own experience.
To avoid overstrain from an excess of unfamiliar phrases, vocabulary needs to be replenished gradually: not every day, but about 3 times a week.
There will inevitably be difficult words. If the allotted time is not enough for them, you will have to use heavy artillery: focusing, clearly and emotionally repeat each phrase aloud 10-15 times and do it for 2-3 days.
Why it really works
Our memory has one interesting feature.We remember well the information that we come across about 7-9 times in different situations.
This is the number of times necessary for the neurons of the brain to form sufficiently strong connections between them. If there are fewer repetitions, the neural connections are not strong enough, and we forget the information.
Important! Keep track of repetitions
Create a special sign to know exactly how many times you have already repeated each phrase.
It may look like this: if you say an expression – put a tick (or even better – the date of repetition).Repeated for 7 days – highlighted the column in pink, repeated after 2 weeks – highlighted in yellow.
Become a Buddha at the reception of the Queen of England
When speaking the words, you only need 2 things:
1. Full concentration
During 10 seconds of repetition, full concentration on the new expression is required. You must be clear about what it means.
If, during a repetition, you suddenly catch yourself repeating mechanically, that’s okay.Just stop and go back to the part of the phrase where you lost concentration.
2. Emotionality and Involvement
When you say new phrases, imagine that you are talking with the Queen of England, eyeing George Clooney, or arguing with Carlson. The main thing is to speak emotionally and with expression. Emotions are a powerful catalyst for memorization.
The 90 Seconds Method works great. But new words will become truly “yours” only if you consciously start using them in your speech .This is one of the top secrets.
“If you don’t use it, you lose it. In the next conversation in English, deliberately use the new words, not the old vocabulary. Otherwise, it will turn out that you will collect a huge harvest of words, but you never use them. And, sad from their uselessness, they will simply rot … “
Well, are you ready to try this method? Or do you have your own way of learning a foreign language? Be sure to tell us about this in the comments to the article.
TONNY ROBBINS ABOUT MOTIVATION: 90 SECOND RULE | How to make money on the Internet
Tony Robbins is a person known to everyone who has thought about how to make money. He opened more than a dozen businesses and held more than one event for thousands of listeners. And even he has problems setting goals and achieving them. Therefore, he, like no one else, knows what and how to talk about motivation.
In this article, we will discuss the Tony Robbins Rule to help him cope with problems.
How bad thoughts affect our activities
Remember what feelings arise in a person when he makes a decision. Or when working on a project, speaking to an audience, or stealing an ancient artifact from an Indian tribe. The situations are not alike, but the emotions evoke the same.
This is apathy, stress, fear. These feelings are known to everyone. Because they arose in everyone, tortured the same everyone and poisoned the life, again, everyone. And since they are already known to mankind in its great variety, even the stupidest people have already wondered how to get rid of them.
After all, with these feelings it is difficult to achieve the goal. There is no need to talk about motivation here at all – it is absent here. And he is not going to appear, unless heroic efforts are made to this. But let’s not scare you – the solution has already been invented. You can hear about him in the video below. But if you don’t know English, don’t despair.
The meaning of Tony Robbins’ 90 second rule will be discussed further in the text.
What happens in your head when you have bad thoughts
Imagine that you have a negative thought.A drop of doubt, a pinch of self-flagellation and other nasty things that are created in the brain. Some of the readers do not even have to imagine it, because they experience it at the moment of reading.
Our brains are designed to survive, not be happy. Therefore, he does not perceive negative thoughts as dangerous, and does not filter them. Evolution was not prepared for stress to be a major cause of productivity decline. Because then you either go to kill the wolf with stress, or the tribe dies of hunger.
And in our time, negative thoughts are a spark that eventually turns into a flame and a full-fledged fire. Namely, in a state of stress, apathy, decreased productivity. Complete disgusting set, in other words.
90 SECOND RULE TONY ROBINS IS CALLED TO FIGHT IT.
According to this rule, once a negative thought appears, you only have 90 seconds to eliminate it. Because it is in those 90 seconds that this thought begins to take hold in your head.And this time should be used with benefit.
Determine the root of your problem. This is the main step in motivation questions. After all, defining a problem is a dramatic reduction in the distance to its solution. Take a look at this root, look from all sides.
Then consider whether this root of your suffering is worth it. Keep in mind that this tiny thought will poison the next day, month, year, or your whole life. One insignificant thought and colossal consequences. Just like the first landing on the moon.
Instead, learn to find such thoughts in time. Just like the security guard in Pyaterochka who noticed the theft of the Twinkie-Pinky chocolate bar. Find it, understand where it came from, and kill it. And it sounds easier than it actually is. Because not everyone is aware of when these thoughts appear.
But if you learn, and set yourself a brutal 90 second deadline, you will already be talking about motivation, not Tony Robbins.
Well, to learn more about motivation, subscribe to our channel, add the site to your bookmarks, and you will always receive on time useful information !
90 second rule – Blog Wikium
Started by Wikium
Can a person independently choose how to react to circumstances that annoy him? Scientists have conducted research and proved that physiology provides everyone with a chance to find different options for an emotional response to a particular situation.How can you turn on self-control so as not to do something stupid?
Viktor Frankl, author of the book “Man in Search of Meaning”, went through a lot in concentration camps. The psychiatrist wrote that when there is no way to change the situation, you need to start with yourself. He also believed that absolutely everything can be taken away from a person, except one. No one can decide for you how you feel about a particular situation.
Thanks to the fact that Frankl could independently choose how to react to the terrible situation in which he found himself, he found meaning and found the strength to go through all this.Due to this, today millions of people around the world can easily find the boundaries between the current situation or circumstances and their reaction to what is happening.
We can control ourselves
Jill Taylor, who studies the brain, notes that a person has every opportunity to control his neurological process. She called it the “90 second rule.” When a person begins to react to something, the chemical process takes only one and a half minutes.After that, certain experiences remain. Further, the person must independently decide whether to remain in a similar state or not.
Everyone has been thrown off balance at least once. It could be something serious or an insignificant trifle. The person does not hold back and begins to pour out negative on others, even if they have absolutely nothing to do with what is happening. What is the main reason for the failure?
It’s pretty simple.Not all people fully possess impulse control and do not know anything about how to react differently to this or that situation. At the same time, it is worth remembering that no one and nothing can make us feel certain emotions or do something. We always have a choice, to react to what is happening or not, and how exactly it is better to do it.
Rule 90 seconds
The most correct solution for many people will be to use a specially developed rule.It must be applied until the moment when the negative is thrown out or some kind of damage to property or a person is caused. At any time, a person can independently choose what he wants to be. This is quite possible, but some effort needs to be made.
If we consider the situation from a physiological point of view, then a dose of norepinephrine, the hormone of anger, is released into the bloodstream. It passes through the human bloodstream and is flushed out of the body after 90 seconds. Therefore, when a person begins to feel that he is reacting to a stimulus, then it is worth noticing one and a half minutes and at this time nothing to do or take.After 90 seconds, the person will begin to feel much better and will be able to make adequate decisions.
At the first signs of anger and anger, you need to immediately catch the time and wait a minute and a half in order to begin to control yourself. And also to develop the ability to manage your emotions will help the course “Emotional Intelligence”.
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90,000 a simple rule to help you pull yourself together – ilex
Everyone has encountered a situation where you are about to explode.And you explode, of course, sweeping away everything in your path with righteous anger. At such moments it is difficult to control oneself: an avalanche of emotions captures, plunging more and more into the jungle of sensual irritation. However, scientists believe that even in such circumstances, self-control can be turned on. How to do it?
Victor Frankl Opened
Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl took his own experience as a basis for his research. In 1942, the scientist ended up in a Nazi concentration camp, where a key meeting in his life and career took place.Dr. Karl Fleischmann, who worked in the camp, learned that Frankl was a psychiatrist before his imprisonment, and instructed him to create an organization that would help newly arrived prisoners adapt to the new (terrifying) conditions. Then the scientist came to the main thesis of his books: if a person cannot change a situation, he must change himself, his attitude towards it. The key to change, Frankl said, was faith in the meaning of his life. Perhaps this is what helped the scientist survive: his mother, father and wife died in a concentration camp.
Conclusions Jill Taylor
Frank’s discovery influenced all further work in the field of neurology and psychiatry.
American scientist, neuroanatomist Jill Taylor came to the conclusion that a person, even on the verge of a breakdown, can regulate his neurological processes. This conclusion is called the “Rule of 90 seconds”. Why 90? Because that is how long it takes to start a chemical process, which is a response to a strong stimulus.A person cannot change these 90 seconds. But everything after them is in our power. If we explode or, on the contrary, retreat and try to calm down – this is our personal choice.
If we failed to keep control and exploded, neither circumstances nor other people are to blame. There is only one culprit – only ourselves. Only we decide whether we will give a reaction to a given situation and what it will be.
But here a contradiction arises, because scientists are actively preaching that negative emotions must be given a way out, otherwise they will undermine health.This, of course, is correct, but keep in mind that there is anger of such strength that it harms the person himself, those around him. In addition, too violent a reaction makes a person suffer. And, by the way, it shortens life, undermining the immune system, creating favorable conditions for the development of strokes and heart attacks. By the way, Jill Taylor like no one else can talk about this, because at the age of 37 she suffered a massive stroke and devoted her whole life to studying this topic.
How does the rule work?
The 90 second rule must be applied before we hurt ourselves or anyone.The logic is simple: we wait for only one and a half minutes, and then by an effort of will we “instruct” ourselves on the path of calming down, refusing to react.
This is easily explained scientifically. When a person is scared, he feels danger, a certain group of brain cells is activated, causing an emotional response “fight or flight.” As a result, the hormone norepinephrine, called the anger hormone, is released into the bloodstream. It is washed out of the blood in 90 seconds, which means that after this time we can make an informed decision to give up anger.
For beginners, experts recommend looking at the hand of a watch when they feel they are already on the edge. After a measured “tick” for 90 seconds, it will feel better.
Psychotherapist Brian Robinson argues that such an effort will not be in vain. Of course, it is difficult to develop the ability to look at the situation from a different angle, to say “stop” to yourself, but it is incredibly useful: under any circumstances you can maintain your composure. Robinson speaks about this in a short phrase: “I’m not afraid of stress – let stress fear me.”
What is the bottom line?
Unfortunately, we cannot choose what circumstances will be around and what people will be next to us (family, colleagues, others). But we can always choose how to react to this. The quality of our own life is at stake. Whether we live or be constantly annoyed depends only on us.
90,000 Energizing 90 Seconds All Day – Woman Delice
On average, in our entire life we spend almost 4000 hours in the shower (some less, some more, but on average, this is exactly how much).The morning shower is the most common hygienic habit in Western civilization, it helps us wake up and recover from a night’s sleep.
At least that’s what is commonly believed. But does a hot shower really energize and help shake off any remaining sleep? And if so, why, after a shower, do we urgently need our large mug of strong coffee?
It really depends on how you shower in the morning. Rather, the temperature of the water.If you paid attention, while taking a hot shower, we often fall asleep again – this is due to the fact that hot water relaxes, instead of invigorating.
That is why a hot bath and a shower before bedtime are often recommended as ways to combat insomnia: high temperature expands capillaries, oxygen supply to the brain improves, nervousness goes away, and it is easier for the body to switch to sleep mode.
But how to switch back from this mode in the morning is a completely different question!
90 seconds that change everything
In fact, it is not a hot shower that will truly invigorate and energize, but contrasting shower.And although I am not telling you the great news right now, and you probably know both about cold douches and the benefits of a cold shower, the “90 seconds” technique still has its own characteristics.
The principle of operation is simple: a threefold temperature shock makes the body quickly rebuild into a new regime, which completely removes the remnants of drowsiness. Your body is forced to turn on all mechanisms to adapt to a threefold change in temperature, and one and a half minutes is enough to completely return to wakefulness.
Having finished your hygiene procedures, turn the temperature regulator towards the cold water as far as it will go and count to 30 until cold water brings you to your senses.
After that, return hot water and again count to 30, you will feel the temperature shock recede, but give up early: after counting, turn on cold water again and count to 30 again!
After that, turn off the water and rub yourself with a towel (preferably hard) – I promise, you will feel a surge of energy immediately.And by the way, after a contrast shower, you do not feel an uncomfortable temperature drop, as happens when you get out of a hot shower and you immediately feel cold (the air temperature in the bathroom is always lower than the temperature of the hot shower water).
Apply skin care products, wrap yourself in your favorite bathrobe and go to prepare a delicious breakfast!
How it works
The difference in temperature changes makes the body quickly rebuild and turn on adaptive mechanisms.Cold water quickly removes heat from the body, and in order to compensate for this, the body starts a mechanism for accelerating the burning of calories.
The reverse temperature difference causes the capillaries to expand again, which improves blood circulation and oxygen supply to the brain. The last temperature drop finally awakens, returning all body systems to 100% working condition.
Contrast shower improves immunity (increases the number of white blood cells), increases efficiency, improves concentration, memory and, by the way, increases skin turgor.
The main thing is to gain strength and turn on the cold water in order to meet the new day with a smile and a reserve of energy until the evening!
90,000 A neurologist came up with a 90 second rule that will save you from bad emotions
Recently, more and more annoying factors, stress, fears and problems have appeared around us. It is not easy to cope with them sometimes even for a strong-willed person. What can we say about those who take any situation to heart? But it turns out that you can make sure that the impact on the body of negative information was minimal.For this, the “rule of 90 seconds” was formulated.
Problems should not “break” a person
Neurologist Viktor Frankl wrote in his book “Man in Search of Meaning”: “When we can no longer change the situation, all that remains is to change ourselves”. This inner freedom helped him survive his imprisonment in a concentration camp and find meaning in his tragedy in order to become stronger. Instead of letting the circumstances decide for him, he decided to change his response to them.
Based on her theories, neuroscientist and author of My Stroke Was A Science To Me, Jill Bolty Taylor described our ability to regulate this neurological process.She gave it the name – “Rule of 90 seconds”. “When a person has a reaction to something in his environment, the chemical process lasts exactly 90 seconds. During this time, a person decides whether to stay in this emotional cycle or leave it, ”explained Jill.
The essence of the technique 90 seconds
Nervous triggers are different for everyone and depend on the nature. For example, rude comments, bad news, childish disobedience, problems at work – all of this often pisses us off. This does not mean that we are unlucky, but these things happen every day.And we get annoyed because we have no control, we don’t know any other way to react to an alarming situation.
What needs to be done? It is extremely important to calmly wait until these 90 seconds have passed, and the emotions from the information received subside.