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It’s better not to do these 10 things in someone else’s house if you don’t want to bring the hosts to a boiling point / Bright Side
It’s nice to visit, but if you are invited, don’t forget about the rules of behavior in someone else’s home. There is nothing complicated about them. However, some people neglect them, especially when visiting friends or relatives – they say, they are still their own, why be modest here. But even the most polite hosts may not like the fact that guests behave too relaxedly. Here is a list of mistakes that can inadvertently ruin a good relationship. And at the end of the article you will find a bonus – stories about strange guests.
Explore the apartment yourself
© pch.vector / Freepik
No matter how great the temptation to look into all the interesting corners of the house, you do not need to do it yourself. In particular, you should not look into the bedrooms without the permission of the owners. Wait until they want to take a mini-tour of their apartment. Without them, guests, according to etiquette, can only visit the bathroom.
Putting on the slippers of the owners
Even if the owners themselves offer you to put on their shoes, you should not do this, if only for hygiene reasons. Bring a change of slippers or socks with you in advance. Also, do not walk around someone else’s house in street shoes, soiling the floor and carpets.
Bringing someone else with you without asking permission
© bearfotos / Freepik
Don’t bring someone else with you (even if it’s a spouse or child) without first asking. As in the case of an invitation to a gala event, a sudden guest can put the hosts in an awkward position, forcing them to incur additional expenses for refreshments.
Hide that you have dirty or broken something
© freepik / Freepik
The desire not to spoil the impression of oneself may cause a desire not to talk about the fact that you ruined some thing: spilled coffee on a sofa or broke a valuable thing. But still, it would be polite and fair to tell the owners about the incident, help clean up the mess and compensate for the damage.
Adjust the temperature in the room
© freepik / Freepik, © peoplecreations / Freepik
It happens that the temperature in the apartment makes guests uncomfortable. If you are too cold or, conversely, too hot, you should not take the remote control from the air conditioner without the permission of the owner. Instead, politely ask for a blanket or sit closer to the air conditioner or an open window.
Touching things
©freepik / Freepik
Opening cupboard or refrigerator doors, touching homeowners’ things is an invasion of privacy. Even if it seems that there is nothing special about it, it is better to refrain from such a manifestation of curiosity. If you want to take a magazine from a table or a book from a shelf, etiquette experts advise you to ask permission.
Ask for Wi-Fi password
© freepik / Freepik, © freepik / Freepik
Guests are invited to chat, so picking up the phone is impolite. Even in the case when you need to devote time to work, you need to wait a bit and chat with the owners, and only then be distracted by the Internet.
Use the last toilet paper
In addition to asking the owners of the house what kind of towel you can use to dry your hands in the bathroom, you should check the amount of toilet paper. If it is running out, delicately warn the owners about this, otherwise you may embarrass someone who needs a bathroom after you.
Feed someone else’s pet
Animals are not averse to begging something delicious from a guest, and not everyone can resist the gaze of charming dog or cat eyes. But feeding your pet with pieces of food from the table is not a good idea. The owners feed their pets as needed, pets can be on a special diet, and human food can harm them.
Refuse treats
© freepik / Freepik
Many people are proud of their culinary skills, and the hosts are especially trying for guests. Therefore, it is tactless to refuse any food, even if you do not like some dishes or ingredients. It’s best to try a little of everything and express your admiration. If you have an allergy or intolerance to certain types of foods, it is better to find out about the menu in advance.
Bonus: stories about rude guests
- We rented a room with a friend. Once her distant acquaintance with the girl was passing through and asked to spend the night. There was nowhere to sleep, but they said they would sit in the kitchen. At first they got lost, and we had to meet them at 11 pm. On the way, they went to the store for half an hour, bought food only for themselves. Then the acquaintance decided that he had the right to take a bath with foam in a strange apartment and use our washcloths and cosmetics. If they wanted to sleep, they somehow laid blankets for them. In the morning they occupied the bathroom for a long time, although we were late for work. And six months later he writes: “I’m coming, are you at home? And then I have nowhere to stay.” © SuperTOLSTYAK / Pikabu
- My girlfriend’s friend is a vegan. Once she came to visit us for a few days. It was difficult to cook for her, but we tried. We did not see any gratitude. Vice versa! We return home one day, and she threw out all our sweaters and wool jackets. For some reason, she decided that we also want to become vegans and tried to help us. We didn’t talk to her anymore. © FluffyMonster / Pikabu
- My brother’s friend clogged the toilet. Water poured onto the floor, and then he grabbed a bunch of grandmother’s blankets and used them to wet the water. The water kept pouring out, and he started shaking the toilet so violently that he broke it. Since then, brother’s friends have been forbidden to come to us. © F0000r / Reddit
- My wife invited a friend to dinner with us. We were chatting and at one point she tried to hug my 7 year old son. He didn’t want to hug. I said that he had a bad day at school and was not in the mood. And then she gives out: “Are you going to let him disobey?” I replied that the son has the right to say “no” if someone violates his boundaries. She laughed, “He’s lucky he’s not my son, I would have stopped that quickly.” I told my son to go to my room and asked her to leave. My child is not a pet. © Potential_Beach6748 / Reddit
Tactless guests are a real test for hosts, so don’t forget that “make yourself at home” is just a polite figure of speech. Unforgettable parties and great guests!
Bright Side/Culture/These 10 things are better not to do in someone else’s house, if you don’t want to bring the owners to a boiling point
there is nothing left of the floor, except for the part where my bed was
I opened my eyes and I see that there is no apartment, no walls, nothing… Everything is destroyed, wires, fire, dust
– Christina, where were you and with whom when your apartment was destroyed?
– My friend Kristina was with me. She lost everything in Mariupol and moved to Cherkassy. She left in March 2022, when there was no communication, no water, nothing. Therefore, when the corridor opened, she was able to break through to Zaporozhye. Just the day before, she arrived in Kyiv. At first she was not going to stay with me, but I persuaded her to spend the evening together.
We were sleeping, we didn’t hear the siren, we didn’t hear the arrival… We woke up at the moment when we were overwhelmed. I remember, I opened my eyes and I see that there is no apartment, no walls, nothing … Everything is destroyed, wires, fire, dust hang. Girlfriend was overwhelmed, trying to get out of bed. I started to move something heavy, she was able to get out, and then I followed her. When we made our way through the rubble, I got stuck with my foot … I was already suffocating from the smoke. But my friend screamed, called, and so helped me not to give up. At that moment, you don’t understand where you are going, you don’t orient yourself. Later, when the fire was put out and I went into the apartment, I realized that I was getting out through the neighboring apartment. If not for Christina, I would not have been able to get out. I had a panic, her voice helped me cope. I, in fact, crawled out to the voice of Christina.
Kamburova’s apartment after being hit by rocket fragments. Photo from the personal archive of Kamburova
I see that there is a small piece of the parapet of the common balcony where the fire escape is. She stands there, holding on to the wires and pulling my hand, I somehow got out on this parapet, we sat down and were able to catch our breath a little. When people had already begun to descend the stairs, we also crawled out there. It was scary – the fire escape was partially destroyed.
We went downstairs. We were in the same shorts – summer, heat. Something began to fall from above … Debris, fragments, panic began, people began to scream at the top. We ran into the third front door (this is nearby, we lived in the fifth), and there the concierge gave us water to drink. People are flickering, everyone is running somewhere … Two girls brought us shoes and covered ourselves with something, because we were undressed.
– Did you receive medical assistance?
– We were all covered in blood and did not understand whether there were injuries or not. So we went to the ambulance. Thank God, they escaped with burns and bruises, there were dislocations, but the arms and legs were intact. I was then in a state of shock and refused to go to the hospital.
I was inside the yard. From there you can’t see that my apartment burned down. At times like this, you don’t really understand what’s going on. I thought… I was sure that everyone would be rescued and I would be able to get into the apartment and take some of my things, pick up the documents. When the fire was extinguished, I went up to the apartment and only then realized that there was nothing there, nothing was left of the floor, except for the part where my bed was. Only this part survived, the rest was destroyed and completely burned out.
When I went up to the apartment, there were still lifeguards there. I say: let’s look at least something. And they say to me: “Baby, there’s nothing left.” And in the dialogue they learned that I was here with a friend and that we both got out. They were very surprised and said: “It is unlikely that anyone could get out and survive here. This is a miracle! We are sincerely happy for you. ”
Kamburova’s apartment on the 18th floor is completely destroyed. Photo from Kamburova’s personal archive
– How many apartments were on the floor?
– Arrival was on the 18th floor. The news says that the 16th, it’s not. There are five apartments on the floor, and they are all destroyed. And all my neighbors on the floor, who were then at home, died. The wreckage flew just to the place where my neighbor Pavel lived. He died. The girl next door also died. And next to me in the apartment lived a girl. She was generally thrown out of the territory of the complex … Only in one apartment, the neighbors left a long time ago, they survived. And we… So it’s a miracle that Christina and I made it out of there alive. I wouldn’t want to experience this again.
How many years have we been unable to return to Donetsk. We have already lost one house and did not want to lose again
– Did you receive any help?
– Only friends and acquaintances helped us, the parents of my son’s classmates were very supportive. Nobody moved us anywhere. I placed myself with acquaintances, friends, relatives. While we roam. We have lost everything, and we need money, blankets, pillows, spoons and forks to rent housing in order to move somewhere with the child and live on. Nobody helped. All by yourself.
I was left without communication, without documents, without funds. First of all, I restored the phone number, went to “Diya”, tried to leave a request, but nothing came of it. I was amazed that the state cannot even restore our documents for free – you have to pay for everything, but what about a person who has nothing left? I’ve got everything on fire. To restore a SIM card, bank cards, you need documents, in order to get them, you need to take money from somewhere … It hurt me a lot. We are supposed to receive assistance in the amount of UAH 6,000, but in order to receive it, some time must pass and we need to restore the documents. I have already restored my passport and international passport, birth certificate, driver’s license, car documents and everything else. But all by herself, at her own expense.
– Do you already have any information about what will happen to your house?
– Not yet. There was a rumor that they would restore, but this is not certain. We have not seen the results of the commission’s work and no decisions from the authorities.
– How did your loved ones, husband and son, survive this event?
– Thank God, my son and dad were away. They were not at home when the rocket fragments destroyed our apartment. I’m extremely happy about this. Better not to know all this horror. Of course, the child was scared, worried very much. He is 10 years old. We met in the evening, and he saw me beaten with shrapnel and burnt. I explained everything. He is a smart boy, he understands that all his things have also burned down. He was glad when they gave him some T-shirts and shorts. I try not to get hung up, I accept the situation that it won’t be the same as before, but it will be somehow different. Papers and things will be restored, the main thing is to put yourself in order.
– You are from Donetsk. Do you have someone left in the occupation?
– With my husband and son, we moved to Kyiv just a couple of months before the start of the war. Then all the other relatives left, some settled in the west of Ukraine, some even went abroad. I only have a godmother left in Donetsk, but we do not maintain relations. Our house remained there, but due to the Russian occupation, we cannot go there.
– How has your life changed since the start of the full-scale Russian invasion?
– Work and business – everything stopped. After February 24, 2022, we were already thinking about how to survive and ensure our safety. Many people left our complex. Those who remained united. We ourselves patrolled the complex, bought water, medicines, protective equipment. When there were battles for Kyiv, we went down to the underground parking, closed everything and were there.