What makes St. Michael’s Academy stand out among Catholic schools in Springfield, MA. How does the school provide a well-rounded education for students from preschool through 8th grade. What are the key aspects of St. Michael’s curriculum, extracurricular activities, and faith-based approach.
St. Michael’s Academy: A Beacon of Catholic Education in Springfield
St. Michael’s Academy holds a distinguished position as the largest Catholic elementary school in western Massachusetts. Located in Springfield, this esteemed institution offers a comprehensive educational experience for students from preschool through eighth grade. The school’s commitment to academic excellence, spiritual growth, and character development has made it a cornerstone of the community for generations.
A Diverse and Inclusive Learning Environment
One of the hallmarks of St. Michael’s Academy is its culturally diverse student body. The school welcomes families from various religious and economic backgrounds, fostering an atmosphere of inclusivity and mutual respect. This diversity enriches the educational experience, exposing students to different perspectives and traditions.
How does St. Michael’s Academy promote cultural understanding among its students? The school encourages families to share their customs and traditions, creating a vibrant tapestry of cultural exchange. This approach not only broadens students’ horizons but also prepares them for success in an increasingly interconnected world.
Academic Excellence and Holistic Development
St. Michael’s Academy prides itself on providing a well-rounded education that addresses the “whole” student. The curriculum is designed to challenge and inspire learners at every level, from the youngest preschoolers to eighth-grade students preparing for high school.
Key Features of the Academic Program:
- Rigorous core subjects (Math, Science, Language Arts, Social Studies)
- Integration of technology across the curriculum
- Emphasis on critical thinking and problem-solving skills
- Individualized attention and support for diverse learning needs
- Opportunities for advanced coursework and academic enrichment
Beyond academics, St. Michael’s Academy places a strong emphasis on character development and life skills. How does the school cultivate these essential qualities? Through a combination of structured programs, extracurricular activities, and community service initiatives, students learn valuable lessons in leadership, responsibility, and ethical decision-making.
Faith Formation: The Cornerstone of St. Michael’s Education
As a Catholic school, St. Michael’s Academy places faith formation at the center of its educational mission. The school’s religious curriculum is designed to nurture students’ spiritual growth and deepen their understanding of Catholic teachings.
Elements of Faith Formation at St. Michael’s:
- Daily prayer and reflection
- Regular Mass attendance and sacramental preparation
- Religious education classes tailored to each grade level
- Service learning projects that put faith into action
- Opportunities for spiritual retreats and faith-based extracurricular activities
How does St. Michael’s approach to faith formation impact students’ overall development? By integrating spiritual growth with academic learning, the school helps students develop a strong moral compass and a sense of purpose that extends far beyond the classroom.
Dedicated Faculty and Collaborative Approach
The success of St. Michael’s Academy can be largely attributed to its dedicated and experienced faculty. These educators form a crucial partnership with parents, working together to support each student’s growth and achievement.
What sets St. Michael’s teachers apart? Their commitment to ongoing professional development, their passion for Catholic education, and their ability to create a nurturing and challenging learning environment. The school’s low student-to-teacher ratio ensures that each child receives personalized attention and support.
Extracurricular Activities and Athletics
St. Michael’s Academy recognizes the importance of a well-rounded education that extends beyond the classroom. The school offers a wide range of extracurricular activities and athletic programs to help students discover and develop their talents.
Popular Extracurricular Offerings:
- Student Council and Leadership Programs
- Choir and Music Ensembles
- Art Club and Drama Productions
- STEM Clubs (Robotics, Coding, etc.)
- Community Service Organizations
In terms of athletics, St. Michael’s Academy participates in interscholastic competitions in basketball and soccer. These programs not only promote physical fitness but also teach valuable lessons in teamwork, sportsmanship, and perseverance.
Affordability and Accessibility
St. Michael’s Academy is committed to making quality Catholic education accessible to as many families as possible. The school’s tuition rates are among the most competitive in the region, with an annual cost of approximately $4,700 for private students.
How does St. Michael’s maintain its affordability without compromising on quality? Through careful financial management, fundraising efforts, and the support of the local Catholic community, the school is able to offer an exceptional education at a fraction of the cost of many private institutions.
Financial Aid and Scholarships:
To further increase accessibility, St. Michael’s Academy offers various financial aid options and scholarships for qualifying families. These programs help ensure that a St. Michael’s education remains within reach for students from diverse economic backgrounds.
Admissions Process and High Acceptance Rate
St. Michael’s Academy maintains an open and inclusive admissions policy, reflected in its high acceptance rate of 97%. This figure, which surpasses the national average of 71%, demonstrates the school’s commitment to providing educational opportunities to a broad range of students.
What is the application process for St. Michael’s Academy? Prospective families are encouraged to submit their applications by October 1st for the following academic year. The process typically involves:
- Completing an online application form
- Submitting academic records and teacher recommendations
- Attending a family interview
- Participating in a student assessment (for certain grade levels)
While the acceptance rate is high, St. Michael’s Academy maintains rigorous academic standards and expectations for student conduct. The school seeks students who will thrive in its challenging and supportive environment, contributing positively to the school community.
Preparing Students for Future Success
A St. Michael’s Academy education extends far beyond the elementary and middle school years. The school takes pride in preparing its students for success in high school, college, and beyond.
How does St. Michael’s Academy ensure its graduates are well-prepared for the next stage of their education? Through a combination of rigorous academics, character development, and real-world learning experiences, students develop the skills and confidence needed to excel in any setting.
Key Elements of St. Michael’s Preparatory Approach:
- Advanced coursework options for high-achieving students
- Study skills and time management instruction
- High school placement counseling and support
- Leadership development opportunities
- Exposure to diverse career paths through guest speakers and field trips
Many St. Michael’s Academy graduates go on to attend prestigious high schools and universities, a testament to the solid foundation they receive during their time at the school.
Community Engagement and Service Learning
St. Michael’s Academy places a strong emphasis on community engagement and service learning, instilling in students a sense of social responsibility and civic awareness. These initiatives not only benefit the local community but also help students develop empathy, leadership skills, and a broader perspective on social issues.
Examples of Service Learning Projects:
- Food drives for local food banks
- Environmental clean-up initiatives
- Tutoring and mentoring programs for younger students
- Fundraising for local and global charities
- Visits to nursing homes and senior centers
How do these service learning experiences impact students’ personal growth? By engaging in meaningful service projects, students develop a deeper understanding of social issues, learn to work collaboratively, and discover the joy of making a positive difference in their community.
Technology Integration and 21st Century Skills
In today’s rapidly evolving digital landscape, St. Michael’s Academy recognizes the importance of equipping students with essential technology skills. The school has made significant investments in its technology infrastructure and curriculum to ensure students are prepared for the challenges of the 21st century.
Key Aspects of Technology Integration at St. Michael’s:
- 1:1 device program for middle school students
- Smart boards and interactive displays in classrooms
- Coding and computer science instruction
- Digital citizenship and online safety education
- Integration of educational software and online learning platforms
How does St. Michael’s balance technology use with traditional learning methods? The school takes a thoughtful approach, leveraging technology to enhance instruction while still emphasizing fundamental skills like critical thinking, communication, and hands-on learning.
Parent Involvement and School Community
St. Michael’s Academy recognizes that parents are essential partners in their children’s education. The school fosters a strong sense of community by encouraging parent involvement and providing numerous opportunities for families to engage with the school.
Ways Parents Can Get Involved:
- Parent-Teacher Association (PTA) membership
- Volunteer opportunities in classrooms and school events
- Attendance at parent education workshops and seminars
- Participation in fundraising initiatives
- Serving on school committees and advisory boards
What benefits does strong parent involvement bring to the St. Michael’s community? This collaborative approach strengthens the school-home connection, enhances student support, and creates a vibrant, engaged school community that benefits all stakeholders.
Facilities and Resources
St. Michael’s Academy boasts modern facilities and resources that support its comprehensive educational program. The school’s campus provides a safe, nurturing environment conducive to learning and personal growth.
Key Features of St. Michael’s Facilities:
- Well-equipped classrooms with state-of-the-art technology
- Science laboratory for hands-on experiments and exploration
- Library and media center with extensive print and digital resources
- Art studio and music room for creative expression
- Gymnasium and outdoor athletic facilities
- Chapel for spiritual reflection and worship
How do these facilities enhance the educational experience at St. Michael’s? By providing students with access to high-quality resources and specialized learning spaces, the school creates an environment that fosters curiosity, creativity, and academic excellence.
Alumni Network and Ongoing Support
The St. Michael’s Academy experience doesn’t end at graduation. The school maintains strong connections with its alumni, fostering a network of support that extends well beyond the elementary and middle school years.
Benefits of the St. Michael’s Alumni Network:
- Mentorship opportunities for current students
- Alumni speaker series and career guidance programs
- Networking events and reunions
- Opportunities to give back through volunteering and donations
- Ongoing spiritual and community support
How does the alumni network contribute to the school’s success? By maintaining strong ties with graduates, St. Michael’s Academy creates a cycle of support and engagement that strengthens the school community and provides valuable resources for current and future students.
Accreditation and Recognition
St. Michael’s Academy maintains the highest standards of educational quality, as evidenced by its accreditation and recognition from respected educational organizations.
Key Accreditations and Memberships:
- New England Association of Schools and Colleges (NEASC)
- National Catholic Educational Association (NCEA)
- Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
What do these accreditations mean for St. Michael’s students and families? They provide assurance that the school meets rigorous standards of academic excellence, continuous improvement, and ethical practices. This commitment to quality ensures that St. Michael’s Academy remains at the forefront of Catholic education in western Massachusetts.
In conclusion, St. Michael’s Academy offers a comprehensive, faith-based education that prepares students for success in high school, college, and beyond. With its diverse and inclusive community, dedicated faculty, and commitment to academic excellence and spiritual growth, St. Michael’s continues to be a beacon of Catholic education in Springfield, Massachusetts.
St. Michaels Academy (2023 Profile)
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Top Rankings
St. Michaels Academy ranks among the top 20% of private schools in Massachusetts for:
Category
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Least expensive tuition
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Largest student body
School Overview
Student Body
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School Notes
- St. Michael`s Academy is the largest Catholic elementary school
in western Massachusetts and provides a well-rounded educational
experience that addresses the “whole” student, from preschoolers
through eighth grade.
The culturally diverse student population
represents families from a variety of religious and economic
backgrounds who are encouraged to share their traditions and
customs. The school philosophy is one of inclusion; every child is
deserving of a high quality education in a safe and caring
environment. Our dedicated staff form a partnership with parents to
challenge each student to be the best they can be, both spiritually
and academically. These lessons extend beyond the classroom and
result in the development of strong morals, respect for themselves
and others and the value of community service. Most importantly,
faith formation is the cornerstone of St. Michael`s Academy and
supports the development of character, integrity and success. A St.
Michael’s Academy student graduates with a solid foundation for
future sucess both academically and in life.
Source: Verified school update
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Frequently Asked Questions
How much does St. Michaels Academy cost?
St.
Michaels Academy’s tuition is approximately $4,700 for private students.
What is the acceptance rate of St. Michaels Academy?
The acceptance rate of St. Michaels Academy is 97%, which is higher than the national average of 71%.
What sports does St. Michaels Academy offer?
St. Michaels Academy offers 2 interscholastic sports: Basketball and Soccer.
What is St. Michaels Academy’s ranking?
St. Michaels Academy ranks among the top 20% of private schools in Massachusetts for: Least expensive tuition and Largest student body.
When is the application deadline for St. Michaels Academy?
The application deadline for St. Michaels Academy is Oct. 1.
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The average private school tuition in Hampden County, MA is $20,024 for elementary schools (read more about average private school tuition across the country).
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St Michaels Academy Springfield MA
Contact St Michaels Academy
Address: 153 Eddywood St, 01118 Springfield (Massachusetts)
Phone: (413) 782-5246
See other schools in Springfield
Student demographics
Diversity in schools is important and will benefit the students.
Find out the student demographics in St Michaels Academy:
| Race | Number | Percentage |
|---|---|---|
| African American Students | 84 | 18 |
| Asian Students | 43 | 9 |
| Hispanic Students | 76 | 16 |
| Native American Students | 0 | 0 |
| Pacific Islander Students | 1 | 0 |
| White Students | 204 | 43 |
| Multi-racial Students | 14 | 3 |
| Unspecified Students | 0 | 0 |
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SWAT van, Eddie and Lou. Unusual suspects. Severe measures. Arrest Fat Tony Simpsons Springfield
Go to 33 level ! Never before has a game been so captivating!
Bad Cops P.1
Serpent : I will by all means bypass the museum’s burglar alarm, deceive the armed guards and steal the famous Star of Ogdenville!
But first I need caffeine and a lot of fatty foods to fuel myself before this theft of the century!
Reference: Make the Snake Rob a Quickie Store (60 minutes, $70, 17XP ).
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Bad Cops P.2
Apu : Chief Wiggum, my store is under attack again! What are you going to do?
Wiggum : I don’t care about the past, Apu. I’m worried about the future.
And I see myself getting that box of donuts and free pineapple squishy in the future.
Apu : This is unacceptable! Criminals calmly walk around the city, and the police do not even blow their heads.
I’ll call reporter Kent Brockman and have him debunk it!
Wiggum : What other revelation?
Apu : Scandalous!
Wiggum : *shudders* No need for that! I’ll send out patrols.
I’ll even return the SWAT van… which I borrowed to take my gym equipment to the dump.
Reference: Place SWAT police van (increases the rating of Righteousness ).
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
We have unlocked two police officers – Lou and Eddie .
Bad Cops P3
Wiggum : Eddie and Lou, it’s good to have you back.
Everyone complains about police irresponsibility, so we need to create some kind of semblance of action.
Eddie : Is it like Avenue Kew?
Wiggum : No, club.
Then I don’t want to go on patrol if no one sees me doing it.
Then I will determine the mandatory training schedule.
Then the townspeople will have something to look at… and that something will be Eddie coughing up his insides.
Where will we find so much money for quality dolls? Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Bad Cops P.4
Wiggum : Bad news. Wiggum hopped on his Let’s-Catch-The-Criminals armored car.
He needs more substantial results than Eddie getting into his own pants after all this exercise.
Lou : How about we go through the capercaillie and arrest the one who really needs to be arrested?
Wiggum : Um, the word “grouse” makes you think of something cool…
Lou, take the materials. Well, Eddie, let’s see if we can fit you into size 48 pants.
like a milkshake. Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Bad Cops P.5
Eddie : Chief, I’ve been informed here – local farmers are complaining that Cletus is driving fusel.
Wiggum : Well, peasants like to complain. They ride like cheese in butter, but they still complain, complain, complain.
Lou : Maybe we should talk to Cletus in person and check everything.
Wiggum : Hmm, okay. Being a police officer is exactly what I hate the most about this job.
Quest: Make Cletus go for interrogation (8hrs, $275, 70XP ).
Lou : Well, chief, did you get any information from Cletus about the fuselage?
Wiggum : Everyone is fine! I brought a couple of jugs of this thing to make sure Clettus didn’t no no sell it.
He’s sorry we won’t stir up the stomach.
Lou : But boss!
Wiggum : Help get them inside. The ground is shaking under my feet. And I think I… yes! I’m starting to go blind.
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Code: Brown
Homer : Marge, Flanders’ Wi-Fi is down again, I can’t watch Netflix!
Marge : I won’t keep asking him to turn the modem on and off – it’s indecent. Have you seen Bart?
Homer : Yes, with Milhouse. Nobody looked after them, so I’m sure they’re fine.
Marge : Find him. I don’t want him to get into any trouble with the authorities.
He’s been taken away twice already… and it’s hard to imagine how many people he offended.
Homer : Okay, I’ll look for him… or pretend.
Marge : What?
Homer : Nothing. I love you honey.
Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Unusual Suspects Part 1
Eddie : Mr. Simpson? We would like to ask you some questions about the local “brown house” which seems to have become a center of petty crime.
Homer : That’s right!
That’s why I came to check. The door was wide open, the TV was on, and the Wi-Fi was on.
Eddie : What about the empty refrigerator? Empty beer cans are scattered all over the place, and the carpet looks like you were hiding like a blanket.
Homer : I get cold when I watch TV drunk.
Quest: Make Homer Go for Interrogation (8hrs, $275, 70XP ).
Lou : A minute has not passed, and Homer not only got himself into trouble, but practically got the whole city involved.
That brown house is the epicenter of break-ins, vandalism and theft.
Wiggum : Put this case under the heading “boring”, Lou… as well as your word “ground zero”.
We don’t need to make other arrests if we’re investigating several big, high-profile crimes. And still need to pacify Quimby.
Lou : You can use the word “pacify” but I can’t use the word “ground zero”?
Wiggum : I’m in charge. Now find me Dexter so we can send him to Shawshank!
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Unusual Suspects P.2
Lou : There is no one in Springfield who is not involved in something.
Eddie : Yeah, but the chief says we need to find something big – some extremely dangerous criminal.
Lou : Phew… my gun jammed after two years of inactivity.
Eddie : I don’t even know where mine is. Come on, let’s catch a couple of pedestrians-violators.
Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Unusual Suspects P.3
Brockman : This is Kent Brockman reporting on police brutality in Springfield.
Wiggum : No “police mayhem”, Kent.
I just switched my employees from decaffeinated coffee to normal. Some of our employees have earned a neurosis, but otherwise it is only to their advantage.
Brockman : But what about law-abiding citizens who were arrested for minor offenses?
Wiggum : Kent, no law is insignificant! We do not sort laws by importance. The kidnapping of a person is no more significant than a broken marker lamp.
Hmm, can I say the last phrase in other words?
Brockman : We are live.
Wiggum : Damn it. I’m tired, Kent. I guess the caffeine wears off.
Quest: Make Wiggum Sleep in SWAT Van (6hrs, $225, 55XP ).
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Mo-ville
Mo : Okay, lazybones, last call!
Barney : But it’s only 10 o’clock, which means I can still tell the time on the clock, which means I’ve just started getting drunk.
Mo : I have a date, for your information.
Barney : Oh. Is everything serious?
Mo : No, she doesn’t know anything about him. I’m still looking to see if she’s free.
And then I can tell her that I’ve been following her for years. Love is like aged wine, Barn, it only gets better with age.
Quest: Make Mo Spy on Midge (12hrs, $420, 100XP ).
Lu : Hey chief, what is Mo doing in the bushes? He looks very suspicious.
Wiggum : Oh yes, he’s spying on Marge. That’s his hobby. It is useful for him – he does not get into trouble.
Well, Eddie is back from his date, so I want you and him to start looking for a major infraction!
Lou : Who was Eddie on a date with?
Wiggum : Not with your ex-wife Amy! And even if it was her, she wasn’t wearing that red dress you gave her for Valentine’s Day.
Lou : I think I’m about to vomit.
Wiggum : Please, not on uniform. We’ve only recently been charged extra to remove the bloodstains.
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Unusual suspects P.4
Wiggum : Well, well, well. And here is our old friend Serpent, aka Recidivist. Well, or Recidivist aka Serpent. Find him, Eddie!
You have a lot of documents with you, don’t you, Serpent? What is there, tissue paper, contracts?
Serpent : No, mate, blank insurance policies.
I am now a law-abiding insurance agent.
Wiggum : I have never been able to get life and health insurance. I suspect diabetes. And gout.
Oh, and I’m a cop who got shot 5 times. Okay, go!
Serpent : See you, mate.
Excuse me, dear…
I would like to offer you an excellent life and health insurance contract.
Just write “Snake” in the “beneficiary” box and I’ll make sure your family gets the money.
Quest: Send the Serpent to swindle the old people (8hrs, $275, 70XP ).
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Unusual Suspects P.5
Wiggum : Great job guys.
I love statistics – we keep the city safe by eliminating minor offenses.
Lou : If you don’t care, Chief, I’d like to go over some old reports. I think some of them are easy prey.
Wiggum : Oh, isn’t it nice to have easy loot? You don’t have to push, stretch. Man, I hate to stretch.
Quest: Have Lou Interrogate Suspects (12hrs, $420, 100XP ).
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Springfield Secrets P.1
Fat Tony : Chief Wiggum, congratulations on a job well done keeping order in the city.
Wiggum : Thank you Fat Tony.
You don’t have unpaid parking tickets, smuggled fireworks or anything else that deserves my close attention, do you?
Fat Tony : Of course not. My crimes are much larger.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have business that requires my personal attention.
Wiggum : Yes, of course. Everyone has important things to do. For example, I need to send back Sarah Zappo’s shoes.
Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Harsh Measures P.
1
Wiggum : Don’t you think that we are less likely to commit crimes in our presence because we are men?
Lou : I think it’s lower because we’re cops.
Wiggum : Come on, I think I found something. That’s why I decided that today I will go undercover and it will be a female form.
Eddie : You actually do that a lot, chief. I kept wanting to talk to you about this…
Wiggum : What? Do I look bad in this? My stylist says that I look like a sunset, but personally I think that autumn suits me better.
Reference: Send Chief Wiggum to police surveillance (24 hours, $600, 150 ).
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Crackdown P2
Wiggum : Okay guys, Wiggum sent me a thank you message for a job well done, but we still have a lower arrest rate than Detroit.
And they don’t even have police anymore.
Lou : But chief, who else should we arrest? We have already imprisoned everyone who committed at least some misconduct.
Wiggum : I heard the word “committed”, Lou. It’s time to change something.
Quest: Send criminals to serve time (24 hours, $600, 150XP ) – 20 residents of Springfield !
Serpent : I was not against the overcrowding of the prison when inveterate criminals were in it… But all these moms, dads, doctors and teachers are a very severe and unusual punishment!
Homer : I thought “free game” meant that I could just get my phone from the iPhone store.
Apu : Although I think this arrest is unfair, I admit that a night in jail is preferable to caring for eight babies.
Ned : Pancakes, neighbor, do you want me to point that bar of soap in the form of a gun at the guard who will bring us dinner?
Does he know this is a joke? Well, I love jokes!
Cletus : Indoor toilet with sink? Free orange robes? Yes, this is the most beautiful place I have ever been!
Krusty : I can’t go to jail – I’m a celebrity! What if no one recognizes me?!
Willy : My choice was between a hitman from a Mexican gang and an Englishman who crossed the road in the wrong place.
Skinner : Call the school, anyone there will tell you that this is most likely an idiotic Bart Simpson joke.
So you can forget about the body search you are going to do-and-and-and-and!
Burns : Well, brothers in jail! Set the guards on the local ringleaders in the courtyard?
Why are you threatening me with that dangerously sharp toothbrush?
Comic Book Dealer : Conditions are worse than those in the Restricted Area of Alpha Prison, run by SHIELD. I demand a meeting with your Tony Stark!
Lovejoy : God, I’ve been in your service for over 15 years. I offer you prayers every day.
Is it hard to hear my pleas for once and get me out of this stinking hole?!
Marge : I know I didn’t stop at the stop sign, but the car’s transmission breaks when I do.
Mo : Did they put me in jail for making a U-turn in the wrong place? It’s not even funny. You have not seen what I have in the basement!
Wiggum : Hey! I removed the camera, and the door slammed shut.
Hey! Funny, very funny, because we all know how cops are treated in prison. Oh my God.
Luigi : Thrown into prison like spaghetti against a wall. And my only crime is that I’m a cultural stereotype!
Grandpa : Why? I didn’t kill anyone, I didn’t steal anything, I didn’t even sell my pills to those bullies for a dollar, like some old man did in my dream.
Wait, who took my pills, and how do I get all this money?
Quimby : Outside these walls I am the mayor. Below, I, uh, I think I’m a girl with a sign in the yard battles of the Mexican army.
Crabapple : Cramped, dangerous neighbors, terrible food – I’ll go anywhere to get away from this school.
Hibbert : I’m telling you, it’s not drugs! I was just giving Chester money to fix my shack.
Jose and I got on really well. 
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Harsh Measures P.3
Wiggum : Great, guys! We’ve made more arrests this week than in the history of the Springfield Police Department.
Lou : But Chief, we weren’t after a big fish like Fat Tony.
Wiggum : You know, I’d like to make a big arrest, but did you ever talk to that guy? he is very scary.
So, instead, we’ll use the Springfield High School database to complete the list of repeat offenders.
Quest: Send youth to serve time (24 hours, $600, 150XP ) – 6 people!
Lisa : I am following in the footsteps of Nelson Mandela and Benazir Phutto. I wonder if they missed their Malibu Stacy dolls too?
Bart : Wow, looks like “Frightened”… minus the advice and chatter of the mentors. I would love it!
Martin : Incredibly, women prefer to marry prisoners. So, finally, I will have a chance!
Nelson : Prison? Wow, it’s like I saw my whole life ahead of me. Well, or at least missed a lot of boring events.
Milhouse : I spent my only phone call, but I just had to vote for America’s Top Model!
Ralph : This camp is somehow harmful, I think.
Goal achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Harsh Measures P.4
Brockman : Live by Kent Brockman.
Police brutality has reached catastrophic proportions.
It seems that no one is protected from their persecution: neither priests, nor public figures, nor children…
Wiggum : neither journalists.
Brockman : Exactly! Wait a minute, what?
Wiggum : Just finished the sentence. And what’s funny, now you will start a new one!
Reference: Make Brockman Go for Interrogation (8hrs, $275, 70XP ).
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Harsh Measures P.5
Wiggum : Okay, so maybe the idea of arresting a bunch of kids and sending them to a dangerous prison didn’t work out as well as I planned.
Lou : We need to get these kids out of jail before something terrible happens.
Wiggum : You’re right.
I know this is about the Pueblo Indians, and their needs deserve close attention.
Lou : I don’t know anything about them.
While the peoples of Europe were already building stone castles with might and main, they continued to live in a kind of adobe huts.
Wiggum : They were happy Lou! Isn’t happiness more important than a tiled roof? Crap!
Now make sure the reform school kids learn about the Pueblo!
For example, they will skip social education classes at school. Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Springfield Secrets Part 2
Quimby : I hope you’re not having any problems with your, uh, business because of the increased police activity.
Fat Tony : The only difficulty I’ve encountered is the lack of attendees at the races. My income in this area has dropped dramatically.
Quimby : I’ll see to it that the police release hardcore gamblers and those who are upset enough to go bet.
Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Springfield Secrets Part 3
Fat Tony : Boys, we live in a great time.
Legs : What’s this, boss?
Fat Tony : Our legitimate activities are usually kept under wraps.
But all sorts of petty crimes divert the attention of the police from us.
I love this state of relaxation and satisfaction so much while we crush, kill and deceive.
Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Springfield Secrets P.4
Eddie : We keep getting messages from the mayor asking for the release of pathological players and union leaders from jail.
Quimby has something to do with Fat Tony.
Lou : We could start an election campaign and make Chief Wiggum mayor.
Eddie doesn’t want to be called “America’s Fattest Mayor.” Let’s check out Quimby.
Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Springfield Secrets P.5
Lou : Mayor Quimby, we have evidence of your connection to a known Springfield crime organization.
You are under arrest!
Quimby : You, but you can’t do that. I’ll make sure none of you ever get a job in the security forces again!
Wiggum : Well, it’s still a road to nowhere. I want Ralphie to become a programmer.
Quest: Send Quimby to (24 hours, $600, 150XP ).
Wiggum : Wow, who’d have thought Mayor Quimby wasn’t clean? He has such a symmetrical face!
Lou : So, can we take care of Fat Tony, boss?
Wiggum : Yes, now that he is no longer under Quimby’s protection, let’s show him who the real boss is.
Eddie : And how do we do that? They have a lot of guns.
Wiggum : We’ll distract them by ordering a huge pizza delivery for them.
This time there will be a massacre, boys. I’m going to personally cut this hefty sausage!
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
Springfield Secrets Part 6
Wiggum : Fat Tony, your days of rule over the law are numbered!
Fat Tony : Really, officer?
I’m wondering what you can impute to me because I’m very careful in all my.
Wiggum : Tax evasion!
Fat Tony : Legs, we pay our taxes carefully, don’t we?
Legs : We never paid taxes, boss.
Fat Tony : So I’m guilty of the same as every charitable and religious organization in America? Well, looks like it’s going to be a little vacation, boys.
.. Quests:
Target achieved, get $100, 10XP .
Springfield Secrets P.7
Lisa : Now that a major criminal organization is behind bars, maybe this city will finally bounce back.
Bart : Get down to earth, Lisa. They won’t be there for just a day. Why can’t we get rid of them for a longer time?
Lisa : Because it’s more fun to click on all 40 characters every day and send them to daily tasks!
Bart : Oh?
Lisa : no doubt.
Now shut up and send me to do my homework for next week.Quest: Send Lisa to do her homework for next week (24 hours, $600, 150XP ).
Target reached, get $100, 10XP .
“The end times are coming for this power”
During the year of the war, the production of books in Russia decreased by 23%. The main reasons are censorship and international sanctions, which have seriously affected book printing. The main bestseller in 2022, according to the Russian Book Chamber, was the reprint of the book by Metropolitan Tikhon (Shevkunov) “Unholy Saints and Other Stories” – 50 thousand copies. Genuine bestsellers – the dilogy “Summer in a Pioneer Tie” and “What the Swallow Is Silent About” by Elena Malisova and Katerina Silvanova – are withdrawn from sale after the adoption of the law on “LGBT propaganda”, and the authors were declared foreign agents.
All conditions have been created for the revival of “tamizdat”.
In 2022-23, several Russian publishing houses appeared abroad, including Freedom Letters. Its founder, Georgy Urushadze, was the general director of the Big Book Prize, but after the start of the war, he left this and other positions and left Russia. Freedom Letters has already published more than two dozen books in Russian, English and Ukrainian. Electronic editions can be purchased on the publisher’s website and on international platforms (Amazon, iBooks, etc.)
Georgy Urushadze told Radio Liberty about the achievements and plans of Freedom Letters.
– What book are you reading now?
– I am reading a book that we will release this evening. This is a book by Svetlana Petriychuk “Tuareg. Seven texts for the theatre”. The play “Finist the Clear Falcon” is also in this collection.
– A play that put Svetlana Petriychuk in jail…
– Yes. Previously, only the theatrical world knew that she was a genius, now, I hope, everyone will know.
I have never been a director, but I am ready to take and direct several of her plays, they are so well written. First of all, the play “ZAO” is a “correspondence student” in translation from the prison language, a girl with whom the prisoner gets acquainted by correspondence, and she begins to “warm” him, send him parcels, come to visit him. Magical, fantastic story.
– Publishing books is a great pleasure. Layouts, covers and this feeling that you are the first to read a brilliant text… Do you experience publishing euphoria?
goal is to make the world’s best independent publishing house
– Yes. When I opened the text called “Love” (written by Vanya Chekalov, then I found out that he was 22 years old, he was a man of fantastic talent), I experienced great pleasure. All publishing difficulties have faded into the background, because it is an incomparable happiness – to find a manuscript in the stream that no one has read, and publish it.
Or publish something that others can’t, like we did with Springfield. Yes, the publisher is a happy person, despite the huge number of difficulties that he needs to solve.
– “Springfield” is the book that started your publishing house. Queer romance. Please tell us about him.
– We published 10 books at once, each book is numbered on the spine. Number 1 is Springfield, one of the best Russian novels of the 21st century. The novel captures, immerses, spits out, immerses again, does what it wants with the reader. Everything goes to a great ending. Sergey is generally a master of endings, he is a playwright and says that plays are written for the sake of endings. The finale of the novel “Springfield” is simply magical, disassembles into pieces, leads to goosebumps, leads to catharsis.
– There were many Russian publishing houses abroad: Ardis, YMCA-press, Sowing, Third Wave. Do you have any direction?
– We have no landmarks in the past, because the situation in which we are now has no analogues.
We create guidelines for ourselves, weaving them from reality. We are different from the publishing houses that existed in the past. Firstly, we are not fighting the Soviet regime, despite the fact that the Soviet regime exists, is alive and is trying to show Kuz’kin’s mother again to everyone. I think that it is such a pleasure to fight the state, the regime with books, it is very easy to become a revolutionary, and not a supporter of good literature. We extend a helping hand to everyone who needs such a hand, we help wonderful authors who are left without a platform, without the opportunity to express their opinion and convey texts to the reader. I am also talking about Ukrainian authors. We have a large series “Words of Ukraine”, where we publish texts in Russian and Ukrainian. I believe that publishing is the media, it is a way to inform people, a way to help people, we pack our messages into books. We work very fast, we can publish a book in a week. Made 19 in the first three weeksbooks.
– How many people work?
– We don’t have a single staff member. This is a volunteer project, everyone volunteers, including me. Approximately 25 volunteers in different positions, there are several artists, several editors, several proofreaders. The question is often asked: who is your investor, sponsor? There is no one yet. But I decided for myself – to release a hundred books this year. In general, the global goal is to make the best independent publishing house in the world. I think that this is quite achievable.
– When I was in Russia shortly before the start of the war, I went to a well-known independent bookstore and found myself the only customer there. The books were great, but I didn’t buy anything because I knew I probably wouldn’t read them. Before that, I brought a bag of books from Russia and didn’t even open two-thirds. It seems to me that this happens to many former avid readers. The book disappears from our lives, it is replaced by Twitter, Tik-Tok, Netflix or Facebook, whoever has what.
Have your reading habits changed in recent years?
– You are right and wrong at the same time. Yes, they read less and less every year – this is the absolute truth. The young adult segment looks much more interesting, it is growing. But on the whole, book publishing and the book trade are stagnating, circulations are declining. Of course, it would not be interesting for me to do something in terms of business in a falling market. All last year, I considered the budget and understood that it was impossible to make a cost-effective publishing house: there is now a loss of 30 dollars per dollar of revenue, approximately the same situation if you do not sell anything in Russia, where the lion’s share of readers, but sell in small stores in different countries. It seems to me that I have solved the main economic problems, so I feel confident and do my own publishing house not for profit, not for the sake of becoming a millionaire by selling books. Have my reading habits changed? It’s hard for me to analyze, because now I read several books a day from the flow of manuscripts, either what comes out of us or what my writer friends send me.
Yesterday I read Illichevsky in this way and said that I would publish it. So now I have no habits, I have a job. Before becoming a publisher, I didn’t read very much, much less than I did when I was young. Because the competition for a book now is not another book, but social networks, reports, online publications, YouTube, advertising, ticker, whatever. That’s why I’m not doing a publishing house in the classical sense of the word, I’m doing the media. In fact, it could become a media company in the future. We can take long reads from the media, somehow supplement them, compile collections from them or release them in the form of books – this is a different format, it is for a different audience, it lives much longer. Now we will do a series called “February”. This is a series that captures what is happening in Russia, there will be books about Z-warriors, about how propaganda works, about the degradation of the media, and so on. This is an important story, it will be referred to decades later, because there is a fixation of reality, and not what analysts will write later when the regime falls.
Therefore, our task is not purely literary, not just publishing good books for a good reader, but a deeper and broader task. There is also a demand for this, it is different. We have published a collection “Not the last words” – these are the speeches of Russian political prisoners, we took them from open sources. We fiddled around for quite some time, and this amount of information is only available in a book. If someone wants to master it without a book, it will take him a month – searching, checking quotes, somewhere it’s YouTube, somewhere someone’s Facebook, somewhere in the Telegram channel published, somewhere an incomplete version. No ordinary reader will spend a month looking for all the information. But collectively it makes a deafening impression. I edited it myself, I ran across the ceiling, swearing, after every speech: they knew everything, they warned us, as they said, that’s how it all happened, where were our ears, why didn’t we hear it?
– Until last year, you headed the national literary award – this is a state-owned enterprise.
..
– All the same, we must immediately, without rushing into words, dot the i’s. There was no state. Among the co-founders was, for example, the Ministry of Culture…
– Isn’t this a state?
the state tried several times to put pressure on me, and they did not succeed
– … In which there was never our question, they even refused to play our releases, no call from there, no pressure, nothing. Yes, the state tried several times to put pressure on me, and they did not succeed. I was hinted that this is how it should be, but it is. One major government official tried to say: I will find even more money for your award, everything will be fine with you, but only I have to determine who will be the laureate. He was in a tough form quickly sent. The state did not give money for the bonus fund, did not give money for my salary, did not give money for the salaries of experts. We won, and sometimes did not win, a grant for the organization of the ceremony, we received it through an auction in which we could participate in 19companies, we filed, but the state also did not say: no, you arrange a patriotic ceremony for us, we approve such and such a scenario for you .
.. In general, we were independent. Among the founders was the company “Gazprom-Media”. What did she do? She once a year gave us time for social advertising on several radio stations and one TV channel, asking nothing in return. Therefore, the premium was by no means state, did not depend on the state and did not exist on the money of the state.
– You can’t call it opposition either, would you agree?
– The world is not black and white. Until the war began, I was at my post, fulfilling the duties (which I wrote to myself, because I have been in this award from the very beginning), that I am obliged to ensure the independence of experts, I am obliged to ensure the confidentiality of the results, the non-interference of organizations or some body in result. And that’s what I did. The war began, I realized that I could not do it. I realized that everything that I had been building for 17 years perished instantly. And fuck him, because this is not the most important problem that has happened in the world.
It is impossible to say that the award served the state. We did not serve the regime, no regime demanded this or that from me. Moreover, we had laureates and speeches at the ceremony were truly oppositional. I do not want my words to be taken as an excuse, because I am not guilty of anything. But I also cannot allow anyone to call my former state award, it is not state.
– You had a difficult relationship with Zakhar Prilepin. He complained that you personally did not give his books progress, and that there were too many Jews on the jury. Now you are gone, his book about Sholokhov turned out to be one of the finalists this year…
No matter how much I consider Prilepin to be a cannibal, I do not consider it possible to blow him up
– He has now entered the jury, and his minions have entered the jury. I did not have any relationship with Zakhar Prilepin, I talked to him once. I shared this juicy story on Facebook when he approached me and asked how much money it would take to win the award.
I said: “If you give a bribe to all the members of the jury, it will be a very small bribe, because there are more than a hundred members of the jury.” From his point of view, I don’t know if it was a joke or not, but from my point of view, of course, it was a joke. And the conversation was in New York during the book fair. I never interacted with him again. I wrote such a reflection that there were two Russias before the war, in one, writers freely created, they bought oil from the same Russia, gave them visas, provided international student or scientific exchanges, and so on, and in the other Russia there was conservatism, terrible laws were adopted and so on. From this, Prilepin and some of his mongrels concluded that I did not let someone from the second Russia into my first. That’s what was not, that was not. I really created the award and kept it as absolutely free, open to everyone. It just so happens that among the most advanced “patriots” (they are not patriots at all, what they are doing now is leading to the destruction of the country – this is not patriotism), there were no particularly talented ones.
The same Prilepin, having written two interesting books, how he went to war, did not write anything afterwards. I had neither the opportunity nor the desire to forbid anyone. If a person was nominated, at least two experts would read it and share their opinions. If their opinions were directly opposite, read the third expert. There were also people who were personally unpleasant to me, I had a difficult relationship with them, but I did nothing to remove them from somewhere. It’s just that I couldn’t afford to damage the reputation of the award, because the award only has a reputation; To be honest, Zakhar didn’t care. In principle, I kept my internal position that I don’t care who the winner is, I deal with organizational issues, I develop the award as an independent institution and defend my experts. Only once in 17 years did my voting result partially coincide with how everyone voted in the end. I was also a member of the jury, there were 107 people. My vote always went wrong. If I were such an insidious person who would like to adjust the result to his picture of the world, I probably would have come up with something.
Why did I need it?
– When the news came about the attempt on Prilepin’s life, how did you feel?
– Anxiety, because in principle I am against such methods. I got on the Internet, began to find out the details of what actually happened there. When Dugina was killed, I wrote on Facebook that people should not be killed. I am not a politician, I am not a participant in the war, I believe that I have the right to such a humanitarian position. No matter how cannibal I consider Prilepin, I do not consider it possible to blow him up. Because at first you can blow up one cannibal, and then you can blow up innocent people for the sake of a “holy idea”. Don’t follow this path, it never ends well.
The car in which Zakhar Prilepin was
– You said that there are no talented Z-authors at all. With no exceptions? Someone thinks that Karaulov is talented, and many people think that Dugin is also talented.
– These two characters are absolutely mediocre, for my taste.
There are several poets who have some kind of spark, but it slipped before, and now they simply exploit this theme: “Oh, I’m an unhappy girl from the Donbass.” This Z-public is very well received. But in principle, if you look at this collection, which is now distributed through “State Services” to everyone, it’s just graphomania, maybe with the exception of one percent. For me, people who are now involved in Z-stories are more careerists. They also write that the “Big Book” never let them in, or I personally did not let them in, or someone else. I’ve been out of the process for a year and a half now. The Big Book has been reformatted. Z- “patriots” now have a green light everywhere, write, publish, do whatever you want. But for some reason there is no surge of talented authors, who allegedly were not allowed by someone. What does “didn’t let” mean? Who should not be allowed on the Internet? Get it, publish it. There were a lot of conservative publishing houses, some kind of “Veche”. The director of “Veche” also accused me of not letting his publishing house into the “Big Book”.
You put forward something not secondary, put forward something talented. In fact, I did not even know the political position of the experts, who is there for whom, we are still for literature. And I remain in this position. I believe that cannibals cannot write well, but if some cannibal ever writes something good, I will not publish it, but I will read it.
– Many of these Z-authors recently spoke at a book fair on Red Square, and next to them quite liberal publishers presented their products. There has been a lot of controversy about this. Ksenia Larina wrote that it was impossible to participate in such events, but she was attacked on Facebook: you, emigrants, do not understand anything in our life. Which side are you on in this debate?
– Do you also want me to write now that I am an emigrant who has no right to interfere? In fact, the question is deep and sad. For me it is clear: it is not necessary to go to the meetings of the wicked. It is unacceptable for me to have any Z-people in friends on the same Facebook, I cleaned them all out.
I was surprised to find that liberals, democrats have this whole shobla as friends, but this is their business, they may be watching or do not want to quarrel with people they know personally. But the problem is that if we don’t clean them up like that, we’ll kind of give them a chance for a normal future after everything is over. Again they will shake hands: old man, how are you? In my picture of the world, this is an unacceptable story. If I lived in Russia now, I would not go to these meetings. But I’m not in Russia now. The people who are inside accepted that reality a little, prepared to live in it for quite a long time. Go to all these meetings to see friends. I can’t judge the rest, it’s hard for them. I think that 15 percent of the rest are Zeta supporters, all the rest are normal people who also have a hard time, but they don’t have the opportunity to leave for various reasons: someone’s parents are sick, someone had access to secret information, someone There is basically no money.
Everyone has different circumstances, I can not order and condemn.
– You said “when it’s over”. Where is the confidence that this will end in our lifetime and end well?
I don’t believe that there will be democracy in Russia tomorrow, but I am sure that there is not much left for this regime
– In Russia, power has always fallen from mistakes from above. I do not think that the current government has a great resource, including moral. I’m not even talking about the economy, which at the very least can still exist for some time, I’m talking about the fatigue of the material, that they themselves no longer understand – this can be seen from the same Zeta posts – what their goal is. They come up with either denazification, or defense of borders, or a desire to ensure the future of the country. By all indications – quarrels between the elites, Prigozhin’s attacks on Shoigu and so on – I have a feeling that the last times are coming for this government.
It can last for several months or several years, but the Soviet Union collapsed right before my eyes, that is, I was in Gorbachev’s reception room when his resignation was broadcast, then a red flag was carried past me, lowered from the first building of the Kremlin. But in a month, two, three, four, no one could yet say that the Soviet Union would not survive 1991 years old. I have a feeling that we will see the end of the regime pretty soon. Not the fact that the next mode will be better. I said more than a year ago that Prigozhin or a person of this type could at some point become the president of the country. Everyone twisted their fingers at their temples, and now this is almost a common place. We can see a leapfrog of different leaders, we can see a semblance of a civil war, or at least some kind of civil tension, a war of different PMCs among themselves, anything can happen. I do not believe that tomorrow there will be democracy, glasnost and complete happiness in Russia, but I am sure that there is not much left for this regime.
Anatoly Sobchak and Vladimir Putin
– Do you know Putin?
– I was a journalist in St. Petersburg and Sobchak’s assistant for a short time and, of course, I saw him.
– What are your impressions?
Democrats who fight Putin underestimate him
– Imagine, in 1995, as a correspondent for the Kommersant newspaper, I came to Sobchak to interview. I have known Sobchak since 1990. In this interview, he will say for the first time that he will run for mayor again. We talked, there was not enough time, I just impudently said: I will sit here as long as necessary, but I need another hour of your time. I sat in his waiting room, he had two reception rooms in Smolny: a tiny dressing room where his assistant sat, then a hall where other assistants sat and all the people who wanted to see Sobchak gathered. I sit there, quietly watching what is happening. At some point, almost all the deputies of Dog came, they stand, they poison jokes, they talk for an hour, two talk, they don’t do business.
All their subordinates think that they are in a high office solving important problems, but they stand and poison jokes. The only person who came in, looked in, solved some issue by going to Sobachok for a minute, it was Putin. Then I really liked this businesslike approach: I went in, decided, left, didn’t stand, didn’t chat with anyone, didn’t waste time. It was interesting in contrast. It must be understood that after Yeltsin, any young, adequate, hard-working person made a normal impression. In this sense, I cannot say that even at 19In 1995, he seemed like some kind of scary person, no. One of my first impressions is the business normal approach. In general, I think that the Democrats who are fighting Putin underestimate him. They believe that some random person came. Random person 20 years old? Yes, now there is little adequacy in these actions, but all the years he somehow coped. It is always necessary to evaluate the enemy not in three filthy words, but to understand deeper.
– I don’t know where you live now, but do you feel like a full-fledged political emigrant or, as they say now, a relocant?
there was a lot of hate when I spoke out against the war.
They wrote to me that I should be dissolved in acid– To make life easier for me, I decided that I left forever. That doesn’t mean I won’t be back if things change. It is better not to sit on your suitcases and not wait for immediate changes. Life is passing us by right now. If we wait for something in the future, then life will pass. Personally, I told myself that one must be able to accept circumstances. I am not happy at all, I was never going to emigrate politically or emigrate at all. I traveled a lot, but always returned to Russia. I have never made myself a second citizenship or residence permit, and still have none of that. Until now, my existence is exclusively on tourist visas. I accepted that I was a “political immigrant” in March. It so happened, I ended up in Rome after the start of the war, reached my beloved Colosseum, and somehow at that moment I was overwhelmed by the understanding that I was a political emigrant involuntarily.
Ukraine, June 2023
– Your publishing house, as you said, is not fighting “Soviet power”, but still you publish books that cannot be published in Russia now.
Are you being harassed or threatened? Are you ready for the fact that you can be declared a foreign agent?
– Indeed, there was quite a lot of hate when I spoke out against the war. They wrote to me that I needed to be dissolved in acid, some such things. Since I had never been bullied at school, this was the first experience for me, and it was, of course, very unpleasant. As for the state, processes are slowly going on there. Announce means, announce. I do not associate myself with this state in any way, I do not depend on it in any way. Of course, I will not put any dice.
– Do you miss Russia?
– Very. Both in people and in favorite places.
– What about books? Were you unable to take your library out?
– I left with a small suitcase. One good journalist wrote: I can’t leave without my books, so I’m staying. I think it’s a bit of a pose. Books are always with me. Today someone published a photo of Brodsky’s collection, published in Estonia in 1990, probably, the year I had such a collection, I pasted it with a transparent tape and took it with me on all my trips.
