What is the real impact of sexual harassment on young girls. How can we address the normalization of groping in schools. Why is it crucial to call out inappropriate touching for what it truly is. How can media coverage avoid reinforcing problematic attitudes.
The Alarming Reality of Sexual Harassment in Schools
Sexual harassment and inappropriate touching in schools is a pervasive issue that demands serious attention. Despite being an age-old problem, recent media coverage has brought renewed focus to this concerning behavior, sometimes referred to as “scooping.” However, framing such actions as novel trends or potential pranks severely undermines the gravity of the situation.
A Los Angeles news station recently ran a story titled “Scooping: Sexual Assault or Schoolboy Prank?” This problematic framing exemplifies how media can inadvertently trivialize sexual harassment. By presenting groping as a potential “prank,” it normalizes unacceptable behavior and fails to acknowledge the very real trauma experienced by victims.
Defining “Scooping” and Its Impact
While the term “scooping” may be relatively new, the behavior it describes is not. It refers to instances where a student, typically male, inappropriately touches a female student’s breasts, buttocks, or genitals without consent. This kind of unwanted sexual contact can have profound and lasting effects on victims.
- Instills fear and shame about one’s body
- Inhibits freedom of movement
- Teaches girls that their bodies are not their own
- Normalizes non-consensual touching for boys
The Long-Term Consequences of Early Sexual Harassment
Experiencing sexual harassment at a young age can have far-reaching consequences that extend well into adulthood. The trauma of unwanted touching and the normalization of such behavior can shape how individuals view themselves and their relationships with others for years to come.
Impact on Girls and Women
For girls who experience groping or other forms of sexual harassment, the effects can be deeply internalizing. They may develop:
- Persistent feelings of shame about their bodies
- Heightened anxiety in public spaces
- Difficulty trusting others
- Challenges with intimacy and consensual physical contact
Implications for Boys and Men
When such behavior goes unchallenged, it sends problematic messages to boys as well:
- Reinforces the idea that they have unrestricted access to female bodies
- Normalizes non-consensual touching
- Fails to teach the importance of respect and bodily autonomy
The Role of Media in Shaping Perceptions of Sexual Harassment
Media coverage plays a crucial role in how society understands and responds to issues like sexual harassment. When news outlets frame groping as a potential “prank” or use sensationalized language, they risk:
- Trivializing the experiences of victims
- Normalizing unacceptable behavior
- Failing to educate the public on the seriousness of the issue
Responsible reporting should focus on:
- Clearly defining sexual harassment and assault
- Highlighting the long-term impact on victims
- Discussing prevention strategies and support resources
- Avoiding language that sexualizes or objectifies victims
Breaking the Silence: The Importance of Discussing Sexual Harassment
One positive aspect of increased media attention is that it helps break the silence surrounding sexual harassment. For too long, victims have felt pressure to stay quiet about their experiences, fearing judgment or disbelief. By bringing these issues into the public discourse, we create opportunities for:
- Validation of victims’ experiences
- Increased awareness and education
- Development of more effective prevention strategies
- Empowerment of bystanders to intervene
The Power of Speaking Out
When individuals share their stories of sexual harassment, it can have a ripple effect throughout society. Benefits of speaking out include:
- Helping other victims feel less alone
- Encouraging others to come forward
- Putting pressure on institutions to address the problem
- Challenging societal norms that enable harassment
Preventing Sexual Harassment: Strategies for Schools and Communities
Addressing sexual harassment in schools requires a multi-faceted approach involving educators, parents, students, and the broader community. Effective prevention strategies may include:
- Comprehensive sex education that emphasizes consent and respect
- Clear policies and consequences for sexual harassment
- Training for staff on recognizing and addressing inappropriate behavior
- Empowering bystanders to intervene safely
- Creating safe reporting mechanisms for victims
- Challenging gender stereotypes and promoting equality
The Role of Bystander Intervention
Empowering students and staff to intervene when they witness sexual harassment can significantly impact school culture. Effective bystander intervention strategies include:
- Directly addressing the harasser
- Distracting or redirecting attention
- Seeking help from authority figures
- Supporting the target of harassment
Fostering a Culture of Respect and Consent
Ultimately, preventing sexual harassment requires a fundamental shift in how we view relationships, bodies, and personal boundaries. This cultural change begins with early education and continues throughout life. Key elements of fostering respect and consent include:
- Teaching bodily autonomy from a young age
- Modeling healthy relationships and communication
- Challenging harmful gender stereotypes
- Promoting empathy and emotional intelligence
- Emphasizing the importance of enthusiastic consent in all interactions
The Importance of Male Allyship
Engaging men and boys as allies in the fight against sexual harassment is crucial. This involves:
- Encouraging critical reflection on societal messages about masculinity
- Teaching skills for respectful communication and boundary-setting
- Empowering males to challenge peers’ problematic behavior
- Highlighting positive male role models who exemplify respect and equality
Supporting Survivors: Resources and Healing Strategies
For those who have experienced sexual harassment or assault, healing is a complex and individual process. However, there are resources and strategies that can support survivors on their journey:
- Professional counseling and therapy
- Support groups for survivors
- Trauma-informed yoga and mindfulness practices
- Creative expression through art, writing, or music
- Advocacy work to empower others and create change
National Resources for Support
Several organizations provide support and resources for survivors of sexual harassment and assault:
- RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 24/7 hotline and online chat
- National Sexual Violence Resource Center: Information and referrals
- 1in6: Support specifically for male survivors
- The Trevor Project: Resources for LGBTQ+ youth
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. No one should have to face the aftermath of sexual harassment alone.
Moving Forward: Creating a Safer World for All
Addressing sexual harassment in schools is just one step towards creating a society where all individuals feel safe and respected. By challenging harmful norms, educating our youth, and supporting survivors, we can work towards a future free from sexual violence and harassment.
Key takeaways for creating lasting change include:
- Recognizing sexual harassment as a serious issue, not a prank or trend
- Holding media accountable for responsible reporting on these issues
- Implementing comprehensive prevention programs in schools and communities
- Empowering bystanders to intervene and support victims
- Fostering a culture of respect, consent, and gender equality
- Providing robust support systems for survivors
- Engaging men and boys as allies in prevention efforts
By working together and remaining committed to this cause, we can create a world where everyone feels safe, respected, and valued. The journey may be challenging, but the goal of a harassment-free society is worth the effort.
What’s the “Scoop” About Groping?
- Violence & Harassment
3/12/2010 by
Shira Tarrant
(Indiana Public Media / Flickr)
What’s the “scoop” on sexual groping? There is no scoop. Getting felt up or fondled is old news. Ask any girl.
Yet, on March 1, Los Angeles TV station KTLA 5 ran a news story titled “Scooping: Sexual Assault or Schoolboy Prank?” The report:
An 11-year-old Castaic middle school student says she has become part of an alarming new trend called ‘scooping,’ which involves inappropriate touching by fellow students.
As if sexual groping were a new discovery! And as if sexual assault could be misunderstood as a simple prank–a Tom Sawyer/Huck Finn boys-will-be-boys shenanigan!
Sexual assault is never just a prank, and by suggestively framing the issue like this the media becomes part of the problem. We need to call out groping for what it is, and not hide behind coy language or veiled references about a hand-plant to the breast. And the media should be highlighting the politics of power instead of titillating viewers by focusing on girls’ bodies in sexualized ways.
Castaic school administrators, to their credit, said that they take seriously any unwanted sexual groping. And to KTLA reporter Lu Parker’s credit, she defined “scooping” in sex-specific terms as being when a boy student grabs a girl’s breasts or touches her genitals.
My own recollection of junior high school is filled with memories of running the gauntlet: trying to move through stairways lined with boys groping my breasts and butt as I passed by. Eighth-grade band was traumatically interrupted on a regular basis by the boy who grabbed mine and my best-friend’s boobs as we sat in the flute section. I also had to field inappropriate comments by male administrators and school counselors.
Such everyday assaults teach girls to internalize fear and shame about their bodies, and threaten to inhibit girls’ free movement through the world. “Scooping” tells boys that they can have sexual access to girls’ bodies at will. Girls become women, but the issues of shame and fear, freedom and safety don’t disappear.
I’m glad such issues are getting play on television, but we need deeper analyses, realistic solutions and answers that go beyond moral outrage. We need news coverage that doesn’t reinforce the problem by sexualizing girls’ bodies. And we need to call out the problem for what it is. Groping sends an early message to boys that they have unrestricted sexual access to female bodies, and that those bodies exist merely to be used by others–instead of for women’s own pleasure and with women’s autonomous consent.
We know what the problems are, so what are the answers? Some of them may be gleaned at the National Sexual Assault Conference in Los Angeles, September 1-3, 2010, hosted by the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CALCASA). Or at the 2010 National Conference on Sexual Assault in Our Schools hosted by Safe Society Zone in Atlanta, October 22 to 24. Both will focus on strategies for preventing sexual harassment, which is the only real solution.
So thanks, KTLA! You put this issue on the mainstream radar. Public news reports help break the lingering silence–a silence that is part of the problem.
Follow Ms. coverage of sexual violence issues here.
Tagged: Girls’ Rights, Media Sexism, Opinion, Sexual Violence, Young Women and Girls
Shira Tarrant is an unconventional feminist redefining gender rights. She is the author of Men and Feminism (Seal Press), When Sex Became Gender (Routledge), and editor of the provocative anthology Men Speak Out: Views on Gender, Sex and Power (Routledge). Her newest book, Fashion Talks: Undressing the Power of Style (SUNY Press, with Marjorie Jolles), will be published in 2012. Shira Tarrant’s writing appears in Bitch Magazine, BUST, Ms. Magazine, Women’s Studies Quarterly, Huffington Post, and in various anthologies, blogs, and encyclopedias. Shira Tarrant is a popular speaker at college campuses and public venues across the country and she is quoted widely in print, radio, television, and online media. Shira Tarrant received her doctorate in political science from the University of California, Los Angeles. She is an associate professor in the Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies Department at California State University, Long Beach. Read more at http://shiratarrant.com.
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9 Pieces of Advice on How to Make a Girl Like You
By Paris Fox
| Updated January 30, 2023
Main photo: Pixabay
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When a man likes a woman, he typically asks her out. But in this day and age, where more and more people are meeting online rather than in person, traditional dating rules are changing a bit. Men may feel more intimidated about asking a woman out in person. So you might be wondering how to make a girl like you. It is not really all that complicated. Women are a bit complex, but not as much as you think. If you want to know how to make her like you, simply follow the advice we are about to give you. You will thank us in the end!
Be Yourself!
Source: The Bridalmusings
Are you aware how to know if a girl likes you? She does, if she is laughing at your jokes. So, the key is to be yourself. Simple enough, right? If you are wondering how to make her like you, all you have to do is be yourself. Women like a man who is sincere. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Be honest and upfront from the beginning. If you are thinking about how to make a girl like you the first step is to remain true to yourself. Don’t try to change to impress her. Chances her, she’ll see through your charade right away. And honestly, if she does fall for your act, how long do you think you can keep it going? Start out real and stay real, if you want the relationship to last.
Don’t Come on Too Strong
Surely, every girl looks through the articles like ‘How to make him want you,’ but it’s like a game. If you come on too strong, you’re just going to scare her off. Don’t use cheesy pickup lines either. We can spot those a mile away. A little flirting can’t hurt, but if you use some typical pick up line from a movie or sitcom, she’s just going to either laugh at you or be completely turned off. Be sincere and down to earth. Flirt with her and compliment her but keep it light at the beginning. You don’t want to seem like the typical guy. You want to stand out in her mind so don’t act like the typical guy.
Take the Time to Get to Really Know Her
Take some time to get to know her and her interests. Pay attention when she talks. Look her in the eyes, do not stare at her chest when she is talking to you, and maintain eye contact so she knows that you are interested in her as a person. Ask her questions about her work, her family and her interests and hobbies, Take the time to really get to know her how and show her that you are seriously interested in pursuing a relationship.
Stop Flirting With Other Women
Source: The Featherandtwinephotography
If you are really into this woman, you need to stop flirting with every woman you see. How is she going to know that she is special to you if you flirt with every woman with whom you come into contact? Show her she is different from all of the rest. A little casual flirting is one thing, but save the more playful and meaningful flirting for the object of your desire. Blatantly flirting with every woman that crosses your path is not how to get a girl to like you. You need to show her that you have eyes only for her.
Shower Her With Gifts
Source: The Barefootblonde
You don’t have to buy her expensive jewelry, but you can send her flowers at her office or even write her a little note and leave it on her desk, or perhaps on the windshield of her car. Buy her chocolates or little fun, token gifts. If you are out together and you saw her eyeing a certain perfume or even a book in a used bookstore, go back and pick it up for her. She will be flattered that you remembered that she liked it. A little thoughtfulness goes a long when when you are trying to catch her attention.
Dress to Impress
Women like a man who keeps up his appearance. We’re not saying you have to wear a suit at all times, but it can’t hurt to ditch the jeans and t-shirt for a nice pair of pants and a button down shirt, sweater or polo shirt. Also make sure your hair is neat, your nails are clean, and your breath is fresh. Women aren’t superficial, but we do like when a man takes the time to look good for us. Wear some cologne; women love it when a man smells good!
Be Confident!
Source: witneycarson via Instagram
We like a man who can take charge and has confidence in himself. However, this does not mean that you should be cocky, or demeaning. There is a difference between cocky and confident.
Self-assurance is one thing, arrogance is another. Treat her with kindness and respect, but show that you have confidence in yourself. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind as well. Women admire a man with strong opinions and we even enjoy a heated debate about sports, politics or current events. But don’t be overbearing. Keep an open mind and don’t get hot-headed if she doesn’t agree with everything you say.
Send Her a “Thinking of You” Text
Source: The Classygirlswearpearls
Women are big on texting. We spend a lot of time texting our girlfriends with random thoughts and silly pictures. We love when a guy sends us an unexpected text to say hello or ask how we are doing. Send her a simple text that says “Good morning, beautiful” or text her right before you go to sleep so she knows that you are on her mind. Simple things like this stay in our minds. Showing a girl you are thinking of her is one of the best ways how to a girl to like you.
And Finally… ASK HER OUT!
Source: The Shannonelizabethphoto
This one is obvious, but not every man seems to get the hint. If you have done all of the above and she genuinely seems interested in you, then take the plunge and ask her out. What’s the worst she can do? If she says no, then she’s not the girl for you and you can stop wasting your time and find the one who is meant for you!
How to Make a Girl Like You
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FAQ: How To Make A Girl Like You
What to say to make a girl like you?
- “I can’t take my mind off of you.“
- “You make me feel as if I’m worth a million dollars“.
- “Since we started spending time together, I’ve been so much happier“.
- “I can’t get your smile out of my head“.
- “The time we spent together today was fantastic“.
- “It makes me ecstatic to be with you“.
- “What’s new with you today?“
What is the right age to kiss?
People commonly begin kissing between the ages of 13 and 15. Just don’t let other people your age pressure you into kissing someone, and don’t rush into it if you’re nervous. When the time is right, you’ll know it instinctively.
What should I say before kissing a girl?
- “Right now, I would like to kiss you. ” Move in slowly after you say it, unless she says “no”.
- If you believe she’d appreciate the sweet, romantic gesture, write her a message that says “Will you kiss me?” or “I want to kiss you.” Then make your way in without saying anything.
- “I’d appreciate a kiss before I leave.“
the richest and meanest woman in the world
What would you do if you were the richest woman in the world? Bought a fancy house? Did you travel around the world? Gathered a collection of dresses and jewelry? Would you give your loved ones whatever they want? Bettemie Green did none of the above. She was the richest woman in the world… and the meanest. So stingy that she didn’t even pay for the treatment… However, read about it below.
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Henrietta Robinson was born November 21, 1835 in New Bedford, Massachusetts. In childhood, little Getty was not at all a greedy girl: her parents owned a huge whaling industry and were extremely successful in trading with China. The future “witch of Wall Street” did not need money at all, but she really needed parental attention: business took away all the time from Henrietta’s parents, so the family decided to give the baby to her grandfather’s upbringing. But he had very peculiar ideas about how to educate little girls: instead of books with fairy tales, he gave her financial newspapers and boring accounting reports to read. Surprisingly, a six-year-old girl was seriously carried away by the magic of numbers. By the age of 13, Henrietta took over all the bookkeeping of the family business, and at the age of 15 she entered a financial school in Boston.
When the girl turned 19, her father sent her to New York, handing over 1200 dollars – a very decent amount for those times. It was assumed that Getty would attend receptions, gain social experience, and get used to fashion stores. Everything turned out quite differently: Henrietta discovered the game on the stock exchange. She returned home in the same dress, but there were twice as many banknotes in her purse – she made her bets very well. Then Getty realized that she felt best on Wall Street, and making money was her calling. They became her fetish: on her birthday, the girl did not light candles on the cake, but the next day she sold them at the market.
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In 1864, Getty’s father died and left her an inheritance of $7.5 million ($107 million in 2010 terms). The family objected, but Getty invested all the money in US Civil War war bonds anyway. At the same time, she began to sue her aunt Sylvia: she bequeathed two million dollars to charity, and this outraged the future stingy Getty so much that she sued and provided a fake as evidence. According to a fake will, the aunt left everything to her niece. Henrietta lost the trial, but it became clear to everyone around that for the sake of money this woman is capable of anything.
At 33, Getty married multimillionaire Edward Green. They say it happened by pure chance: by mistake, he sent her a note with a declaration of love, written on the back of the bill for the suit. Getty liked the numbers: she considered the man economical and therefore worthy of attention. Before agreeing to the wedding, the bride insisted on a marriage contract: according to him, Edward once and for all waived all rights to her money, regardless of when they were earned – in marriage or not. Henrietta herself did not refuse her husband’s money. Edward and Henrietta had two children three years apart – first Ned, then Sylvia. And, despite caring for two small children, Henrietta continued to increase her fortune.
At the same time, Getty managed to quarrel with all her husband’s relatives, as well as with servants and small shops. Legends have already begun to circulate about her stinginess.
For example, Getty never bought a whole biscuit – a broken and lost presentation was much cheaper. Henrietta forced her son to sell the morning papers that she had already read. If this failed, paper was used in winter: the woman put it under her outer clothing as a heater. She instructed her laundress to wash only visible dirt from clothes: if you wash a thing in pieces, less soap is used. Getty also did not allow herself too much: she ate mainly oatmeal heated on an office battery – so she would not have to pay for fuel for the stove. But, by the way, this is not even the most surprising thing.
In 1885, the largest financial house, John J. Sisko & Son, in which Getty Green was the largest investor, collapsed. During the investigation, it turned out that Edward, Getty’s husband, was in debt to this firm. And, moreover, he allowed the company’s management to secretly use Getty’s investments. Henrietta immediately took all her securities and … kicked her husband out.
What is most interesting, the relationship between Henrietta and Edward did not stop there: they remained good friends, and when Edward fell ill, Getty looked after him until his death. Apparently, she sincerely loved her husband, but she could not forgive him for the attempt on her capital: love is love, and money apart.
The financial tycoons of New York called the Getty the Witch of Wall Street – for her difficult character and strange appearance: Henrietta did not look after herself at all, she always wore dark dresses (dark matter gets dirty less) and wore them literally to the holes. She preferred to appear everywhere with her beloved dog Devi, for whom she regularly begged for free trimmings and bones in the butcher shop.
But the worst manifestation of Getty’s stinginess was her attitude towards children. Henrietta’s daughter Silvia was born with a foot defect. The mother said that it was useless to go to the doctors, because they would not help in any way, but would only pull money out of her wallet.
But an even more terrible story happened to Getty’s son Ned. While playing on the street, the boy fell and broke his leg. Getty, instead of going to the family doctor, took the boy to a hospital for the poor. She did not take into account the fact that the whole city has long known her by sight and, moreover, it is easy to recognize her by her shabby black robe. The hospital refused to help the son of the richest woman in America for free, and then Getty decided to treat the child herself. She bought Ned the cheapest painkillers and left the boy at home. He soon got worse. Doctors could no longer help, and the child’s leg was amputated.
Ned Green was left without a leg because his mother, who owns millions, was stingy to give a few dollars for a doctor’s appointment and a plaster cast.
Getty Green died at the age of 81 in New York. The Guinness Book of Records called Getty the most miserly woman in the world, because even at her death hour she did not stop saving miserable cents: Getty died of apoplexy during a quarrel with her maid. The most stingy woman in the world proved to the servants that you can buy skim milk – it’s cheaper, and no one will notice the difference.
The fortune that Getty left after her death is estimated at 100-200 million dollars (according to revaluation for 2014 – from 2. 1 to 4.3 billion dollars). Getty bequeathed all her money to her son Ned. He shared his wealth with his sister, and quickly spent the rest on his hobbies and entertainment, including drunken sprees. His sister gave most of her inheritance to charity. Fortunately, she did not inherit her mother’s stinginess, but neither did she inherit business acumen. There was absolutely nothing left of the largest fortune in the world at that time.
Photo: Getty Images
Stingy friend / Prose of the day / Calend.ru magazine
They were alone at an empty bus stop, two women were waiting for a bus that would take them to the city from a quiet haven of the dead. Piglet of asphalt melted under the rays of the merciless July sun. It was very hot and I wanted shade, but there was no shade. An elderly woman took a bottle from her bag, moistened a handkerchief with water and put it on her head.
Photo licensed from pixabay.com
Need some water? – she turned to the girl sitting next to her. She shook her head negatively. – Bad luck, the drivers have a lunch break, another forty minutes to wait, if you’re lucky.
– Do they have a break? – the girl was surprised.
— Yes, I come here often, in the summer I try to get early, before the heat, but today I was late. My name is Baba Masha, and you?
– Olga.
– Olya, then. Who do you have here?
– Father, today is a memory.
– What is your name? Baptized?
– His name was Vladimir, baptized.
— Kingdom of heaven. And I have many relatives here, today I went to Verochka, my girlfriend. Here, take it, – the woman held out a bag of sweets and a pack of cookies. – You will remember. You just put it in your bag, they seem to have melted in the heat. If you knew, dear, what kind of person my Vera was, she saved me, who knows, she would be sitting here with you now.
— How is that? – the girl asked languidly, in order to brighten up the tedious waiting with something.
– We were friends with her for more than half a century, from youth, and you know, she was a good girl, correct, only very tight-fisted. You can understand, her mother raised her alone, they lived hungry, and new outfits are only for great holidays. Verochka and I worked together at the factory, we came in one year, and we became friends. It used to be that you invite her to dances or to the cinema in the evening, but she doesn’t go, it’s a pity for the money for a ticket, but what did it cost then? And I didn’t go to the factory canteen, I ate bites. And as for a dress from a salary or shoes – where is it, what kind of old woman did she dress. Once I gave her a cut on a dress for her name day, you couldn’t buy a good dress in a store before, they sewed it themselves.
— So, did everyone know how to sew? – Olga asked incredulously.
– Almost, in different ways, of course, but a dress or a simple skirt – why not sew? So, then Verochka did not take a gift, called me a spender and even seemed to be angry. But a few days later she came in a new thing, however, the fabric is old, apparently, her mother’s cut was, but you see, it became a shame that in the same one.
— And then?
– What then, they got married – she was the first, then I.
— Did they take Vera without fashionable dresses? – the girl suddenly smiled.
– Yes, there was one in our shop, I kept an eye on everything. Vera liked it because she saved on everything. Oh, and he was greedy, they will not remember that, Verochka suffered with him, suffered until his death – and his childhood was poor, and you couldn’t get married, but you had to raise children, they had two boys. So life passed, we buried our husbands, the children grew up, parted, and then a misfortune happened to me – the house burned down.
– How is it?
– Neighbor set it on fire, fell asleep with a cigarette. Our old house was two-storied, there were only twelve apartments. Wooden ceilings, shingles on the walls – blazed in an instant. Winter is in the yard, it’s night, we jumped out as we were, it’s good – we remained alive. The neighbor just died. I’m from relatives: I’ll live with some, then with others. The son came, called to him, but where to him, there is a family, there is not enough space for ourselves, and the city is foreign, then I got used to it. They looked for housing for me, there are few savings, we can’t buy anything. And then my Vera called, scolded that she had not come to live with her. I went, but in my heart, believe me, Olechka, I go and cry, I ask the Lord to clean me up. To remain in old age without your corner is scary. I came to Verochka, and she asks: “Am I thinking of buying an apartment.” And what to answer her, I’m just crying. Here she says, they say, there won’t be enough money for a big one, but she scored for a room. I refuse, but my Vera looked so angrily and said that she wouldn’t listen to me if I refused, she would buy it herself and write a deed of gift.