Men with add. Understanding Adult ADHD in Men: Symptoms and Impact on Romantic Relationships

How does adult ADHD affect men in romantic relationships. What are the common symptoms of ADD in adult males. Can ADHD partners understand each other better in relationships. How can couples with ADHD manage their symptoms together.

Table of Contents

The Allure of Men with ADHD: A Personal Perspective

Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) can significantly impact romantic relationships. As someone who has been in multiple relationships with men who have ADHD, I’ve gained unique insights into the challenges and rewards these partnerships can bring. While each individual is unique, there are common threads that run through these experiences.

My journey with ADHD partners began in college, where I dated a man with a severe case who was already on medication. This relationship taught me valuable lessons about the nature of ADHD and how to navigate its challenges in a romantic context. Subsequent relationships with men who had inattentive-type ADHD further deepened my understanding and appreciation for the unique qualities these individuals bring to a partnership.

Recognizing ADHD Symptoms in Adult Men

ADHD manifests differently in adults compared to children, and symptoms can vary between individuals. In men, common symptoms include:

Difficulty focusing on tasks
Impulsivity in decision-making
Tendency to leave projects unfinished
Challenges with organization and time management
Restlessness or hyperactivity
Mood swings and emotional volatility

Is it possible for ADHD symptoms to go undiagnosed until adulthood. Yes, many individuals, especially those with predominantly inattentive-type ADHD, may not receive a diagnosis until later in life. This can occur because their symptoms may be less disruptive in childhood or because they’ve developed coping mechanisms that mask their struggles.

The Double-Edged Sword: ADHD Traits in Relationships

While ADHD can present challenges in relationships, it can also bring unique strengths and positive qualities. Some of these include:

High levels of creativity and out-of-the-box thinking
Passionate engagement in interests (hyperfocus)
Spontaneity and a sense of adventure
Strong empathy and emotional sensitivity
Quick wit and humor

Can ADHD traits enhance a romantic relationship. Absolutely. The creativity, passion, and spontaneity that often accompany ADHD can bring excitement and novelty to a partnership. Many individuals with ADHD are deeply caring and empathetic, which can foster strong emotional connections with their partners.

Navigating Challenges in ADHD Relationships

While there are many positives, ADHD can also present significant challenges in romantic relationships. Some common issues include:

Difficulty with household management and organization
Struggles with time management and punctuality
Impulsive decision-making that affects both partners
Inconsistent attention and focus during conversations
Financial management issues due to impulsive spending

How can couples address these challenges effectively. Open communication, mutual understanding, and a willingness to work together are key. Developing systems and routines that support both partners’ needs, seeking professional help when needed, and maintaining patience and empathy can help navigate these difficulties.

The Power of Shared Understanding in ADHD Partnerships

One of the unique aspects of relationships where both partners have ADHD is the potential for deep mutual understanding. When both individuals experience similar challenges, it can create a sense of camaraderie and reduce feelings of judgment or frustration.

Do relationships where both partners have ADHD face unique challenges. While shared understanding can be beneficial, these relationships may also face intensified difficulties in areas like organization, time management, and emotional regulation. However, with proper support and strategies, these challenges can be managed effectively.

Strategies for Success in ADHD Partnerships

Develop shared organizational systems
Use technology for reminders and scheduling
Practice active listening techniques
Establish clear communication guidelines
Seek professional help when needed (therapy, coaching)
Create a supportive home environment

The Role of Medication and Treatment in ADHD Relationships

For many adults with ADHD, medication can play a crucial role in managing symptoms and improving daily functioning. In romantic relationships, this can translate to better communication, increased reliability, and improved emotional regulation.

Is medication always necessary for managing ADHD in relationships. No, medication is not always required. While it can be helpful for many individuals, others may find success with non-pharmacological treatments such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness practices, and lifestyle modifications. The best approach often involves a combination of strategies tailored to the individual’s needs.

Non-Medication Approaches to Managing ADHD

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
Mindfulness and meditation practices
Regular exercise and physical activity
Nutritional strategies (e.g., reducing sugar and processed foods)
Sleep hygiene improvements
Time management and organizational skills training

Embracing Neurodiversity in Romantic Relationships

Understanding ADHD as a form of neurodiversity rather than a disorder can shift perspectives and foster greater acceptance in relationships. This approach recognizes that different brain wiring can bring both challenges and unique strengths.

How can partners support each other’s neurodiversity. Cultivating empathy, celebrating each other’s strengths, and working together to develop strategies that accommodate both partners’ needs are essential. This may involve adapting communication styles, creating flexible routines, and finding compromises that work for both individuals.

Benefits of Neurodiversity in Relationships

Increased creativity and problem-solving abilities
Enhanced empathy and emotional depth
Exciting spontaneity and adventure
Unique perspectives and insights
Strong passion and dedication to shared interests

Building Long-Term Success in ADHD Relationships

While ADHD can present challenges in romantic relationships, many couples find ways to thrive and build strong, lasting partnerships. Key factors in long-term success include:

Mutual understanding and acceptance
Open and honest communication
Willingness to adapt and compromise
Shared responsibility for managing ADHD symptoms
Ongoing education about ADHD and its impact
Regular check-ins and relationship maintenance

Can ADHD relationships be as successful as neurotypical partnerships. Absolutely. While ADHD relationships may face unique challenges, they can also benefit from the creativity, passion, and deep understanding that often accompany neurodiversity. With commitment, understanding, and the right strategies, these relationships can be highly rewarding and successful.

The Importance of Self-Care in ADHD Relationships

In any relationship, self-care is crucial, but it takes on added importance when one or both partners have ADHD. Managing ADHD symptoms can be emotionally and mentally taxing, making it essential for individuals to prioritize their own well-being.

How can partners with ADHD practice effective self-care. Some strategies include:

Setting aside regular alone time for recharging
Engaging in hobbies and interests that bring joy
Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule
Practicing stress-reduction techniques like meditation or yoga
Seeking support from friends, family, or support groups
Regular exercise and physical activity

Does prioritizing self-care benefit the relationship as a whole. Absolutely. When both partners are taking care of their own mental and emotional health, they’re better equipped to support each other and navigate the challenges that come with ADHD in relationships.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Partners can work together to create a home environment that supports their ADHD management. This might include:

Designating specific areas for important items (keys, wallets, etc.)
Using visual reminders and calendars
Implementing a clutter-management system
Creating quiet spaces for focus and work
Establishing routines for household tasks

Navigating Intimacy and Emotional Connection with ADHD

ADHD can impact emotional regulation and intimacy in relationships. Some individuals may struggle with maintaining focus during intimate moments, while others may experience intense emotions that can be overwhelming for their partners.

How can couples maintain a strong emotional and physical connection despite ADHD challenges. Some strategies include:

Scheduling regular date nights or quality time together
Practicing mindfulness during intimate moments
Using touch as a grounding technique during conversations
Expressing appreciation and affection frequently
Being patient and understanding with each other’s emotional needs

Can ADHD enhance intimacy in relationships. In some cases, yes. The passion, creativity, and emotional intensity that often accompany ADHD can lead to deeply satisfying emotional and physical connections when channeled positively.

Communication Techniques for ADHD Couples

Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, but it can be particularly challenging when ADHD is involved. Some helpful techniques include:

Using “I” statements to express feelings and needs
Practicing active listening and repeating back what was heard
Setting aside specific times for important discussions
Using visual aids or written notes to reinforce verbal communication
Taking breaks during intense conversations to prevent overwhelm

The Role of Professional Support in ADHD Relationships

While many couples can navigate ADHD challenges on their own, professional support can be invaluable in some cases. This might include individual therapy, couples counseling, or working with an ADHD coach.

When should couples consider seeking professional help. Some signs that professional support might be beneficial include:

Recurring conflicts over ADHD-related issues
Feeling overwhelmed by the challenges of managing ADHD
Difficulty implementing effective strategies on your own
Experiencing a significant impact on relationship satisfaction
Needing support in developing communication and coping skills

Can professional support significantly improve ADHD relationships. Yes, many couples find that working with a therapist or coach who understands ADHD can provide valuable insights, strategies, and tools for managing challenges and strengthening their relationship.

Types of Professional Support for ADHD Couples

Individual therapy for ADHD management
Couples counseling focused on ADHD-related challenges
ADHD coaching for developing practical skills and strategies
Support groups for individuals or couples affected by ADHD
Family therapy to address broader relational dynamics

In conclusion, while ADHD can present unique challenges in romantic relationships, it also offers opportunities for deep understanding, creativity, and passionate connection. By embracing neurodiversity, developing effective strategies, and maintaining open communication, couples affected by ADHD can build strong, lasting, and fulfilling partnerships. Whether through self-help techniques, professional support, or a combination of approaches, there are many paths to success in ADHD relationships.

I’ve Got a Thing for Men with ADD

Three of my four most serious relationships all involved men with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD). I suspect the fourth as well. Only one was diagnosed at the time. But in later years they — and I — were finally overwhelmed by life, finally driven to the point of seeking help, finally realized we met the criteria laid out by the DSM for ADHD.

All are kind. All are blindly brilliant. All are very, very funny. One is predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation. My husband says sitting in class with me was like being around Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter: After staring out the window for 20 minutes, I’d either raise my hand and rattle off a brilliant answer or something wildly off-topic and mildly incoherent.

So I know a little bit about ADHD relationships: the good, the bad, and the really, really bad.

I learned the ADHD tricks early on with my diagnosed boyfriend, who had a fairly severe case and had been taking medication for years. We were in college then. He needed a high enough dosage that sleep problems were inevitable. He could fall asleep only while watching “The Hunt for Red October” or lying next to someone else and matching his breathing to theirs. I learned what hyperfocus meant from him, though I didn’t have a name for it then. I learned to touch him when I needed his attention and he was working, I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.

We also almost got married in Vegas before we could legally drink, ran away to Myrtle Beach while I was dating someone else, and kept a mess of a house. We were dangerous together, always up to something, always speeding through work to pursue some sort of mildly anti-social ends. We smoked cigarettes and consumed huge quantities of caffeine. This is what a young ADHD relationship tends to look like: a lot of impulsivity, a lot of drama, a lot of caffeine. We, mercifully, broke up before anything irrevocably bad happened.

[Self-Test: Could You Have Adult ADHD/ADD?]

Two other relationships with inattentive men were like coming home to something I didn’t know I’d missed. Both men are fiercely caring; the one I didn’t marry was in my wedding and remains my best friend. Both men are hilariously snarky when the need arises. Both men, also, naturally tend toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.

They understood and understand me. When I am not taking medication, my house is a legendary disaster area; even with medication, I haven’t mastered the art of a clean car. I get brilliant ideas for projects I never finish. I was addicted to nicotine for years, and my Red Bull, tea, and coffee consumption exceeds every Surgeon General’s warning.

For all the mess and chaos, for all the inability to cook (my husband and I exclusively ate out until our second son was born), for all the rushed deadlines and all-nighters and “rolling garbage mobiles” called cars, these men understand me. They don’t take it personally when I drift off, or when I’m hyperfocused and don’t hear them speaking. We joke about mess instead of castigating each other for it. No one harasses anyone else for caffeine consumption, for projects left undone, for grandiose plans that come to naught. We shrug at each other, go on with our days. That’s who we are.

It helps that by the time I dated both of them, I was self-aware enough to discuss my emotions — and they were far more mature than I was, if not in years than in self-concept and emotional management. It helps that we were able to talk things out. When our undiagnosed ADHD spiraled out of control, we brought each other up short: Look, you have to finish this or you will fail school. Look, we have to pull an all-nighter or neither of us will finish grading these papers. Look, we have a baby and we can’t see the floor for the mess and that’s a problem.

[Free Resource: Manage ADHD’s Impact on Your Relationship]

They occasionally indulged my impulsiveness, but mostly they kept my feet on the ground. “Don’t tell everyone you’re going to do something until you actually do it,” my husband told me. He helped me kick the cigarettes and develop some semblance of an internal sensor. Our cars are still full of trash. Our house is clean only because we’re medicated. But we understand that it’s hard to start things we find uninteresting and can encourage each other. We can bring each other out of hyperfocus when the kids are screaming and dinner needs to be cooked. Most of all, we understand why we act the way we act: there’s a mutual understanding there, a kind of sharing most ADHDers without spouses don’t have. I am deeply grateful for that.

No one harangues me for losing my phone, again. No one gets mad when I lock my keys in the car. There’s no exasperation when my husband shunts his grading off until the last minute and has to do take a day off from work to do it. We understand. It’s a gift.

I could never be with someone who’s predominantly impulsive again. The collective weight of irrational decision-making would eventually lead us to dissolution or jail. But inattentive men, when I’m of a mixed variety, work great. A lot of people with ADHD worry about being in a relationship with someone else who has it. I ask them this: Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who got you than someone who didn’t? Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who understands your struggles rather than having him watch them from the outside, confused about your motivations and behaviors?

I’m grateful for it every day. But I’m also grateful I never got married in Vegas.

[A Study of ADHD Marriages: Division of Labor from Both Perspectives]

Save

Updated on November 12, 2020

Previous Article Next Article

Husbands with ADD/ADHD | SACHS Center

According to the Wall Street Journal, some 10 million American adults suffer from ADD/ADHD. Even worse, less than 25 percent of these individuals know they even have it (but their wives probably do!).

Typically, the symptoms of ADD/ADHD first show themselves in childhood. However, as we mentioned, many, if not most, never receive a diagnosis or the help they need. What happens when a hyperactive, distracted, or inattentive child manages to get through adolescence and into adulthood without a diagnosis?

Until recently—nothing.

Historically, the medical establishment has focused on ADD/ADHD as a childhood disease. It was not until the 1980s that psychologists even began to entertain the idea that the disorder could progress well into adulthood. Before this time, symptoms of ADD/ADHD may have been integrated into alternative diagnoses including OCD, anxiety disorders, or even bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Such mislabeling could be highly problematic for the person affected and his family and friends.

As adults, those with ADD/ADHD may appear to be scattered, unfocused, unreliable, unpredictable, or simply annoying to co-workers, spouses, and pretty much anyone else who has to deal with them. They may have difficulty finding or holding down a job, their personal relationships may suffer, or they may just feel generally scattered and unhappy. These problems are compounded by years of underachievement, feelings of failure, depression, and low self-esteem.

Left untreated, men with ADD/ADHD are unlikely to do much of anything positive to reduce their symptoms on their own. Sure, they may self-medicate with alcohol or other substances, but this only magnifies the problem. The result of untreated ADD/ADHD can mean years of anger, frustration, and loneliness for their wives, who are often left to their own devices in terms of keeping their families from descending into chaos.

Lisa H., is an IT help-desk consultant with a major manufacturer in the Midwest. She described the conflicting emotions she wrestles with regarding her ADD/ADHD husband.

“Let me start off by saying that I love my husband. I really do,” she said. “Do I want to kill him sometimes? Oh my God, yes! Don’t get me wrong; he’s an incredibly loving, protective, and loyal husband and father. But, sometimes I feel like I have three children instead of two. It’s not that he isn’t a good provider, or that he’s an absentee parent—I mean he’s not physically absent, but mentally, sometimes I wonder.”

Does this mean that every insensitive, easily distracted husband suffers from ADD/ADHD? Of course not. It’s about the degree to which his issues negatively affect his life, career, and family. The greater the impairment in functioning, the higher the probability that he meets criteria for a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD.

Adult ADD/ADHD is a newly understood psychological disorder, which means it is not always easy to obtain an accurate diagnosis. As previously stated, some of the symptoms associated with ADD/ADHD are also seen in patients with anxiety or other psychological disorders. The challenge for psychologists and psychiatrists is to determine the primary disorder that needs to be treated. Are your husband’s challenges related to his anxiety, ADD/ADHD, depression, or all three?

If you are like most wives of men with ADD/ADHD, you may have asked yourself, “Is my husband annoying because he likes to drive me crazy or does he really suffer from an identifiable problem?” Until recently, therapists may have tried to treat the symptoms without recognizing that their adult patient also suffers from ADD/ADHD. If you can be married to someone for over 20 years and still miss it, then someone who has only had a few sessions with him may not notice it, either.

To top it off, some women prefer men with ADD/ADHD. They may not see it as a problem. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, men with ADD/ADHD are often quick, smart and creative. They possess great charisma, and can be brilliant in the areas that capture their interest. Some of these men achieve tremendous success, despite having to cope with the difficulties presented by ADD/ADHD. When an individual suffers from a particular problem for a long time, he often comes up with creative and functional ways to cope with it.

For example, according to a report in the Wall Street Journal, David Neeleman, the founder of JetBlue Airways, and Paul Orfalea, founder of Kinkos, have stated that their ADD/ADHD helped them come up with innovative ideas for their corporations, despite their poor academic history. When it comes down to it, there are two kinds of intelligence: book smarts and street smarts. Although men with ADD/ADHD may lack the skills to turn in perfect papers or perform on standardized tests, their fast-moving brains and creativity may have helped them develop into successful “out-of-the-box” thinkers who could transform whole industries.

Nevertheless, these types of success stories are rare exceptions. The vast majority of wives can testify to the fact that living with an ADD/ADHD man is a daily struggle, full of large and small frustrations that only add to an already stressful life. (But if you are reading this book, you already know this.)

So what do we know about ADD/ADHD in adults?

Let’s start with what ADD/ADHD is not. ADD/ADHD is not the result of bad parenting, childhood trauma, or any environmental factors. Instead it is a disorder in brain function. Genetics also play a large role in the development of ADD/ADHD. Eight out of ten people diagnosed with ADD/ADHD have at least one parent with the disorder. This is also important information if you are wondering if your child has ADD/ADHD. Chances are one of them might.

More specifically, ADD/ADHD stems from miscommunication between different parts of the brain. This disconnect seems to be exacerbated by an imbalance in neurotransmitters, the chemical messengers that relay signals within the brain. This is particularly evident in the frontal cortex, which controls planning, impulse control and other “executive functions.”

In young children, particularly boys, ADD/ADHD can manifest as constant motion. That’s the reason for the “H” in ADHD: it stands for “hyperactive.” The constant need for movement does not just mean that the motor never stops running. It makes many vital tasks—such as sitting still and learning in school (or, later in life, listening to one’s spouse)—much more difficult. Before anything seems to start, the train has already left the station.

Psychologists and parents also face the challenge of trying to determine the difference between ADD/ADHD symptoms and normal “kid stuff.” With boys, ADD/ADHD often goes undiagnosed for years, because parents assume the symptoms are just “boys will be boys,” a passing phase, or due to growth spurts. By the time it becomes clear that the problems are more pronounced, many years have already passed.

With adult men, the symptoms of ADD/ADHD manifest themselves in a different manner. The hyperactivity common to pediatric ADD/ADHD now appear as impulsivity, procrastination and organizational deficits. Certain struggles, like the ability to set priorities or focus on the task at hand, start to interfere with normal functioning in much more detrimental ways. Managing time and money also pose huge challenges for ADD/ADHD men—and their wives, who must swoop in to pick up the pieces. Nevertheless, pinning such life-skill challenges on ADD/ADHD is not always so easy. How does a wife know when she’s dealing with a full-blown case of ADD/ADHD?

Dr. Ivan K. Goldberg is a psychiatrist in New York City who co-developed a commonly used test to screen for ADD/ADHD. Assigning a diagnosis, he pointed out, depends on the “amount and intensity” of the dysfunction. As we have pointed out, Dr. Goldberg regards ADD/ADHD as “disturbance of the executive functions of the brain. It’s the inability to plan things, to initiate them at the appropriate time, not to skip any of the steps, and to terminate them at the appropriate time. An awful lot of these people are very bright, but they can’t keep it together, they keep screwing things up.”

Rob C., 38, works for a social service agency in New York City. As someone with ADD/ADHD, Rob identifies with Dr. Goldberg’s worlds. “There’s a huge incidence of depression, because you are continually failing in the eyes of others, not reaching your potential,” he said. “People recognize you are smart, and you can’t find your niche.” The sense of failure may kick in at a particular point in an ADD/ADHD man’s career, or it may follow them through a series of life transitions, adding a not-so-silent commentary to the soundtrack of their lives. Many times, men with ADD/ADHD have developed coping mechanisms that help them advance fairly far. They may find a good job, or get into law school, or get married — only to hit a wall when their coping mechanisms break down.

Dr. Peter Jaksa, who suffers from ADD/ADHD himself, works as a clinical psychologist in Chicago. He vividly remembers when his ADD/ADHD began to get the better of him, long after graduate school when he was already in practice, working with underachieving kids. “Once you know what it is, things make sense that didn’t make sense previously,” he said. As an example, he vividly recalled his pattern of writing every college paper the night before it was due, with a six-pack of Mountain Dew and a box of Red Bull at his side.

Ultimately, even when men with ADD/ADHD enjoy professional success—and many do not—it comes with a cost. Living life constantly behind the eight-ball takes a toll in terms of wasted time, choppy family life, and frayed nerves for everyone involved.

“If your husband has ADD/ADHD, his level of distraction and disorganization interferes with the basics of his life, causing a major impairment,” Dr. Jaksa said. “Impairment is the magic word. Everyone gets distracted. Who’s not late occasionally? But if you are chronically late, you lose your job and maybe your friends as well.”

John K., a writer currently living Miami, at first tried to confine his messy habits to his bedroom, figuring that he could laugh it off as one of the perks of being single. It was not long before the mess spread throughout his entire house. Bills went unpaid. Projects lay unfinished. Deadlines came and went. At one point, he found himself involved in a string of minor car accidents that he could never explain. At age 35, he could no longer pass off these occurrences as a case of extended adolescence. Certainly, the women in his life no longer felt like giving him a pass. Instead, he felt as if his life was spiraling out of control.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get my life in order,” he said. “I just wasn’t capable of doing it. There’s a big difference between not doing something because you don’t want to and not doing something because, for some reason, you simply can’t. ”

It’s not always just ADD/ADHD that affects relationships, but the concurrent disorders often associated with it. In his book, Driven to Distraction, Dr. Edward Hallowell calls attention to a number of disorders that may accompany ADD/ADHD. These include depression, anxiety, agitation or mania, substance abuse, Conduct Disorder, Oppositional Disorder, Borderline Personality features, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and/or learning disorders.

ADD/ADHD has even been linked to criminal behavior. A study of prisoners in Norrtälje Prison in Sweden estimated that four out of ten of the inmates there had ADD/ADHD, with only 6.6 percent receiving an early childhood diagnosis of the disorder. All subjects reported substance abuse, and mood and anxiety disorders were present in half of the subjects.

In 2009, researchers at the Adult Attention Deficit Disorder Center of Maryland at Johns Hopkins University looked at studies done between 1998 and 2008 on the prevalence, persistence, and consequences of ADD/AHDH in adults. They also looked at the relationship between adult ADD/ADHD and mood disorders. Results showed that most children with ADD/ADHD had symptoms that persisted into adulthood. When left untreated, these behaviors adversely affect school and work achievements, diminish self-esteem, damage interpersonal relationships, and significantly reduce quality of life for adults.

Before we move on to a more detailed exploration of the various ways in which ADD/ADHD can affect your relationship and what you can do about it, let’s take a moment to review the top ten ways in which ADD/ADHD manifests itself in adult men. The following list of problems is described in more detail at WebMD.com. If you see five or more of these symptoms leading to impaired functioning, you may want to encourage your husband to obtain a full diagnosis from a competent professional.

Difficulty Getting Organized
Reckless Driving and/or Traffic Accidents
Marital Trouble
Extremely Distractible
Poor Listening Skills
Restlessness, Trouble Relaxing
Inability to Start Tasks
Chronic Lateness
Frequent Angry Outbursts

Adult ADHD and Relationships – HelpGuide.

org

adhd

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can cause misunderstandings, frustrations, and resentments in your closest relationships. But there are ways to build a healthier, happier partnership.

How does ADHD or ADD affect relationships?

While the distractibility, disorganization, and impulsivity of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) can cause problems in many areas of adult life, these symptoms can be particularly damaging when it comes to your closest relationships. This is especially true if the symptoms of ADHD have never been properly diagnosed or treated.

If you’re the person with ADHD, you may feel like you’re constantly being criticized, nagged, and micromanaged. No matter what you do, nothing seems to please your spouse or partner. You don’t feel respected as an adult, so you find yourself avoiding your partner or saying whatever you have to in order to get them off your back. You wish your significant other could relax even a little bit and stop trying to control every aspect of your life. You wonder what happened to the person you fell in love with.

If you’re in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, you may feel lonely, ignored, and unappreciated. You’re tired of taking care of everything on your own and being the only responsible party in the relationship. You don’t feel like you can rely on your partner. They never seem to follow through on promises, and you’re forced to constantly issue reminders and demands or else just do things yourself. Sometimes it feels as if your significant other just doesn’t care.

It’s easy to see how the feelings on both sides can contribute to a destructive cycle in the relationship. The non-ADHD partner complains, nags, and becomes increasingly resentful while the ADHD partner, feeling judged and misunderstood, gets defensive and pulls away. In the end, nobody is happy. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can build a healthier, happier partnership by learning about the role ADHD plays in your relationship and how both of you can choose more positive and productive ways to respond to challenges and communicate with each other. With these strategies you can add greater understanding to your relationship and bring you closer together.

Understanding the role of ADHD in adult relationships

Transforming your relationship starts with understanding the role that ADHD plays. Once you are able to identify how the symptoms are ADHD are influencing your interactions as a couple, you can learn better ways of responding. For the partner with ADHD, this means learning how to manage your symptoms. For the non-ADHD partner, this means learning how to react to frustrations in ways that encourage and motivate your partner.

Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems

Trouble paying attention. If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don’t remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one.

Forgetfulness. Even when someone with ADHD is paying attention, they may later forget what was promised or discussed. When it’s your spouse’s birthday or the formula you said you’d pick up, your partner may start to feel like you don’t care or that you’re unreliable.

Poor organizational skills. This can lead to difficulty finishing tasks as well as general household chaos. Partners may feel like they’re always cleaning up after the person with ADHD and shouldering a disproportionate amount of the family duties.

Impulsivity. If you have ADHD, you may blurt things out without thinking, which can cause hurt feelings. This impulsivity can also lead to irresponsible and even reckless behavior (for example, making a big purchase that isn’t in the budget, leading to fights over finances).

Emotional outbursts. Many people with ADHD have trouble moderating their emotions. You may lose your temper easily and have trouble discussing issues calmly. Your partner may feel like they have to walk on eggshells to avoid blowups.

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes

The first step in turning your relationship around is learning to see things from your partner’s perspective. If you’ve been together a long time or you’ve had the same fights again and again, you might think that you already understand where your partner is coming from. But don’t underestimate how easy it is to misinterpret your partner’s actions and intentions. You and your partner are more different than you think—especially if only one of you has ADHD. And just because you’ve heard it all before doesn’t mean you’ve truly taken in what your partner is saying. When emotions are running high, as they usually do around ADHD relationship issues, it’s particularly difficult to maintain objectivity and perspective.

The best way to put yourself in your partner’s shoes is to ask and then simply listen. Find a time to sit down and talk when you’re not already upset. Let your partner describe how they feel without interruption from you to explain or defend yourself. When your partner is finished, repeat back the main points you’ve heard them say, and ask if you understood correctly. You may want to write the points down so you can reflect on them later. When your partner is finished, it’s your turn. Ask them to do the same for you and really listen with fresh ears and an open mind.

Tips for increasing understanding in your relationship

Study up on ADHD. The more both of you learn about ADHD and its symptoms, the easier it will be to see how it is influencing your relationship. You may find that a light bulb comes on. So many of your issues as a couple finally make sense! Remembering that an ADHD brain is hardwired differently than a brain without ADHD can help the non-ADHD partner take symptoms less personally. For the partner with ADHD, it can be a relief to understand what’s behind some of your behaviors—and know that there are steps you can take to manage your symptoms.

Acknowledge the impact your behavior has on your partner. If you’re the one with ADHD, it’s important to recognize how your untreated symptoms affect your partner. If you’re the non-ADHD partner, consider how your nagging and criticism makes your spouse feel. Don’t dismiss your partner’s complaints or disregard them because you don’t like the way they bring it up or react to you.

Separate who your partner is from their symptoms or behaviors. Instead of labeling your partner “irresponsible,” recognize their forgetfulness and lack of follow-through as symptoms of ADHD. Remember, symptoms aren’t character traits. The same goes for the non-ADHD partner too. Recognize that nagging usually arises from feelings of frustration and stress, not because your partner is an unsympathetic harpy.

How the partner with ADHD often feels:
Different. The brain is often racing, and people with ADHD experience the world in a way that others don’t easily understand or relate to.
Overwhelmed, secretly or overtly, by the constant stress caused by ADHD symptoms. Keeping daily life under control takes much more work than others realize. Even if it’s not always apparent, ADHD can make someone feel like they’re struggling to keep their head above water.
Subordinate to their spouses. Their partners spend a good deal of time correcting them or running the show. The corrections make them feel incompetent, and often contribute to a parent-child dynamic. Men can describe these interactions as making them feel emasculated.
Shamed. They often hide a large amount of shame, sometimes compensating with bluster or retreat.
Unloved and unwanted. Constant reminders from spouses, bosses, and others that they should “change,” reinforce that they are unloved as they are.
Afraid to fail again. As their relationships worsen, the potential of punishment for failure increases. But their inconsistencies resulting from ADHD mean that this partner will fail at some point. Anticipating failure results in reluctance to try.
Longing to be accepted. One of the strongest emotional desires of those with ADHD is to be loved as they are, in spite of imperfections.

How the non-ADHD partner often feels:
Unwanted or unloved. The lack of attention is interpreted as lack of interest rather than distraction. One of the most common dreams is to be “cherished,” and to receive the attention from one’s spouse that this implies.
Angry and emotionally blocked. Anger and resentment permeate many interactions with the ADHD spouse. Sometimes this anger is expressed as disconnection. In an effort to control angry interactions, some non-ADHD spouses try to block their feelings by bottling them up inside.
Incredibly stressed out. Non-ADHD spouses often carry the vast proportion of the family responsibilities and can never let their guard down. Life could fall apart at any time because of the ADHD spouse’s inconsistency.
Ignored and offended. To a non-ADHD spouse, it doesn’t make sense that the ADHD spouse doesn’t act on the non-ADHD partner’s experience and advice more often when it’s “clear” what needs to be done.
Exhausted and depleted. The non-ADHD spouse carries too many responsibilities and no amount of effort seems to fix the relationship.
Frustrated. A non-ADHD spouse might feel as if the same issues keep coming back over and over again (a sort of boomerang effect).
Adapted from The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps, by Melissa C. Orlov

Take responsibility for your role

Once you’ve put yourself in your partner’s shoes, it’s time to accept responsibility for your role in the relationship. Progress starts once you become aware of your own contributions to the problems you have as a couple. This goes for the non-ADHD partner as well.

While the ADHD partner’s symptoms may trigger an issue, the symptoms alone aren’t to blame for the relationship problem. The way the non-ADHD partner responds to the bothersome symptom can either open the door for cooperation and compromise or provoke misunderstandings and hurt feelings. If you’re the one with ADHD, you’re also responsible for the way you react to your partner’s concerns. Your reaction can either make your significant other feel validated and heard or disregarded and ignored.

Break free of the parent-child dynamic

Many couples feel stuck in an unsatisfying parent-child type of relationship, with the non-ADHD partner in the role of the parent and the partner with ADHD in the role of the child. It often starts when the partner with ADHD fails to follow through on tasks, such as forgetting to pay the cable bill, leaving clean laundry in a pile on the bed, or leaving the kids stranded after promising to pick them up. The non-ADHD partner takes on more and more of the household responsibilities.

The more lopsided the partnership becomes, the more resentful they feel. It becomes harder to appreciate the ADHD spouse’s positive qualities and contributions. Of course, the partner with ADHD senses this. They start to feel like there’s no point to even trying and dismisses the non-ADHD spouse as controlling and impossible to please. So what can you do to break this pattern?

Tips for the non-ADHD partner:

You can’t control your spouse, but you can control your own actions. Put an immediate stop to verbal attacks and nagging. Neither gets results.
Encourage your partner when they make progress and acknowledge achievements and efforts.
When possible, try to focus on your partner’s intentions, rather than what they actually do. They may lose concentration when listening to you, for example, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about what you have to say.
Stop trying to “parent” your partner. It is destructive to your relationship and demotivating to your spouse.

Tips for the partner with ADHD:

Acknowledge the fact that your ADHD symptoms are interfering with your relationship. It’s not just a case of your partner being unreasonable.
Explore treatment options. As you learn to manage your symptoms and become more reliable, your partner will ease off.
If strong emotions derail conversations with your partner, agree in advance that you need to take a time out to calm down and refocus before continuing.
Find ways to spoil your spouse. If your partner feels cared for by you—even in small ways—they will feel less like your parent.

Stop fighting and start communicating

As you’ve already seen, communication often breaks down between partners when ADHD is in the mix. One partner feels overburdened. The other feels attacked. They end up fighting each other rather than tackling the issue.

To improve communication, do what you can to defuse emotional volatility. If need be, take time to cool off before discussing an issue. When you have the conversation, listen closely to your partner. Ask yourself what you’re really arguing about. What’s the deeper issue?

For example: A couple fights over dinner being an hour late. The husband, who doesn’t have ADHD, is upset over more than his empty stomach. He feels frustrated with his wife’s lack of reliability and attention (I work hard to provide for her! Why don’t I ever get any TLC? If she cared for me, she’d make more of an effort!). The ADHD wife feels overwhelmed and unfairly judged (I have so much to take care of around the house. It’s hard for me to keep on top of everything and I lost track of time. How does that make me a bad wife?).

Once you identify the real issue, it’s much easier to resolve the problem. In this example, the husband would be less upset if he realized that his wife’s chronic lateness and disorganization isn’t personal. It’s a symptom of untreated ADHD. For her part, once the wife understands that a timely dinner makes her husband feel loved and appreciated, she’ll be more motivated to make it happen.

Don’t bottle up your emotions. Fess up to your feelings, no matter how ugly. Get them out in the open where you can work through them as a couple.

You’re not a mind reader. Don’t make assumptions about your partner’s motivations. Avoid the “if my spouse really loved me…” trap. If your partner does something that upsets you, address it directly rather than silently stewing.

Watch what you say and how you say it. Avoid critical words and questions that put your partner on the defensive (“Why can’t you ever do what you said you would?” or “How many times do I have to tell you?”).

Find the humor in the situation. Learn to laugh over the inevitable miscommunications and misunderstandings. Laughter relieves tension and brings you closer together.

Improving your communication skills when you have ADHD

ADHD symptoms can interfere with communication. The following tips can help you have more satisfying conversations with your partner and other people.

Communicate face to face whenever possible. Nonverbal cues such as eye contact, tone of voice, and gestures communicate much more than words alone. To understand the emotion behind the words, you need to communicate with your partner in person, rather than via phone, text, or email.

Listen actively and don’t interrupt. While the other person is talking, make an effort to maintain eye contact. If you find your mind wandering, mentally repeat their words so you follow the conversation. Make an effort to avoid interrupting.

Ask questions. Instead of launching into whatever is on your mind—or the many things on your mind—ask the other person a question. It will let them know you’re paying attention.

Request a repeat. If your attention wanders, tell the other person as soon as you realize it and ask them to repeat what was just said. If you let the conversation go too long when your mind is elsewhere, it will only get tougher to re-connect.

Manage your emotions. If you’re unable to discuss certain subjects without flying off the handle or saying things you later regret, consider practicing mindfulness meditation. As well as helping to lower impulsivity and improve focus, regular mindfulness meditation can offer you greater control over your emotions and prevent the emotional outbursts that can be so damaging to a relationship. HelpGuide’s free Emotional Intelligence Toolkit can show you how.

Work together as a team

Just because one partner has ADHD doesn’t mean you can’t have a balanced, mutually fulfilling relationship. The key is to learn to work together as a team. A healthy relationship involves give and take, with both individuals participating fully in the partnership and looking for ways to support each other.

Take some time on both sides to identify what you’re good at and which tasks are most challenging for you. If your spouse is strong in an area in which you’re weak, perhaps they can take over that responsibility, and vice versa. It should feel like an equal exchange. If you’re both weak in a certain area, brainstorm how to get outside help. For example, if neither of you are good with money, you could hire a bookkeeper or research money management apps that make budgeting easier.

Divide tasks and stick to them. The non-ADHD partner may be more suited to handling the bills and doing the errands, while you manage the children and cooking.

Schedule weekly sit-downs. Meet once a week to address issues and assess progress you’ve made as a couple.

Evaluate the division of labor. Make a list of chores and responsibilities and rebalance the workload if either one of you is shouldering the bulk of the load.

Delegate, outsource, and automate. You and your partner don’t have to do everything yourselves. If you have children, assign them chores. You might also consider hiring a cleaning service, signing up for grocery delivery, or setting up automatic bill payments.

Split up individual tasks, if necessary. If the partner with ADHD has trouble completing tasks, the non-ADHD partner may need to step in as the “closer.” Account for this in your arrangement to avoid resentments.

Create a practical plan

If you have ADHD, you probably aren’t very good at organizing or setting up systems. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t able to follow a plan once it’s in place. This is an area where the non-ADHD partner can provide invaluable assistance. They can help you set up a system and routine you can rely on to help you stay on top of your responsibilities.

Start by analyzing the most frequent things you fight about, such as chores or chronic lateness. Then think about practical things you can do to solve them. For forgotten chores, it might be a big wall calendar with checkboxes next to each person’s daily tasks. For chronic lateness, you might set up a calendar on your smartphone, complete with timers to remind you of upcoming events.

Helping your partner with ADHD

Develop a routine. Your partner will benefit from the added structure. Schedule in the things you both need to accomplish and consider set times for meals, exercise, and sleep.

Set up external reminders. This can be in the form of a dry erase board, sticky notes, or a to-do list on your phone.

Control clutter. People with ADHD have a hard time getting and staying organized, but clutter adds to the feeling that their lives are out of control. Help your partner set up a system for dealing with clutter and staying organized.

Ask the ADHD partner to repeat requests. To avoid misunderstandings, have your partner repeat what you have agreed upon.

Author: Melinda Smith, M.A.

20 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with ADD/ADHD – ADD Resource Center

By June Silny

It’s a fact; a person with ADD is hard to love. You never know what to say. It’s like walking through a minefield. You tiptoe around; unsure which step (or word) will be the one that sets off an explosion of emotion. It’s something you try to avoid.

People who have ADD/ADHD are suffering. Life is more difficult for them than the average person. Everything is intense and magnified. Their brilliant minds are constantly in gear creating, designing, thinking and never resting. Imagine what it would feel like to have a merry-go-round in your mind that never stops spinning.

From emotional outbursts to polar opposite extremes; ADD presents several behaviors that can be harmful to relationships. ADD is a mysterious condition of opposites and extremes. For instance, when it comes to concentration, people with ADD cannot concentrate when they are emotional or when their thoughts are distracted. However, when they are interested in a specific topic, they zone in so deep that it’s hard to pull them out of that zone. Starting a project is a challenge; but stopping it is an even bigger challenge.

True love is unconditional, but ADD presents situations that test your limits of love. Whether it’s your child, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or soon-to-be spouse, ADD tests every relationship. The best way to bring peace into both your lives is to learn a new mindset to deal with the emotional roller-coaster that ADD brings all-day-every-day.

Understanding what a person with ADD feels like will help you become more patient, tolerant, compassionate, and loving. Your relationships will become more enjoyable and peaceful. This is what goes on in the mind of a person with ADD/ADHD:

1. They have an active mind

The ADD brain doesn’t stop. There’s no on/off switch. There are no brakes that bring it to a halt. It is a burden that one must learn to manage.

2.

They listen but don’t absorb what is being said

A person with ADD will look at you, hear your words, watch your lips move, but after the first five words their mind is on a journey. They can still hear you speak, but their thoughts are in outer space. They are thinking about how your lips are moving or how your hair is out of place.

3. They have difficulty staying on task

Instead of keeping the focus on what’s in front of them, people with ADD are staring at the colors in the painting on the wall. Like walking through a labyrinth, they start moving in one direction, but keep changing directions to find the way out.

4. They become anxious easily

As deep thinkers, they are sensitive to whatever is going on around them. Being in a noisy restaurant can sound like you are standing in the front row at a Metallica concert. A depressing news snippet can set them into end-of-the-world mode.

5. They can’t concentrate when they are emotional

If there is something worrisome going on, or if they are upset, a person with ADD cannot think of anything else. This makes concentration on work, conversation, and social situations almost impossible.

When the doors of their mind open, the person with ADD dives in like a scuba diver jumping into the deep ocean.

7. They have difficulty stopping a task when they are in the zone

And under the deep ocean is where they stay for hours. Even when their oxygen is running low, if they are enjoying the view, they won’t come up for air until they’re almost out of oxygen.

8. They are unable to regulate their emotions

For a person with ADD, their emotions are flying wild, out of proportion and cannot be contained. The tangled wires in their brilliant brains make thought and feelings difficult to process. They need extra time to get their systems up and running properly.

9. They have verbal outbursts

Their intense emotions are hard to regulate. Since they impulsively say whatever they think, they often say things they later regret. It’s almost impossible for them to edit their words before they release them.

10. They have social anxiety

Feeling uncomfortable knowing that they are different, people with ADD are often uncomfortable in social situations. They are afraid they will say something foolish or react inappropriately. Holding back feels safer.

11. They are deeply intuitive

For people with ADD, the surface is an invisible exterior that they penetrate. They see beyond it. This is the most enjoyable aspect of ADD. This inspirational trait is what makes creative geniuses. Inventors, artists, musicians, and writers thrive in this zone.

12. They think out of the box

Another wonderful aspect of ADD is that because they think differently, their abstract minds see solutions to problems that the concrete thinker cannot see.

13. They are impatient and fidgety

Annoyed easily, wanting things to happen immediately, and constantly playing with their phones, twirling their hair, or bouncing their leg up and down; a person with ADD needs constant motion. It’s a calming Zen activity for them.

14. They are physically sensitive

Pencils feel heavy in their hand. Fibers in fabric that most people wouldn’t feel can be itchy. Beds are bumpy. Food has textures you can’t imagine. Like The Princess and the Pea, they can feel a pea under twenty mattresses.

15. They are disorganized

Piles are their favorite method of organizing. Once a task is complete, papers related to it are placed in a pile, where they stay until the piles grow too high. That’s when the person with ADD becomes overwhelmed, frustrated, and cleans up. People with ADD have to be careful to not become hoarders. It’s hard for a person with ADD to keep things in order because their brain doesn’t function in an orderly manner.

16. They need space to pace

When talking on the phone or having a conversation, people with ADD think better when they are in motion. Movement is calming and brings clarity to their thoughts.

17. They avoid tasks

Making decisions or completing tasks on time is a struggle. Not because they are lazy or irresponsible, but because their minds are full of options and possibilities. Choosing one can be problematic. It’s easy to avoid making decisions because they are over-thinkers. They obsess and dwell in the depths of their own minds.

18. They can’t remember simple tasks

Another paradoxical trait of ADD is memory. People with ADD can’t remember to pick up their clothes at the cleaners, milk at the grocery store, or appointments. On the other hand; they remember every comment, quote, and phone number they heard during the day. No matter how many post-its or calendar reminders they set; their distracted mind is always elsewhere. Visible items are easier to remember. That’s why they have fifteen windows open on their desktop.

Due to the constant activity in their mind, once a task is finished, they are ready to move on to the next task without closing up the prior task. The more going on at once, the better. Multi-tasking is one of their favorite activites.

20. They are passionate about everything they do

The emotions, thoughts, words, and touch of a person with ADD is powerful. Everything is magnified. This is a blessing when channeled properly. When a person with ADD does something, they do it with their heart and soul. They give it all they’ve got. They are intense, perceptive, and deep. This quality is what makes the person with ADD so lovable.

Basically, a person with ADD/ADHD has trouble controlling their impulses. They also have many awesome qualities that you will enjoy once you understand how they think and feel. Compassion, empathy and patience will carry you through the most difficult times. It’s important to take extra care of yourself; take alone time regularly, do what you enjoy, find a support group, a therapist or a compassionate wise friend, take frequent vacations, meditate, find hobbies and your own passion. Most of all, learn how to breathe.

Some of the greatest inventors, artists, musicians, entrepreneurs, and writers had ADD/ADHD. They succeeded because they had a loved one just like you supporting them through their daily struggles. Replace your anger with compassion. Realize how they struggle to do what comes easy to you. Think of the ADD brain, as one with electrical wiring in the wrong circuits. Next time you think that they are lazy, irresponsible, disorganized, and avoiding responsibilities; try to remember how hard they have to work extra hard to achieve a simple task.

Yes, ADD/ADHD people are hard to love, but once you understand the burden they are carrying, your heart will open up. Love and compassion will take the place of anger. You will see into their sweet and good soul.

Adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) – Symptoms and causes

Overview

Adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental health disorder that includes a combination of persistent problems, such as difficulty paying attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. Adult ADHD can lead to unstable relationships, poor work or school performance, low self-esteem, and other problems.

Though it’s called adult ADHD, symptoms start in early childhood and continue into adulthood. In some cases, ADHD is not recognized or diagnosed until the person is an adult. Adult ADHD symptoms may not be as clear as ADHD symptoms in children. In adults, hyperactivity may decrease, but struggles with impulsiveness, restlessness and difficulty paying attention may continue.

Treatment for adult ADHD is similar to treatment for childhood ADHD. Adult ADHD treatment includes medications, psychological counseling (psychotherapy) and treatment for any mental health conditions that occur along with ADHD.

Products & Services

Show more products from Mayo Clinic

Symptoms

Some people with ADHD have fewer symptoms as they age, but some adults continue to have major symptoms that interfere with daily functioning. In adults, the main features of ADHD may include difficulty paying attention, impulsiveness and restlessness. Symptoms can range from mild to severe.

Many adults with ADHD aren’t aware they have it — they just know that everyday tasks can be a challenge. Adults with ADHD may find it difficult to focus and prioritize, leading to missed deadlines and forgotten meetings or social plans. The inability to control impulses can range from impatience waiting in line or driving in traffic to mood swings and outbursts of anger.

Adult ADHD symptoms may include:

Impulsiveness
Disorganization and problems prioritizing
Poor time management skills
Problems focusing on a task
Trouble multitasking
Excessive activity or restlessness
Poor planning
Low frustration tolerance
Frequent mood swings
Problems following through and completing tasks
Hot temper
Trouble coping with stress

What’s typical behavior and what’s ADHD?

Almost everyone has some symptoms similar to ADHD at some point in their lives. If your difficulties are recent or occurred only occasionally in the past, you probably don’t have ADHD. ADHD is diagnosed only when symptoms are severe enough to cause ongoing problems in more than one area of your life. These persistent and disruptive symptoms can be traced back to early childhood.

Diagnosis of ADHD in adults can be difficult because certain ADHD symptoms are similar to those caused by other conditions, such as anxiety or mood disorders. And many adults with ADHD also have at least one other mental health condition, such as depression or anxiety.

When to see a doctor

If any of the symptoms listed above continually disrupt your life, talk to your doctor about whether you might have ADHD.

Different types of health care professionals may diagnose and supervise treatment for ADHD. Seek a provider who has training and experience in caring for adults with ADHD.

Causes

While the exact cause of ADHD is not clear, research efforts continue. Factors that may be involved in the development of ADHD include:

Genetics. ADHD can run in families, and studies indicate that genes may play a role.
Environment. Certain environmental factors also may increase risk, such as lead exposure as a child.
Problems during development. Problems with the central nervous system at key moments in development may play a role.

Risk factors

Risk of ADHD may increase if:

You have blood relatives, such as a parent or sibling, with ADHD or another mental health disorder
Your mother smoked, drank alcohol or used drugs during pregnancy
As a child, you were exposed to environmental toxins — such as lead, found mainly in paint and pipes in older buildings
You were born prematurely

Complications

ADHD can make life difficult for you. ADHD has been linked to:

Poor school or work performance
Unemployment
Financial problems
Trouble with the law
Alcohol or other substance misuse
Frequent car accidents or other accidents
Unstable relationships
Poor physical and mental health
Poor self-image
Suicide attempts

Coexisting conditions

Although ADHD doesn’t cause other psychological or developmental problems, other disorders often occur along with ADHD and make treatment more challenging. These include:

Mood disorders. Many adults with ADHD also have depression, bipolar disorder or another mood disorder. While mood problems aren’t necessarily due directly to ADHD, a repeated pattern of failures and frustrations due to ADHD can worsen depression.
Anxiety disorders. Anxiety disorders occur fairly often in adults with ADHD. Anxiety disorders may cause overwhelming worry, nervousness and other symptoms. Anxiety can be made worse by the challenges and setbacks caused by ADHD.
Other psychiatric disorders. Adults with ADHD are at increased risk of other psychiatric disorders, such as personality disorders, intermittent explosive disorder and substance use disorders.
Learning disabilities. Adults with ADHD may score lower on academic testing than would be expected for their age, intelligence and education. Learning disabilities can include problems with understanding and communicating.

Efficacy and Safety of Vibegron Add-on Therapy in Men With Persistent Storage Symptoms After Receiving Alpha 1-Blocker or Phosphodiesterase 5 Inhibitor: A Preliminary Study

Objective:

To investigate the efficacy and safety of vibegron add-on therapy in men with persistent storage symptoms receiving α-1 blockers or PDE5 inhibitor for benign prostatic hyperplasia and then determine the independent factors affecting the efficacy of vibegron.

Methods:

Vibegron 50 mg was administered for 12 weeks to 42 patients (72.0 ± 8.2 years) with persistent storage symptoms who had taken α-1 blockers (22 patients) or PDE5 inhibitor (20 patients). The primary endpoint was change in the overactive Bladder (OAB) Symptom Score from baseline to end of treatment. The secondary endpoints were changes in each question of several questionnaires, maximum flow rate and residual urine volume. Finally, independent factors affecting the efficacy of vibegron were investigated.

Results:

Total OAB Symptom Score was significantly decreased (6.21 ± 3.12 vs 4.38 ± 2.46; P < .001). Although each score of several questionnaires, especially for storage symptoms, improved significantly, no significant improvement was found in stress incontinence, straining, bladder pain and urethral pain in the Core Lower Urinary Tract Symptom score. Maximum flow rate and residual urine volume did not change, and no patient discontinued vibegron because of adverse events. Multiple regression analysis showed that OAB Symptom Score, Core Lower Urinary Tract Symptom score, prostate volume and monotherapy with α-1 blocker were independent factors affecting the efficacy of vibegron.

Conclusion:

Add-on therapy of vibegron to monotherapy with α-1 blockers or PDE5 inhibitor for patients with benign prostatic hyperplasia and persistent storage symptoms was effective and safe.

Men with Adult ADHD. The Effect on Their Families.

The Sydney Morning Herald has an article on the problems of Adult ADD

I get wives on the phone saying, ‘If he doesn’t get help soon, I’m leaving,”‘ says Joy Toll of ADDults with ADHD (NSW),a voluntary organisation. Toll works on the organisation’s helpline.

Unfortunately some men who have ADD but are not officially diagnosed often stay in denial too long, sometimes with severe negative consequence. I have had many calls and emails from men who are in the midst of:

a) severe relationship problems with their wife/girlfriend
b) an ongoing divorce
c) just getting out of a divorce

where untreated ADD is a large factor in the these problems.

Sometimes they don’t know they might have ADD, other times they were told but didn’t want to admit it.

The cost of denial can be very high. Some of my Adult ADHD coaching clients have no problem with ADD at work, they’ve managed to find an ADD friendly job and modified it to work well for them, but do have problems at home due to ADD. I often coach them about developing better communication skills around issues of stress and time management.

It’s especially important for people with ADHD to try and learn these skills before having children – not only do they manage parenting better, but the children are less likely to replicate the same patterns of behaviour,” she says.
But for many people, the first inkling they have ADHD is when their own children are diagnosed with the disorder – and a parent sees their own childhood behaviour mirrored in their sons or daughters, explains Dr Julian Trollo r, a neuropsychiatrist with the Neuropsychiatric Institute at the Prince of Wales Hospital.

That’s why I think it’s so crucial that people who think they have ADD need to learn more about it and if necessary see an medical professional to find out if they have ADD or not.

Getting a diagnosis of ADD doesn’t mean someone will put a gun to your head and force a pill down your throat. You get to decide how you treat your ADD if you have it. You get to enjoy the benefits of the different methods of treating ADD, and suffer the costs of not treating ADD. ADD medications can be a very useful tool, but pills don’t teach skills. They can help put you in a better postion to learn them, but you still need to learn them.

The Harvard/NYU/W.H.O. adult ADHD screener test takes 5 minutes to do and is one of the most popular pages on my ADHD resource website.

If you have a spouse who has ADD, you might consider checking out the ADHD Partner Yahoo E-Group. Seems like a pretty active group.

One of the many reasons I focus on the strengths of Adults with ADD is to encourage those people (usually men but not always) who might otherwise be afraid of admitting they might have ADD to get a diagnosis.

One reason they don’t seek a diagnosis of ADHD is because they’re afraid someone might use it as yet another negative label to beat them up with and use against them as a weapon.

Another is the John Wayne myth, that a real man doesn’t ever need anyone to help him. Bullshit.

A real man seeks help when it would be useful to him, and offers it to others as well. It’s a sign of weakness to be afraid to ask for help, not a sign of strength. It shows that you’re scared of what other people might think of you and let their opinions and judgments or fear of them determine how you live your life.

If you were in denial about having ADD, and got diagnosed and treated, what got you to change your mind and seek help? Was it worth it?

Textured men’s jacket with linen addition

Diversify your everyday wardrobe with our sophisticated single-breasted blazer. The jacket features a classic and timeless style, a luxurious blend dominated by linen and cotton. Ideal to be worn buttoned or unbuttoned, can be paired with matching pants and a plain white shirt or a pair of smart jeans for a casual look

Detailed description
– Model height: 6ft 1 “/ 185 cm
More details
– Style: single-breasted jacket with 2 buttons
– Cut: classic
– Clasp: buttons
– Lining
– Lapel shape: notch
– Sleeve length: long
– Vents: two
– By purchasing M&S cotton products, you support more responsibly grown cotton under the Better Cotton initiative
Composition
– 55% linen, 23% cotton, 22% viscose
– Jacket lining – 100% polyester
Care instructions
– Dry cleaning

Which delivery method do you prefer?

Please pay attention: the official online store Marks & Spencer in Russia offers all possible delivery methods for your convenience.

Arranging delivery methods in ascending order of cost, we get a list:

Russian Post
Delivery to the pick-up point
Door-to-door courier delivery

Payment methods

You can pay for the order in a convenient way for you: on the website or upon receipt. Available payment methods: credit card or cash. Gift cards are not accepted for payment of orders.

Cash payment

Payment for the order in cash is carried out upon receipt of the order from the courier, at the point of issue of orders or at the post office.

Payment by credit card

Payment for the order by credit card is carried out on the website when placing the order. You can also pay for the order by credit card upon receipt of the goods from the courier or at the points of issue of the order only if they have such a technical capability.

In the production of Marks & Spencer products, the highest quality standards are observed so that the item will serve you for a long time and give you maximum comfort in use.

If the purchase does not meet your expectations, you can make an exchange or return in a convenient way for you.

Product is not available for order

You have disabled JavaScript. For the site to work properly, you must enable it in your browser settings.

You might like:

1250 p.

Top material 100% COTTON; Elegant straight fit cotton shirt with fine floral patterns …

3XL (FR 3XL)

1250 p.

Top material 100% COTTON; Elegant straight fit cotton shirt with fine floral patterns …

3XL (FR 3XL)

1125 p.