47 Hilarious Rope Puns – Punstoppable 🛑
Let the rope puns rule!
A rope walks into a bar…
The bartender says to him, “We don’t serve rope here; you’ll have to leave.”
So the rope goes back outside and ducks around the corner. He ties himself up, dishevels the strands on his head, and walks back into the bar.
Despite his new look, the bartender instantly recognizes him. “What did I tell you? We don’t serve rope here!”
And the rope replies, “A rope?! I’m a frayed knot.”
A tightrope is a tight rope
You’d know if you understood tautology.
Two fishermen were having a contest to see who could make the most knots with a length of rope
In the end they tied
I tried skipping rope. But I ended up being tied up.
That was knot my intention.
The guy at the hardware store tried to sell me a 500 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.
I hate long good buys.
A length of rope walks into a bar and orders two shots. ..
the bartender kicks him out on the daily making it known that they don’t serve ropes in his bar. One day he decides that he may have better luck with a disguise, so he ties himself up in a good tangle and frantically pulls all the fibers apart at both of his cut ends. He walks back into the bar and orders two shots. The bartender says to him, “ Hey…aren’t you that rope I kicked out of here yesterday?”. The rope looks at him confused and says, “ No, I’m a frayed knot”.
What did the nice rope get for XMAS?
Everything it wished for, it wasn’t knotty.
If you’re teaching a new plumber the ropes of the trade you’re technically…
Potty training
Couldn’t believe I got funding for my new bedding and rope project.
I sheet you knot
I wish I was an expert at tying ropes together
but I’m knot
What do you call a rope that insults you?
Discord
I pooped out a rope!!!
I sh*t you knot!!!
Do you know the name of braided old rope?
Frayed knot.
A piece of rope walks in to a bar
Rope: One beer, please.
Bartender: We don’t serve rope here.
Rope:walks outside and thinks
Rope:gets an idea, gets excited & messes up its hair
Rope:walks back in to the bar
Rope: One beer, please.
Bartender: Aren’t you that rope I just refused to serve. Rope: Nope, I’m a frayed knot.
Edit: Formatting.
I eat tangled rope.
I shit you knot.
I ducked under the rope
Man had the courage to come into my office and ask what the bucket, the rope, and the pipes were for…
Well, well, well.
What’s a ropes favorite food?
Tie food
A piece of rope walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender replies, “I’m sorry, but you’re a rope. I can’t serve you, and I’m not even sure how I could. Please leave.”
A short time later, the rope comes back into the bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender, a bit annoyed at the situation, says, “Look, I told you I can’t serve you. Just go away.”
A few hours later, the rope comes back in again.
The bartender is getting mad now. “Look, I told you twice that I can’t serve alcohol to a rope! Now get out and STAY OUT!”
Dejectedly, the rope leaves the bar and sits at the curb until a gentleman passes by. Suddenly, the piece of rope has an idea.
“Excuse me”, says the rope, “but could you do me a favor?”
“Um… me?” says the puzzled gentleman. “Uh… I guess so…”
“Great! I just need you to tie a big ol’ knot right in my middle.”
“Well,” says the gentleman. “I just so happens I was a former Eagle Scout. Here you go,” and ties a perfect knot in the rope. “Will that be all?”
The rope pauses for a second and says, “Actually, could you pull apart my ends and unravel them for a bit?”
The gentleman obliges and goes on his merry way. The piece of rope, satisfied at its new appearance, heads back into the bar.
Furious, the bartender shouts, “HEY! Aren’t you that same piece of rope I kicked out three times already?!?”
“No, I’m a frayed knot. “
(I made this one myself) what do you call two men boxing on a tight rope
Punchline
I bought a rope made out of dog hair but took it back
It was too ruff
I would tell a joke about how to use rope…
but it is knot that funny.
The metal hooks tied to my rope broke.
I’m having a hard time grappling with this.
If i were an executioner, i’d rather be the guy swinging an axe than the guy tying a rope.
easier to get a head
What if tesla was a rope making company ?
Its founder would be Elon Husk.
I tried to jump rope to lose weight
But I always end up skipping it.
I was going to jump rope for exercise this am
But I ended up skipping it
Ropes were invented by boat companies to raise sails
Son, can you tie this rope into loops while I go to the bathroom?
I shit, you knot.
Why did the torn rope refuse to go to the dark cabin
He was A-frayed
My annoying coworker asked, “Can I tell you my favorite rope tie?”
I said, “Kenyan knot?”
I was walking through a rope store.
All the ropes i saw were boring until i saw one that took my breath away.
Why Couldn’t the Rope Answer the Phone?
Because it was all tied up!
I’m thinking of starting a rope tying business
It would be a knot for profit organization.
A rope walks into a bar…
he sits down and orders a drink. the bartender says, “I’m sorry. we don’t serve ropes at this establishment”. The rope shrugs it off and leaves. The next day, the rope thought to himself, maybe it was just the one bartender who was a jerk. I’ll go back and try again. He walks into the bar, see’s a new bartender, and sits down to order a drink. Alas, this new bartender says, “we don’t serve ropes at this bar”. The rope is getting pretty heated at this point. He storms out of the bar, ruffles his ends, gets himself all twisted up, marches right back in, and demands a drink. The bartender responds, “aren’t you that rope I just kicked out?” the rope responds, “no, I’m a frayed knot”
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
A rope walks into a bar
A rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender scowls and says “We don’t serve ropes in here!”
The rope stares back and says “I’m not a rope!”
Flabbergasted the bartender says “You’re not?!”
To which the rope replies “No, I’m a frayed knot”
I have a joke about ropes
But its knot very good
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!
Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.
The hardware store guy offered to sell me a 50 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.
I hate long good buys.
A piece of rope walks into a bar
He asks for a drink, and the bartender responds sorry but we don’t serve your kind here.
So he calmly walks back outside, ruffles out the top of his head and turns himself around and over then walks back inside and back to the bartender. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and says, aren’t you the rope that was just in here a second ago? To which he says no, I’m a frayed knot.
So, a rope enters a bar…
Goes with the bartender and says
>”Give me your best beer!”
but the bartender replies
>”Sorry, but we give no service to ropes, please leave this place”
so the rope leaves, and decides to knot itself to be a totally different being.
So the rope goes back with the bartender, and the bartender says
>”Aren’t you the rope i just kicked out of here?”
and the rope says:
>”I’m a frayed knott”
The hardware store was selling a 50 ft. rope for $2, but I decided to pass.
I hate long good buys.
A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “No, you’re only a rope.” So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “Of course… Wait, aren’t you that rope?”
And the rope replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”
A piece of rope walks into a bar …..
…… and asks for a beer.
Bartender says “We don’t serve your kind here.”
So the rope walks outside and asks the first guy he sees to tie him in a knot and split his ends.
As he walked back into the bar the bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you that rope I just sent out of here?”
The rope smiles and says, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
A piece of rope walks into a bar…
The barman takes one look at him and says “Get out! We don’t serve your type here.”
The rope leaves, messes up his hair and tangles himself up a bit, then walks back into the bar.
The barman looks at him suspiciously and asks “Hey. Aren’t you that piece of rope I just kicked out?”
The rope replies “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
Hilarious Rope Jokes That Will Make You Laugh
President Trump attempts suicide, fails because of broken rope.
Fake noose.
Score: 721
Share:
You can’t hang a man with a wooden leg,
You need a rope.
Score: 322
Share:
I just drove past a prison and noticed a short fella escaping by sliding down a rope hung from the prison wall. ..
I thought, that’s a little condescending.
Score: 176
Share:
There was a man on a stool with a rope around his neck. He said he’ll kill himself if i didnt give him a high-five.
Of course i left him hanging.
Score: 156
Share:
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first?
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
Score: 146
Share:
If you want to hang yourself and still need a rope. ..
… take the one without any customer reviews. It should be the best for the job.
Score: 145
Share:
A man is walking down the street dragging 20 ft of rope behind him.
His neighbor is curious & asks, “Hey buddy, why you pulling that rope?”
The man replies, “You ever tried pushing it?”
Score: 135
Share:
An emo and a leaf fall from a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The leaf.
The emo is stopped by the rope.
Score: 95
Share:
Score: 83
Share:
If I had to choose between a rope or the inclined set of steps. …
I would opt for the latter.
Score: 76
Share:
What do you call a tangled rope in space?
Astro-knot.
Score: 65
Share:
[Dark Humor] A leaf and an emo falls off a tree. Who hits the ground first?
A leaf, because rope stops emo.
Score: 59
Share:
Why didn’t the rope get any presents this year?
He was very knotty.
Score: 58
Share:
An emo and a leaf were sitting at the top of a tree…
they both fall off at the same time? Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf.
The emo got caught by the rope.
Score: 44
Share:
A rope walks into a bar
And sees someone sitting at the bar reposting this joke. The rope hangs the reposter.
Score: 35
Share:
A rope walks into a bar
The bartender says “We don’t serve your kind”.
So the rope walks out, twists himself up and parts his hair and then walks back in.
The bartender asks “Aren’t you the same guy who was here a moment ago?”.
The rope replies “I’m a frayed knot.”
Score: 34
Share:
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Untie the rope…
Score: 33
Share:
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope imsosorry:(
Score: 28
Share:
What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?
You don’t want to look down.
Score: 26
Share:
What do you call a Sikh on a tight rope
Balan Singh.
Score: 26
Share:
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Score: 22
Share:
R*pe joke
A rope walks into a bar
Bartender: We don’t serve your kind here
The rope goes out, twists itself up, spikes his hair and goes in again
Bartender: Aren’t you the same guy from minutes before?
Rope: No, I’m a frayed knot
Score: 22
Share:
If your life is awful, get a rope and a stool
. ..and find the next tree. Throw the rope over a branch and attach the stool to the rope.
Now you’ve got a swing.
Score: 21
Share:
What did the mother rope say to her child?
“Don’t be knotty.”
Score: 20
Share:
My cannibal friend likes to eat tight-rope-walkers…
As part of a balanced diet.
Score: 20
Share:
What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?
The leaf, the rope stops the emo.
Score: 19
Share:
A rope orders a drink…
But the bartender says, “We don’t serve ropes here.”
The rope goes outside, ties himself up, unravels one end, and goes back inside.
“Hey, aren’t you that rope?” Says the bartender.
The rope shakes his head, “I’m frayed knot.”
Score: 18
Share:
I only had enough money to buy either a ladder or a rope…
I chose the latter.
Score: 18
Share:
My sister asked me what this rope is for
But I left her hanging
Score: 18
Share:
Did you hear about the rope that won’t pick up it’s own slack?
Some things just can’t be taught.
Score: 17
Share:
How do emo people support themselves?
With a rope
Score: 9
Share:
Dead husband
A detective asks a woman, “So, your husband hanged himself?”
Woman replies, “Yes, that is correct.”
The suspicious detective continues, “But why does he have all those bruises on his head?”
“The old fool used an elastic rope!”
Score: 7
Share:
Wanna hang together?
ill bring the rope
Score: 6
Share:
What do they do with rope in space?
Tie Astro-knots.
Score: 5
Share:
What did the shoelace say to the annoying rope?
Can you knot?
Score: 5
Share:
Built a robot to tie rope together…
But it does knot work.
Score: 4
Share:
At first I suspected foul play in the whole Aaron Hernandez suicide thing.
But I think he was just a guy at the end of his rope.
Score: 3
Share:
My boss said to me, “you’re the anchor of this company!”
He knows I’m a dead weight at the end of my rope. ..
Score: 3
Share:
Me and you are like an emo kid and a rope…
We hung out once and then it all ended.
Score: 3
Share:
Once I was a rope salesman
A costumer complained that I hadn’t given him enough. I had, but I cut him some slack.
Score: 2
Share:
Amur Polytechnic College
Regional Regional Conference
11/24/2017
November 22-23, 2017 students of the technical school took part in the regional local history conference “City Born of Courage”, dedicated to the 85th anniversary of the founding of the city of Komsomolsk-on-Amur.
At the conference, our participants presented their research work in two categories: “The history of the city in faces” and “The city in the near future.”
Read more
Social Disciplines Week
11/22/2017
From November 13 to November 18, , the Subject Week of Social Disciplines took place in the technical school.
As part of the Week, students were invited to take part in various extracurricular activities in social science, philosophy, sociology, political science, and law.
So on November 16, on the International Day of Philosophy, the library of the technical school hosted an event for students of the second and third courses “Mind Games”, prepared by the teacher of philosophy E.V. Borovkova. During the event, the children were offered a variety of competitions in which they were able to prove themselves as connoisseurs of philosophy. Fans also took an active part in the blitz survey on the history of philosophy.
Read more
Informing students on the Day of Legal Aid to Children
11/21/2017
From November 13 to 18, the technical school implemented the events of the week of social disciplines and legal assistance to children. Almost all students from the first to the fourth year received information from specialists from various departments and services. Representatives of the Center for Employment of the Population, the Center for Social Support of the Population, the Penitentiary Inspectorate, the Division for Juvenile Affairs spoke at information meetings at the technical school, and the legal adviser of the college conducted the reception.
Read more
“Geographical dictation” campaign
11/20/2017
Amur Polytechnic College is the venue for the international educational campaign “Geographical Dictation” (hereinafter Dictation).
Organizer of Dictation – All-Russian public organization “Russian Geographical Society”.
The purpose of the dictation: assessment of the level of geographical literacy of the population.
Geographical dictation is held on November 26, 2017
The beginning of the event is 12.00.
Venue: Building 1 of the Amur Polytechnic College, 47 Stroiteley Ave., Library, 1st floor
Schedule:
11.00 – the beginning of the site;
11.00-12.00 – collection, registration of participants and issuance of forms for writing Dictation;
12.00-12.15 – quiz, instruction on filling out forms for writing assignments;
12.15-13.00 – writing a Dictation;
13.00-13.10 – collection of completed forms for writing Dictation;
13.10 – site closing;
We invite you to take part in the geographical dictation of students and teachers
Amur Polytechnic College, as well as residents and guests of Amursk and the Amur region.
Read more
November 20 – World Children’s Day
11/13/2017
Booklet
KGB Action Plan POU APT
Read more
Amur Polytechnic College
Congratulations to Elena Antonovna Martinovich!
11/19/2015
November 17, 2015 at the Government House of the Khabarovsk Territory, the award of the Governor of the Khabarovsk Territory in the field of vocational education was awarded. In the nomination “Pedagogical workers of vocational educational organizations and departments of secondary vocational education of educational institutions of higher education”, such an award was presented to the teacher of our technical school, Elena Antonovna Martinovich, for her significant contribution to professional training in priority areas of economic development of the Khabarovsk Territory.
9ATTENTION!
November 20, 2015
All-Russian legal assistance to children
to minors to students of the technical school and their parents
(legal representatives) if necessary
from 13-00 to 16-00
, you can ask questions to the lawyer of the technical school
on the topic “Protection of the rights and interests of children “.
Legal advice office
is located on the 2nd floor of the educational building No. 1, office No. 219.
Read more
Olympiad of professional skill in the profession “Cook”
11/16/2015
On November 10, the Olympiad of professional skills in the profession “Cook” was held among second-year students at the Amur Polytechnic College. 10 people took part in the Olympiad. The Olympics were held in two stages. The first is the control of theoretical knowledge. Students worked with interactive tests. The second stage is the practical part of the competition. From the proposed products, the contestants must prepare a hot fish dish.
The Olympiad was held under the strict control of the jury members. An independent commission assessed the organization of the workplace, compliance with sanitary norms and rules, safety regulations, compliance with cooking technology, taste, presentation and serving of dishes, and work culture.
Read more
Vacation specialized school “Nanomir”
On November 5-6, a vacation profile school “Nanomir” was organized at the Amur Polytechnic College for schoolchildren 9th grades of secondary schools in the city of Amursk, a total of 64 people attended school classes. To get acquainted with the world of working professions and specialties, classes were organized for children in 7 areas.
Modules “Chipomir” (supervisor Yurchenko N.N.), “Fiery World” (supervisors Martinovich E.A., Bylkov A.A.), “Electromir” (supervisor Ponamareva L.P.), “World of Numbers” (supervisors Kucherova N.A., Rogova L.P.), “The world under the microscope” (heads Trifonova I.V., Fedoseeva N.A., Shkil N.B.), “Edible world” (heads (Yadymenko N.K. ., Ovchinova M.V., Yakovleva E.N., Mrikh N.A.), Drive World (headed by Stepanenkov V.A.) helped the children take their first steps in the profession.
Read more
STUDENT DEDITION-2015
The adaptation of first-year students has ended: the guys have learned the traditions and customs of the technical school, got acquainted with the rules of the internal regulations, uniform pedagogical requirements. And so, on November 3, the 1st course was dedicated to students. All those gathered
in the assembly hall was warmly welcomed by the acting director E.V. Shestopalko. According to the script, the senior students presented the students with the “Student ABC”, interrupting for funny skits, songs and dances.